Chapter 14
fourteen
. . .
Savannah
He left the room, and I was grateful that he was gone. I glanced at the envelope again and recognized the address.
My mother’s address in the city.
It was the apartment she’d moved into with her lover.
My teacher.
Why would she have returned the letters to Hayes?
Probably because it was months before I’d agreed to see her after we’d moved.
We’d had a horrible fight that day my father and I had packed up the car and left.
I’d told her that she’d ruined everything.
She’d broken my father’s heart. She’d made me the laughingstock at my high school. Everyone in town knew what they’d done.
So, we hadn’t been on the best of terms back then.
Not that things were perfect today, but we were better.
Civil.
Sometimes friendly.
I unfolded the notebook paper, and even his handwriting was strangely comforting to me.
Familiar.
Hayes Woodson had always felt like my home.
Until my home was shattered, and he’d turned on me like everyone else. I swiped at the tear rolling down my cheek and sucked in a deep breath.
Sav,
I don’t know what the fuck is happening.
I know you’re going through a lot right now, but I can’t believe you moved without talking to me.
So fucking much has happened, and I don’t know how to reach you, and I’m losing my shit.
Barry and my mom had a fight. Saylor got hurt.
It was bad. She went to the hospital, and I lost my shit on him.
They held me for a few hours down at the police station.
Where the fuck are you, Sav? I’ve called and texted, and it looks like you blocked me.
Your mom said you and your dad moved to the city?
How the hell is that possible? I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here.
I’m staying with Nash and his dad. Saylor is with King.
Jesus Christ, everything has gone to shit.
Romeo and River got sent to juvie. I need to fill you in.
Everything is a mess. I know you’re upset about your mom’s affair.
It’s been a rough couple of weeks for you, and I’m so sorry if I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.
I don’t know why you and your dad took off.
How could you move without telling me? I would walk through fucking fire for you. You know that. Please call me.
P & C, Hayes
I looked down at my wrist as the tears fell onto the paper. I ran my thumb over the tiny orange carrot tattoo on the inside of my wrist.
Peas and carrots.
That’s what we once were.
I tossed the paper beside me on the bed and fell back. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to remember that last day.
The day that everything changed.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you,” my mother said when I came through the door before anyone realized that I was there.
I’d gone down to my favorite place on the water after school to hide out until well after dark. I’d needed to quiet my thoughts. Mr. Jones was the most popular teacher at our school, and his wife, Mrs. Jones, was also very well-liked.
But I was now wearing a scarlet letter. One that belonged to my mother.
Her affair with Mr. Jones was all anyone could talk about, and the last two weeks since the news broke had been unbearable.
A living hell.
Someone had spray painted the word whore on my locker. There were sticky notes that said things like: Like mother, like daughter.
I was somehow a home-wrecker now.
Mrs. Jones was my math teacher, so spending ninety minutes in class with her three days a week was a real joy.
She despised me. Everyone despised me.
Well, aside from my father, Hayes, Abe, and Lily.
At least that’s how it felt.
And coming home to yet another fight was just icing on the cake at this point.
“You never meant to hurt me? That’s your defense?” My father’s voice was even and calm, but I heard the pain. I moved to the hallway so they wouldn’t know I was there.
Had I ever wanted to disappear this badly before?
I hadn’t eaten much in days, and nothing about my life was normal anymore.
“Billy, you know I can’t handle things the way that you do. Keeping your cancer a secret, it’s too much for me.”
Keeping your cancer a secret? What the hell was she talking about?
“So, you went off and fucked your daughter’s married teacher? That’s how you cope with things, Delila? When I’m at my lowest, you turn your back on me?”
“I didn’t expect to fall in love,” she said over her sobs.
Oh. My. God. She was in love now? This was a never-ending nightmare.
“Well, who knew? Your husband finds out he has cancer, and when he needs you most, what do you do? You fuck another man and then you fall in love with him? That’s about as low as it gets.
I’m not going to lie. You’ve destroyed our family.
Look what you’ve done to our daughter,” he hissed, and I’d never heard my father sound so angry before.
