Chapter 20 #2
“It’s something I’m working on. I clearly didn’t focus on what I wanted in the past. I’ve told you my relationship with Collin was perfect on paper, but in hindsight, it was lacking.
Like we were going through the motions. I think I was so focused on school and work, and I own my part in that.
It was more of a friendship, and there was no passion. ”
“But you and Nash seem awfully passionate,” Peyton said, as she waggled her brows. “Come on, something is going on there. You guys appear to hang out all the time, but are you doing the dirty deed?”
“Normally, I would call you out for being inappropriate, but I’m actually dying to know what the story is there. You, Nash, and Cutler seem awfully cozy when I see you together. There’s definitely passion there, because of the way he looks at you,” Demi said, before fanning her face. “It’s hot.”
My teeth sank into my bottom lip as Ruby jumped in. “You don’t have to tell us anything. We’re just happy to see you having fun.”
“I don’t mind talking about it. I used to tell Farah everything, and it feels weird now, because I don’t have my confidant, you know?”
“Because your confidant was banging your fiancé,” Ruby said, not making any effort to hide her annoyance. “She doesn’t deserve your friendship, Emerson.”
I nodded. “I know. But it’s weird because we’ve shared our secrets since we were little girls. And I’m dying to talk to someone about this,” I said, as the server brought over the glass of wine that I’d ordered.
“You can trust us. Our lips are sealed. We already know Midge’s dirty little secret,” Peyton said, reaching for a few onion rings.
“Obviously, Nash is focused on Cutler. He doesn’t do relationships, and I’m just getting out of a disaster of a relationship. The only one I’ve ever even had. So we’re just having fun, I guess.” I sipped my wine and felt my cheeks heat at the thought of him.
“By having fun, do you mean he’s rocking your world?
That man is one hard-bodied hotty. All tan and golden and sexy.
” Peyton shrugged, and we all gaped at her.
“What? You know it’s true. And he clearly likes you because you spend so much time together.
It’s always just been him and Cutler and the guys. He’s different with you.”
“She’s right,” Demi, Saylor, and Ruby all said at the same time, which made me laugh.
“We just make out like teenagers every night, and I think he’s afraid to take things further because I’ve been honest about Collin being the only man I’ve ever been with.
So he probably feels like it’ll be too much for me.
” I wasn’t about to admit that the man gave me daily orgasms just by touching me.
We’d never had sex, but we’d done everything else.
And it was all I could think about most days.
“Would it be too much for you? To have sex without knowing where it’s going to lead? Is that an issue for you?” Ruby asked.
“Always the therapist.” Peyton flicked her thumb at Ruby.
“It’s a fair question,” I said. “And no. I don’t know what the future holds for me for the first time in my life.
I have an interview with Boston Children’s in a few weeks, and hopefully, I’ll figure out where I’m going when my contract is up here.
Nash and I have both been honest about what we have to offer, but we aren’t spending time with other people, so it’s not like it’s a one-night hookup type of thing. ”
“Those are my favorite,” Peyton said, bumping me with her shoulder and waggling her brows at me.
“So, why not go for it? Have some fun. He’s a good man. You clearly really enjoy being around one another,” Saylor said.
I nodded. “Let’s just say that he’s usually the one to stop things. And I’ve been sort of waiting for him to make the next move, but it just hasn’t happened yet. Maybe he doesn’t want to go there.”
Ruby rolled her eyes before tossing a tot into her mouth. “Please. That man looks at you like he’s ready to strip you naked in front of all of us. We’ve all noticed. Knowing Nash, he’s trying to be respectful. Why not take your own advice and ask for what you want?”
“Yes. I think you should definitely do that.” Demi rubbed her hands together.
“Yeah. It’s not a bad idea.” I took a bite of my chicken finger and thought it over.
“I think you should go for it.” Saylor took a sip of her wine.
“Just tell the man that you want him, and then get on your knees and crawl to him and beg for it,” Peyton said, and we all turned and gaped at her. “What? That would be so hot.”
“Maybe for some. I think I’d prefer to tell River to get on his knees and crawl to me and beg for it. In fact, I think I’ll give that a shot tonight.” A wicked grin spread across Ruby’s face.
“Oh, I guess that’s what happens when you’ve got two alphas under one roof. So what do you think, Emerson? Are you going to crawl to him and beg for it, or make him crawl to you?” Peyton raised a brow.
I reached for an onion ring and took a bite as I thought it over. “I think I’m going to just tell him how I feel and see what happens.”
“That’s a brilliant idea,” Demi said, and she smirked. “Not that I have anything against anyone getting down on their knees.”
“King would love if I demanded that he get on his knees,” Saylor said over a fit of laughter, and we all joined in.
We paused and ordered another round of drinks, and Demi just asked for a refill of her water.
“What is going on with you?” Peyton asked. “It’s a girls’ night.”
“Well, there’s something I wanted to tell you, and I was waiting for us to all be together.”
Peyton fell forward, resting her head in her hands. “Oh, my gosh. This is it, isn’t it?”
Demi smiled, and her eyes watered. “It is. I’m preggers. My sexy boxer husband put a baby in me.”
High-pitched squeals left everyone’s mouths, and we each took turns hugging her.
And in that moment, it hit me.
Life was full of ups and downs.
I’d been down for a while, but it felt like things were turning around.
And I was ready to ask for what I wanted.
I may not know what the future holds, but I know what I want in this moment.
And he happened to live right next door to me.