Chapter 24
DUKE
“I got approved. Going to grab the keys right now,” I said to Mahogany, who was standing in the laundry room, putting clothes into the dryer.
She glanced over at me. “Congratulations.”
I sucked my teeth. “Ain't shit to be congratulating me over. I’m just letting you know.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay nigga. The fuck? You ain’t gotta tell me shit; just go.”
“You got some nerve, having an attitude with me like I didn't catch you with your ass tooted up for another nigga,” I said in a harsh whisper.
“Ducati please. You got some nerve expecting me to give a fuck when you got another fucking child. Fuck you,” she spat, a little too loud for my liking.
I looked over my shoulder. “Chill out. I don’t even know why I said shit to you anyway.”
“I don’t know neither.”
Instead of saying anything else, I walked out of the laundry room with a frown.
Shit was still bad with us. Felt like it would be like that for the rest of my life.
It was sad as hell, low key. We had a ton of history.
We had witnessed each other at damn near every stage of our lives.
Mahogany was my best friend. And I was losing that too. I hated what life had done to us.
On my way to the man-cave my phone rang. It was my ma. She had Diary.
“Yeah ma,” I answered. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah. You know she fitting in just right,” she said. “I’m just calling to make sure you know what you doin.”
I laughed, shaking my head as I jogged down the stairs. “I never know what I’m doing,” I said. “But I’m doing it anyway. Shit gon fall however it’s going to fall. I’m hoping for the best.”
“Fuck hope—pray.”
“You pray. God ain’t been fucking with me lately,” I jokingly said.
I didn’t want to pray. Prayer got me where I was at.
I begged God to help me with my marriage, and I found her throwing it back for another nigga.
I was good on prayer. For a while. I felt like God wasn’t listening to me because I was cursed.
Had to be. All the shit that’s happened over the past couple of months told me so.
I couldn’t catch a break. Felt like any time I went to God, he laughed and said ‘alright nigga, let me give you the opposite of what you’re looking for just to teach your ass a lesson.
I’m not fuckin’ with you’. Was a little blasphemous but that’s how I felt.
Today, after I got the key to the condo and picked my new truck up, I was showing it to the kids.
All of them. Not just the fantastic four.
I was showing Diary too. With them. I was telling them about her.
Introducing them. I didn’t know what to expect.
Didn’t know how shit would go but I knew it was time.
I was done running away from the truth. I was done hiding shit.
I just wanted to live life with ease, free from secrets and lies. For real this time.
“I’m always praying for you. How you think they gone take it?”
“I don’t know. I been trying not to think about it, to be honest,” I said as I grabbed something to wear, preparing to shower.
“Yeah… well you know I’m here for as much support as possible,” moms reassured.
I told her I appreciated her and would see her later.
“This is nice dad,” said Aubry, walking around the empty condo. The only thing I got before bringing them was a set of barstools from Walmart and tissue in case either of them had to use the bathroom.
I nodded. “Thanks, Bry. I think so too.”
“We get our own rooms?” she asked, looking around.
“We’ll talk about rooms later,” I said, with my hands in my pockets.
With that, they ran off and I stood in the kitchen area, waiting for them to finish checking the crib out.
I paced a little, head swimming with thoughts of this transition.
My heart raced every time I thought about my new life.
I shook my head, looked up, and took a deep breath.
I could do this. I told myself that every day, all day.
It was hard though, trying to convince myself about something I wasn’t sure of.
I didn’t know if I could do it for real or not.
I was very uncomfortable with my circumstances.
Grateful to have found a crib so fast but intimidated by how fast things were moving.
And things were moving fast as hell. Tomorrow, DTE and Consumers Energy were switching the services over to my name and I had to pick my Wi-Fi equipment up later.
Sometime during the week, I was going shopping.
Had to furnish the crib. I had no idea where to start, so moms and Amber were going with me.
I had a lot of shit to get. Beds, TVs, couches, dishes…
everything. I was overwhelmed as hell. Thank God I had moms support.
“Come downstairs for me y’all!” I yelled, standing at the bottom of the stairs once I noticed my ma pull up in front of the condo.
Swallowing, I walked away and stood at the kitchen island. Tossing my head back, I sighed and placed my hands flat on the countertop.
I looked up at the ceiling at the sound of footsteps growing louder.
“No! I want the bedroom with the bigger closet!” Honesty yelled.
“What do you need with a big closet? It’s mine," Aubry shot back.
