Chapter 7
MAHOGANY
“Long time no see,” said the bartender, Angel.
I smiled and sat my purse on the bar top before sitting on a stool. “Yeah. Gave this place a break.”
I was at Pandora’s. Hadn’t been in months and for good reason.
The last time I was in the building it was to watch.
However, even that was a bit much so, I stopped visiting all together.
It never had been a place for me as a married woman.
But prior to a couple of years ago, I had every right to be in attendance.
Duke wasn’t shit. Steady cheating, breaking my heart.
These days, Pandora’s wasn’t needed . He hadn’t cheated and I felt like the last time I participated was get back enough.
“Same ol’, same ol’?” Angel asked, reaching for the bottle of whiskey, ready to make me a Manhattan.
I used to visit so much that the bartenders knew me by name and drink.
Mocha. That’s what I went by. Had to have an alias, always wore my mask.
Unless I was in a VIP suite, which I rarely ever was.
The mask gave me the freedom I needed. Without it, I would have thought too much.
Would have worried. Would have easily morphed into that Mahogany I was the first night.
The first night was the reason I’d visited today.
I was in my feelings during this time of year, remember? Longing. No longer wishing. Just longing. For him. Tonight, more than the other morning. Duke pissed me off.
I was still on the same tip I was on earlier; pissed about therapy. Madder now because instead of coming home like he was supposed to, he went over his boys house. What kind of shit was that?
Now look. I’m at Pandora’s surrounded by amazing sex, good vibes, and good drinks and what was I doing?
Thinking about him. Thinking about the mistakes I made when I was too young to have a backbone.
The only reason I’d come was because he wasn’t home.
Couldn’t imagine sitting there, wallowing in regret while he had a good night, surrounded by his funky ass friends. Fuck them. And fuck him.
Today was a day. Work hadn’t even been good.
All I did all day, for hours was stress about a meeting I had coming up.
I thought, for some odd reason, that therapy would turn my day around.
I thought, maybe after we’d talk about the session, he’d soothe my triggers, and we’d enjoy the rest of the day.
The best way we could, at least. I wanted a bit of normalcy after.
But… hello. The nigga couldn’t give a damn about the way I felt because he didn’t feel the same.
“Two,” I told Angel after she slid the drink in front of me.
With raised brows, she leaned on the bar top. “Long day?”
“Long ass day,” I added before taking a sip of the drink. The minute the velvety, smoky, taste hit my tastebuds, I lightly sighed. God, I missed this.
Lately, I’d been drinking a lot more than usual.
Had been a while since I had anything as strong as a Manhattan though.
Tonight, Caymus just wasn’t going to cut it.
Lounging around in my pajamas wasn’t going to cut it neither.
So, I was dressed in a bad ass all black, leather jumpsuit I changed into once I got to the club.
Would be changing out of it before I left, but at least I looked good as hell for the moment.
I needed whiskey and action. The perfect distraction.
I was sitting on the same stool I sat in five years ago, thinking about him.
The minute I sat down, I ruminated, that regret deepening by the second.
I hated how much of a pussy I was. Wished I was the woman I was today, back then.
I would have fucked Armani suit on the bar top if Marlon—the bartender—would have let me.
I took another sip, lightly sighing again.
This time because I wanted him. I would have sucked his dick, with my eyes locked on his, snatching his soul the way only Mocha could.
Would have swallowed every drip of his nut and then went home and kissed my husband.
With tongue. He deserved that back then.
Sometimes, I felt like he deserved it now.
Revenge with Armani suit would have been the absolute sweetest because you know what?
Duke cheated on me with three other women after that night.
“That makes two of us, girl,” Angel stated with a sigh. Looking around, she added, “It’s slow for a Friday night.”
I looked around with a nod.
It was. Very slow. It was a few steps down from the way it was five years ago. The same type of people frequented the place. Politicians, rappers, news anchors, police officers, but there were a lot of people in masks now.
Somebody with a one night only pass breeched contract and went on a telling spree.
Behind a fake page at least. Because they didn’t have any pictures or an invitation to back it up, a lot of people thought it was trolling.
Most of the people she mentioned had never been in the media with stories like the ones she shared, hanging over their heads.
They figured it was some bitter, bored conspiracy theorist behind the page.
However, Emerald knew. She had the person tracked down a day after the page went up.
Although she had done damage control, Pandora’s still took a hit.
“It been like this all month?” I asked, worried about Em.
We did do lunch every Wednesday, but she failed to mention how things were doing at the club. We didn’t really talk about Pandora’s, as odd as it might’ve been. We were just really good friends who apparently needed one another.
“Yep. That page is going viral again. Might’ve been taken down, but the screenshots steady circulating Facebook.”
“Damn,” I mumbled, taking another sip, finishing the drink.
I made a mental note to check in with Emerald about it. Pandora’s was her baby, just as much as Couture was mine. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if my clientele list dropped severely because of a couple of bad reviews.
Flicking my wrist, I checked the time on my watch.
It was inching in on ten. Duke said he’d be home by then.
I didn’t care to be there when he arrived.
Fuck him. According to him, I was at Sienna’s house.
Location pinged there and everything. I dropped my iPad off there before I hopped on the freeway.
Was she upset? Yes. Only because she thought I was cheating.
Did I explain anything to her? Hell naw.
Sienna knew what Sienna needed to know about my situation.
I never overshared. Not only because I didn’t want her in my business but because it was complicated to explain. My need for freedom and companionship.
I turned around on my stool and put my focus on the room.
I couldn’t escape it. The thought of Duke.
I needed a deeper distraction. Something that would slide in balls deep and hit the bottom of my pussy.
I brushed my hand through my hair with a deep breath.
I shouldn’t have come here. I was trying, remember?
But was he? And who’s to say he was at his friends house?
He could’ve been with a bitch for all I knew.
Excuses.
I was clawing for them. Digging for any reason to scour the club for a victim. Not really a victim. Him. Not him but… him. Judah. Someone who’d make me cum three times back-to-back. A real pussy connoisseur.
He was my first.My second if we’re being technical.
Found me on this very barstool, scanning the club for him .
Mr. Armani suit. I spent three months looking for and waiting for him to come back.
On the night that I had my Pandora’s cherry popped, I’d finally decided to let him go.
He wasn’t returning and I was pissed. Pissed and horny as fuck.
After watching Judah, watch me for two and a half months, I finally gave in to his beckoning eye contact and locked eyes with him.
Once I met him there, it was a wrap. He nodded, I nodded, and just like that, he made his way over to me.
Ju was handsome, saw that the first time I noticed him.
Would have fucked him sooner if I hadn’t grown attached to a feeling.
Anyway, he was very handsome, with piercing eyes that made my pussy pulsate.
His presence wasn’t as heavy as his . Judah didn’t hold the same weight.
Didn’t have a smell that would stay seared into my nostrils.
Didn’t feel what I felt with him when he extended his hand for me to shake.
Felt nothing, actually. But what Ju did have was something no one else had. Big dick energy.
There were a lot of men walking around Pandora’s with big dicks, but they didn’t have that energy.
They were deep in their egos, naked from the waist down, walking around with it on display with pride.
Judah had the presence of a man that carried one.
Everything about him said he made up for what he didn’t carry in energy, with what he had between his legs. And I was right.
He fucked me good. Took away all of my frustrations.
Made Duke and his cheating a distant memory.
Momentarily. It always was momentarily. The minute that orgasm subsided, it was right back to reality.
Right back to hurting. Right back to running…
from the truth. Which was why it was easy to walk away from Pandora’s.
It was a temporary fix for a more than temporary problem.