Chapter 8 #3
I was stressed. My marriage was ending. And my balls were heavy.
I needed to feel something other than the turmoil I’d felt over the past few weeks.
I needed somewhere to escape. It wasn’t ideal…
me fucking Talia but we were there. What else could I do besides fuck her?
Did this even count as cheating? Mahogany was leaving me.
She was done with me. I wanted another chance.
Needed another chance but something in my spirit said I was all out of those.
And while fucking Talia might’ve been fucked up, it was all I had in the moment.
And I felt good. Felt like I was on cloud nine. I didn’t know how I would feel once I slid out. Didn’t know how I would feel once I was completely sober and the sun was up. But in the moment, I was good.
She pulled the strap of her tank down and pulled her titties out.
I gripped one, taking the nipple into my mouth.
She gripped the back of my neck and told me to suck harder, instantly reminding me of Mahogany.
I listened. Raked my nails up her back and grabbed her by the back of her neck while I sucked as hard as I could on her nipples.
She moaned and I bit down on it before telling her to shut the fuck up.
I didn’t want to hear her moans. I wanted to hear my wife’s.
I wanted to be buried balls deep inside of her. I wanted her nipples in my mouth.
Closing my eyes, I thought about Mahogany.
Escaped reality for a minute and put Mahogany’s face on Talia’s.
It made the sex better. Made me fuck her harder.
When I gripped her ass cheeks and spread the open, she didn’t feel like Mahogany.
Didn’t grip me the same. Wasn’t as slippery.
But she sufficed. I grabbed her by the waist and flipped her over, turning her around.
She gripped the back of the couch and arched.
I stood behind her, wrapped my hands around her waist and pounded into her.
She yelped. I smacked her on the ass and told her to shut the fuck up. Did she forget we were at Tank’s shit?
“You fuckin’ the shit out of meeeee,” she whined.
I put my foot up on the couch and dug deeper inside of her. “I said shut the fuck up bitch. Ain’t this what you wanted? Hm? You wanted me to fuck the shit out ‘chu didn’t you?”
“Yes, Duke. Pleaseeee, fuck me. Fuck me just… just like that.”
I covered her mouth with my hand and did just that.
Fucked her. Slammed my dick in and out of her like I didn’t love her.
Gave her the angry dick I wanted to give Mahogany.
Fuck was she leaving me for? Why was she doing this to me?
Why had she done this to me? If it weren’t for her putting me out, I wouldn’t be here.
I wouldn’t have gotten fucked up. I wouldn't have fucked Talia.
At all. She did this. She pushed me to this.
My heart was broken. I was broken. I felt like I was losing myself.
Losing my identity. Slowly morphing into someone I didn’t want to be.
This version of myself had died a long time ago.
I wasn’t turning into him though. I was turning into something much worse.
Who in the fuck would I really become? Without her?
Without them? I couldn’t become one of them.
A man without a wife. I couldn’t become this.
A broken nigga who missed work and got drunk during the week.
This wasn’t me. I wasn’t like Cecil. I wasn’t like Tank.
Wasn’t like Lee either. I needed the structure I got from being with Mahogany. That was my life.
As I dug into Talia, I thought about the direction my life was heading in.
Would I end up fucking with her on the regular?
Would I turn into one of my niggas, for real?
Was I on a slippery slope? Life looked uncertain without Mahogany in it.
Why in the fuck was she doing this to me, bro? I didn’t want to be out here like this.
I froze up.
Stopped pounding into Talia and just sat there, dick throbbing, her steady talking shit, mumbling against my hand.
Slowly, I slid my hand away from her mouth and slid out of her pussy. She sucked her teeth and backed her ass up against me. “What the fuck? Duke.”
Instead of saying anything to her, I reached down for my pants and pulled them up.
“Really?” She asked, panting. Turning around, she went to grab my pants, and I swatted at her hands.
“Chill man. Shit wasn’t supposed to happen.”
She sucked her teeth. “Yes it was. You can’t just—Duke you can’t just stop.”
“The fuck I can,” I said, walking away, heading for Tank’s bedroom.
What in the fuck had I done? I was tweaking.
Losing my shit for real. I had taken it to a brand new low, hadn’t I?
I cheated. Cheated on my wife in the middle of a rough patch.
That’s what is was. A rough patch. Something we were going to eventually come out of.
And I cheated. Couldn’t survive a week out here without her.
Couldn’t control my liquor, couldn’t control myself. I was a dumb ass nigga, for sure.
Standing at Tank’s bedroom door, I banged on it. After a second or so, he called out.
“Fuck is that?”
“I need my keys nigga. Right fuckin now,” I barked.
“His keys? Tank you still got his keys? Give that nigga his shit so he can get away from my door. Waking us up and shit,” complained Char.
“You just about to go?” Talia whispered, standing next to me. “Really, Duke?”
“Really,” I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets.
I couldn’t look at her. I was disgusted with myself. I fucked up. I fucked up royally. I wasn’t supposed to fuck with her. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I was supposed to be at the house. Fuck was I doing, man?
A couple of seconds later, Tank snatched the bedroom door open, eyed me and Talia up and down and said, “Fuck you doin still here?”
Talia sucked her teeth. “I—I was too drunk to drive. I slept in Gigi’s room on the floor. He woke me up… banging on the door.”
Tank squinted and handed me the keys. “You smooth?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll hit you up tomorrow.”
With that, I headed out of the crib, without uttering another word to Tali.
I got in the whip and tossed my head back against the headrest. It was late.
Close to five in the morning. In a minute, Mahogany would be up, getting ready to get the kids up.
I closed my eyes and thought about her. Thought about what she would be doing in a couple of minutes.
She’d make her tea and while it cooled, she’d wake them up one by one.
And then she’d grab her tea, go out on the balcony and sip on it while the sun came up.
I wanted to go back to the crib. I wanted to see her.
Wanted to sneak up on her while she sat there, obliviously beautiful as hell in her element.
But… I opened my eyes and looked down at myself.
I had another bitch on me. All over me. I could still smell Talia’s cheap ass Bath and Body Works on me.
And my dick... It was covered in her pussy juice.
Fuck type of nigga would I be? Showing up now?
I sighed, hit the start button on the car, and pulled off in the direction of the hotel.