Neither of them was getting the bedroom with the bigger closet—Diary was. She was moving in with me and since she’d be here the most, she was getting the bigger room with the most space.
“Hey! Hey! Didn’t I say we would talk about rooms later?” I said.
“Okay,” said Honesty with a somber expression on her face.
Aubry leaned on the island. “Alright, daddy. I’m just saying. I need the bigger closet. I have more stuff.”
“You’re not even going to be here, ugly! You're going to school!"
“You heard what I said,” Aubry said, rolling her eyes.
“Nah for real, dead the conversation. I need y’all to listen to me,” I said with a swallow. My heart raced as I thought about what I was getting ready to do.
Gabe sat at the island; arms crossed over his chest. Sparkle was busy running around. Aubry and Honesty gave each other dirty looks. Before beginning, I walked off and picked Sparkle up to calm her down.
“So,” I said. “I haven’t been completely honest about the divorce.”
“Duh,” mumbled Aubry.
I cut my eyes at her. “Be quiet and let me talk.”
Gabe took a deep breath and ran his hand over the top of his head. He was the only one out of the bunch that knew I cheated.
“I wasn’t the best husband to your mother,” I said before chewing on my bottom lip.
Honesty frowned. “What you mean, daddy?”
“I mean, I wasn’t the best husband. I made a lot of mistakes and—
“Dad just tell them,” Gabe interrupted with a deep breath.
“I wish y’all would shut up and let me talk,” I said through a sigh, as my nerves started to build more.
I could hear a car door close, letting me know ma had gotten out of the car.
I looked over at the windows and shook my head.
Fuck. I should have told her I would text when I was ready for her to come in.
Glancing over at my phone, I said, “Honesty, hand me my—
The doorbell ringing cut me off guard.
“Fuck it,” I mumbled. “Look... I made a lot of mistakes growing up. I mean, not growing up. I—
“Dad cheated,” Gabe interrupted, blurting it out like he was crazy.
Aubry frowned. “What?”
“You cheated on mom?” Honesty yelled, stunned.
I tossed my head back with annoyance and stared over at Gabe like he’d lost his mind. “Why you just do that?”
He shrugged. “I was helping.”
“That didn't—
“You cheated on my mama? What?” Aubry asked in disbelief. “Why would you cheat on my mama? What's wrong with you? What is wrong with men? I can’t—what! You cheated!? I’ve been mad at her and you... Oh my God.”
“Cheated?” Sparkle said. “Ohhhh. Ms. Taylor said cheating is baaaad. You cheated daddy.” she giggled. “I’m telling Ms. Taylor.”
The doorbell rang again and my phone started to go off.
I was instantly overstimulated. Had four kids in my ear about cheating on their mother, my momma trying to get in, and whoever calling my phone.
I didn’t know what to do. So instead of doing anything, I just stood there, letting it all happen.
Aubry kept going on and on about me cheating on her mother.
She mentioned never trusting men and how they all were dogs.
Said she couldn’t believe her daddy was ‘one of them’.
Eventually she got up from the barstool with her phone in her hand, saying she was calling her mother.
Honesty cried. Sat there in silence crying, looking over at me with the saddest expression ever on her face.
Gabe was stoic. Arms crossed over his chest, glowering at me, shaking his head.
Sparkle didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t understand the severity of ‘daddy cheating on momma’ so she was in her own little world.
The phone stopped ringing and moms started to bang on the door.
“Aubry! Sit down! And get off the phone!”
She sucked her teeth. “Man what? I’m callin’ my momma—“
“No the fuck you ain’t! Call her later! I’m not done talkin to y’all.”
“Who is that at the door?” Gabe asked, turning around.
Moms stopped banging and my phone started to ring again. It was her. Had to be her. I needed to get some order in this muthafucka before I opened up for her. I didn’t want to just spring Diary on them without telling them first.
“Hey ma. Why you ain’t tell—“
Before she could say another word, I put Sparkle down and was on her, snatching her phone from her.
I put it to my ear and told Mahogany that Aubry would call her back in a minute.
After hanging up, I stuffed the phone in my pocket and pointed towards the island at one of the barstools, telling Aubry to sit down.
She huffed, rolled her eyes, and pouted but she sat her ass down.
Once she was seated, I placed my hands flat on the island and took a deep breath. “What I did happened years ago,” I started. “Ain't like I cheated on your momma a couple days or weeks ago.”