“Hayes got sent home from school two days ago because he got in yet another fight trying to defend her from the hell she’s taking at school. ”
I swiped at the tear running down my cheek.
Hayes had punched Kory Langers in the face for making some vulgar comment about me spreading my legs just like my mother does.
So he’d knocked him out and had been sent home from school.
His football coach was not happy with him, and I felt like everything was crumbling around me.
My mother sobbed, and I leaned against the wall in the hallway and squeezed my eyes closed. My father had cancer? My mother was in love with another man?
“I’m sorry,” she said over her cries.
“You’re sorry? I wanted to tell Savvy about the cancer months ago, and you convinced me not to.
You said you’d stand by me, and we’d get through it together.
I begged you to move to the city so I could start more aggressive treatment.
And you insisted we stay here. Was that all so you could be with your lover?
” he shouted, and my eyes sprung open at the sound of the anger in his voice.
“I didn’t want to uproot Savvy’s life!” She’d stopped sobbing now, and her voice was crystal clear. My mom had always had a gift for theatrics.
“Really? Well, how’s that going, Delila? She’s being tortured at school. She has to sit in a classroom with your lover’s wife and bear all the anger from irrational teenagers who don’t have a fucking clue that she’s an innocent victim.”
“You know what, Billy? You and Savannah are not the only two people going through it. I’ve also been judged by everyone in this town,” Mom said.
“Do you hear yourself? You are the one who did the crime. You are supposed to have consequences. Our daughter is not. I am not,” he hissed.
“Billy,” she sobbed. “I have said that I’m sorry every day for the last two weeks. What do you want from me?”
“What do I want? I don’t know, Delila. Maybe a wife who’s faithful. A wife who doesn’t make me and our daughter the laughingstock of the town we live in. A wife who makes my survival and recovery her priority. A wife who will fight for our family!” he shouted.
“I can’t fight for our family, Billy!”
“Of course, you can’t. You’ve never made me or Savvy a priority,” my father said, and I used my hand to cover my mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to escape.
“I would if I could,” she cried.
“You would if you could? That’s such bullshit. You really think he’s going to leave his wife for you? You’re going to risk it all for a fling?” My father’s voice cracked on the last word.
“He’s leaving her.” Her voice was eerily calm now. “I’m pregnant with his child.”
Pregnant.
My legs went weak, and I slid down the wall, falling until my ass hit the floor.
This nightmare would never end.
The sound of glass shattering against a wall startled me, but I just stayed where I was. I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t think.
My father shouted for my mother to get out and said he’d be gone in the morning.
I tried to tune them out until I heard the front door slamming shut.
“Savvy, I’m sorry you had to hear that.” My father’s voice pulled me from my daze as he stood at the end of the hallway, looking at me. “We shouldn’t be putting this affair on you. And you should have been told about the pregnancy privately. I’m sorry.”
“Dad,” I said, as a sob tore through me, and I pushed to my feet. “I don’t care about any of that. You have cancer?”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “I do. It’s progressing, and I need to get my health under control.”
“I heard you say that you’d be gone in the morning. Where are you going?”
“I wanted to talk to you about that, and I wish it could have happened differently. But I found an apartment in the city. I was hoping it would be the three of us getting a fresh start there, but after tonight, that’s not going to happen, Savvy.
I can’t be here and fight this disease and deal with the fallout from the affair.
I want the best for you, and I just don’t think it’s here anymore. ”
I pulled back and nodded. “I want to go with you. I want you to be okay.”
I didn’t know what would happen to my mother, but I knew I needed to leave with my father.
“Me, too. So, pack your things, and we’ll leave in the morning. I’ll hire movers to come get the rest of our things next week. I can’t be here anymore.” His eyes were so tired, but he didn’t look sick.
How could I have not known? Not noticed? I’d been so caught up in my own drama, and now, none of it mattered.
“Okay. I’ll pack my things and be ready to go in the morning.”
He kissed the top of my head, and I went to my room and started packing. I checked my phone, and there were a slew of texts from Hayes, asking where the hell I was. I’d been MIA for hours, and we never went long without speaking.
I called him immediately, and it went straight to voicemail.