Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Paxton
I get another slice of pizza out of the box and take a bite.
Today was frustrating. I was supposed to give a tour of the brewery, but they had to reschedule for tomorrow.
I understand things come up and plans need to be adjusted, but lately, it seems everything I attempt fails. It’s messing with my head.
I’m a man who strives for success and until recently, I always succeeded.
I realize it’s not actually that way, but because of my mixed-up feelings about Hartford, it feels like it.
When I talked to Harrison and he told me to push my feelings down like I always have, I thought it was the best advice.
It was advice I could follow, considering I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember.
But right now, I’m sitting here wishing Hartford was in my bed with no stupid rules cockblocking me.
I finish my slice of pizza and snag a beer from the fridge. The Puppy Politics Pilsner, or Triple P for short, is Hartford’s favorite.
“Christ,” I whisper before taking a long pull. It’s getting to the point where I can’t even drink a beer without thinking of her.
There’s a knock on my door and I stare at it blankly.
No one comes here. I don’t entertain because my apartment is just a place where I lay my head.
It’s nothing fancy, nothing great. It’s not a big house like Callum’s.
It’s not an expensive house like Shepherd’s.
One day, but right now, I’m content just having a place of my own.
I’ve got all the essential things. A worn La-Z-Boy beckons in one corner. Across the room, a modest TV stands sentinel, offering a brief escape from reality. Even a compact galley kitchen to cook meals just for myself.
Yet, despite these essentials, there's a palpable absence—a void where a couch should be. Without it, my apartment remains just that—a space.
Another knock and I trudge to the door.
I pull the door open, revealing Hartford standing before me, tears glistening in her captivating eyes. Her fingers clutch the handle of a suitcase tightly, and my mind races with possibilities.
“Hartford, are you okay?”
“Can I stay with you?”
I lead her inside. “What kind of question is that? Of course you can. What happened?”
She rents her house from her aunt, maybe she came back and told Hartford to leave? Maybe she lost her job because I suck at helping her with BDSM and she can’t afford the house anymore?
“There was a fire.”
“A fire? Are you okay? Did you get burned?” I run my hands and eyes all over her.
She swats my hands away. “I’m fine. I didn’t get burned.”
“What happened?”
She makes the short walk to the living room and plops down in my favorite black leather La-Z-Boy chair, pulling her legs under herself. Her eyes lift to me and I see the tears swimming in them. It breaks my heart, and I kneel beside her, resting my hand on her knee.
“Talk to me, Hart.”
“It all happened so quickly. Electrical fire. Due to a hot wax machine.”
“Hot wax?” I lift a brow. “Were you going to do some scenes without me?” I know it’s not the time to joke around, but…
She shakes her head, her auburn hair falling into her eyes. I want to brush her hair back, but I keep my hands still. “No, I was going to wax my legs, and other things.”
Holy fuck. I stand from my position, pacing at the thought of Hartford and her…um…waxing. Dirty reel after dirty reel flies through my mind at warped speed of Hartford’s silky legs. My hands all over them. Inching up. Up.
Fuck.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I say, pulling myself together
She sighs, shrugging her shoulders. “The firemen said there’s a lot of damage and it could take a few weeks to fix.
I called my aunt, and she’s getting in touch with a contractor who will come over and give me a quote on everything.
” She chokes back a sob and covers her face with her hands. “It’s going to cost me all my savings.”
“First, stop worrying about money. The most important thing is that you didn’t get hurt.
Second, you have homeowner’s insurance, that will take care of most of the bill.
And you’re a renter. Your aunt will get it squared away.
And if you need help, I’m right here. I’ve got plenty of money saved that I won’t miss. ”
She wraps her arms around my neck and cries. Her tears wet my skin and I close my eyes, trying to keep my own emotions in check.
“I’ve got you. You can stay here as long as you need,” I whisper, stroking her hair.
“I don’t want to put you out, but my parents have that renovation going, and they’re still in Florida while that happens. I didn’t know where else to go.”
I pull away from her and place my hands on either side of her tear-stained cheeks. “This is where you come, Hartford. When you need something, when you’re in trouble, you come to me, always. Understand me? You could never put me out.”
She nods. “Thank you, Paxton.”
We sit for a while and I put on a mindless TV show to help distract her brain. I offered her food, but she said her stomach was in knots. I convinced her to drink a bottled water, and that’s sufficient for now.
She seems more relaxed, and that’s all I wanted. Everything else will work itself out.
“Are you sure you don’t want a slice of pizza? I can heat it up.”
“No, seriously, I’m good. I’m just tired and ready to put this day behind me.”
“Yeah, I’m beat too.” I stand and stretch. “You take the bed. I’ll take the recliner.”
She jumps up, shaking her head. “No way. You can’t sleep in a chair while I enjoy your king-sized bed.”
I shrug and wrap my arm around her slender shoulders. “I’ve passed out many nights in that chair.”
She tilts her head as she stares up at me.
“Right, you’ve passed out in the chair, but at some point, you went to your bed.
Sleeping in a chair isn’t relaxing. You aren’t going to wake up refreshed and ready to work.
You’ll be dragging ass and miserable.” She grins, searching my eyes.
“I’m not gonna live with someone who’s like that. ”
Sharing a bed with Hartford was something I wished for just before she knocked, but it could be dangerous having her that close to me. The selfish side of me dismisses that thought.
“You sure about this?”
“Pax, we’ve shared a bed before.”
I chuckle. “Things have changed since middle school.”
“Have they?”
I search her face and realize things are different for me, but not for her. She still won’t cross that line, and I need to accept that.
“No, I guess not. Let’s go to bed. Tomorrow I’ll empty a few drawers so you aren’t living out of a suitcase.”
I carry her suitcase into the bedroom and place it on top of my dresser. She heads to it and pulls out clothes as I step out of my sweats and remove my shirt.
“I’m going to change in the bathroom,” she says, avoiding my gaze.
She disappears into the bathroom, and I pull the comforter back and climb into bed.
I can’t let my feelings get the best of me.
My best friend needs me right now. She doesn’t need to know that every time she pushes me back into the friend zone, it kills me a little.
All she needs to know is that I’m here for her.
That’s what she needs right now—my friendship.
When she returns to the bedroom, I remind my dick of the plan, because the navy blue cotton tank top she has on is low cut and does nothing to hide her hard nipples and stops just above her matching navy blue shorts that barely cover her round ass, and it’s stirring him to life.
She climbs in bed and I move closer to the edge, making sure her silky skin doesn’t touch mine.
She rolls onto her side and rests her head on her hand. “Seems nothing goes as planned, even my bath.”
Damn. She looks sexy as hell, staring at me from under her long lashes with my comforter wrapped around her.
“I know the feeling.”
“Do you?”
I roll onto my side and mimic the way she’s lying. “Of course I do. You and I are in this together. The scenes aren’t just going wrong for you, Hart, they’re going wrong for me too. You’re not alone. But, we need to remember these things are just bumps, not roadblocks.”
She smiles, a genuine smile. “I like that.”
Before I do everything I just convinced myself not to do, I say, “Let’s get some sleep.”
She falls asleep quickly, but sleep takes longer to find me. I stare at her. How her hair fans out across the pillow. How her chest rises and falls lightly as she breathes. I soak in the soft sounds she makes and the way her pink lips slightly part.
She takes my breath away.
And I fall asleep to thoughts of all things Hartford.
The next morning the sun shines through the window and I groan, wrapping my arms tighter around the warm body next to me.
Realization hits me and my eyes snap open.
Hartford is pressed against me, her chest to mine.
My arms hold her impossibly close, while her legs are tangled with mine. She looks so peaceful, so relaxed.
She looks like she belongs right where she is—in my arms.
A soft moan escapes her, and she moves, slowly blinking her eyes open. She grins and then her eyes widen. I pull away from her, acting as if nothing is wrong and stretch.
“How’d you sleep?”
She looks as confused as I feel. “Um, good. I slept good.”
“Me too.” I get out of bed and grab my clothes. “I need to get in the shower. I have that tour today. I’ll fix us breakfast when I’m done.”
I leave the room and close my eyes.
Hartford staying with me is going to be the biggest challenge I’ve ever experienced.
I walk into Atta Boy, leaving the hard-on I’ve had all morning outside. Today I need to focus on this tour, and I can’t let my feelings get in the way.
“Morning, Trudi,” I say, walking past the bar.
“Morning,” she replies, wiping everything down.
I poke my head in the kitchen and see Griffin busy prepping for the day ahead. “Hey, man. How’s it going?”
He continues to cut up limes as he replies, “Can’t complain. How’s everything with you?”