Chapter Fifteen
For a long time Amelie did not speak. She felt tainted by the trip to the prison and wished she could take a bath to scrub herself clean.
‘I am sorry for what I said,’ Will said as they pulled away from the busiest part of London and made their way north through the outskirts. ‘I vowed to myself that I would keep silent. He is not my relative, not any of my concern; I know that.’
‘I do not blame you; he is infuriating,’ Amelie said with a half-smile.
‘He is much more than infuriating. I think he is one of the most self-centred, selfish men I have ever met. How could he not be concerned about your welfare? About the health of his other children?’
‘I am sorry I took you there. I do not know what possessed me to do so. You did not need to see that.’ Amelie had wanted him to see she had not been deceiving him about her father.
Although not dead, he was completely indisposed, unable to help her or her family in any way.
Yet she should just have told him the truth, not put him through the ordeal of traipsing through the most notorious debtor’s prison in London.
‘You do not need to apologise for that.’
The line between generous master and servant had been crossed a long way back; perhaps that was the problem.
Will had been so good with her sisters and brother, making them feel at ease before sweeping them up into his protection and arranging the most nurturing and safe place for them to stay.
Now she felt ridiculous for doubting him.
She’d thought by taking him to the Fleet she might shock him, push him away, saving her heartbreak later when he did realise the whole truth of her family’s shame.
But he was only sympathetic, not judgmental.
She should have known how he would respond—he had shown her only generosity and goodness these last few days.
A bubble of laughter rose inside her and Amelie felt unable to control it. The whole situation was ridiculous. She had just taken a duke, a man with connections to the most powerful people in England, into the Fleet prison. He had seen the very worst of her situation and reacted only with kindness.
‘I do not understand why you have been so good to me,’ she said quietly, looking up to hold his eye. ‘You have done more for me these past three days than anyone else has offered in the last terrible two years.’
‘I confess, never before have I become so involved in the life of someone who works for me.’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘But what sort of man would I be if I learned of your misfortune and stood by and did nothing?’
‘Most people would have done exactly that.’
She searched his face, wondering if she had just been lucky to land in the household of such a good and noble man.
It felt more than that. There was this inevitable pull, a feeling that their lives were somehow tied together, and that with each passing day they became more and more entangled.
It was a ridiculous notion, but she could not shake it.
‘Thank you,’ she said, holding his gaze. ‘I will be forever in your debt for what you did for Marie and Harriet and Charles.’
‘They are lovely children who I think will thrive in Mrs Hampton’s care. When we return in a month, I think you will see a difference.’
‘I could see a difference in just two days.’
She felt a swell of gratitude and appreciation for the man sitting across from her.
She’d have a lot of thinking to do, these next few weeks.
Although he had not come out and declared a time period, Amelie knew the Duke could not go on paying for her family’s living situation indefinitely.
What he had done was given her some breathing room, some time in which she would not have to worry about them or their health, and really focus on how best to support them for the next few years. It was a wonderful gift.
Their eyes met across the carriage, and this time Amelie could not look away.
There was the same desire that had almost built to a crescendo when they’d been in Grantchester, but there was now something more too.
The Duke no longer seemed aloof or formal.
Despite his privilege and his wealth, he was likely the most considerate person she had ever met.
His actions had only deepened the attraction she felt, so now, when she had the urge to kiss him, it wasn’t just physical desire; it was an appeal on so many different levels.
He must have seen something in her eyes for he leaned forward in his seat, their knees brushing together.
Amelie forced herself to pause, to consider the consequences of what felt like the inevitable.
She wasn’t sure she would be able to stop if she kissed him here in the carriage.
She would give her virtue to a man she cared for deeply, but who could never offer her a future.
They might have a few wonderful weeks together, but then he would return to his world and she to hers.
At best, only she would know what she had done; at worst, she would heap further shame on her family name and become a complete outcast, vilified by society.
She knew all of this, but she felt powerless to resist. A kiss seemed inevitable, and her mind was already trying to rationalise why it would not all be a complete disaster.
She wanted Will more than she had ever wanted anything, enough for her to push her reservations to the side, even if only temporarily.
‘Amelie,’ he murmured, searching her face.
‘I do not know why you have helped me so.’
‘Surely it is obvious?’ he said.
She shook her head.
‘I care for you,’ he said simply. ‘I know we have no future, that it is the most ill-advised entanglement there could be, but the truth is I care for you. It hurts me to see you upset. I have this urge to fix it.’
‘You hardly know me.’ In some ways it was true, but despite their short acquaintance and the difference in their social status Amelie sometimes felt that he knew her better than anyone else in the world.
‘I know you, Amelie,’ he said, so quietly it was almost a whisper. ‘I see you.’
At those words, Amelie felt a rush of desire and craving so strong, it was impossible to ignore.
She knew she would have to be the one to initiate something between them.
For Will, the power imbalance was so great that he would worry that he was taking advantage of her.
It was noble, and she would expect nothing less from him, given the kind of man she now knew him to be.
How bad could one moment of passion be? Surely no one would ever know, and they could return to contented companionship after they had satisfied their overwhelming desire? Even as she told herself this, Amelie knew it was a lie, yet it was a lie she was desperate to believe.
She slipped from her seat and joined him on his side, the rocking of the carriage throwing her onto him for a moment. This close, she could smell his intoxicating scent. She did not know what cologne water he used but it smelled delicious, subtle, deep and woody; it made her want to lean in closer.
‘You do not owe me anything, Amelie,’ he said, a note of pain in his voice. She could tellhe did not want her to feel beholden to him, to kiss him only because she thought she owed him.
‘I do,’ she said with a little smile. ‘But that is not what this is about.’ She slowly leaned in closer, feeling the warmth of his body. ‘This is what I want, and I think you want the same.’
Ever so gently, she brushed her lips against his, revelling in the sweet taste of him.
She was taken back to the night in the garden, when she had sunk into his arms, giving herself fully to that moment.
She wanted that again, to allow herself to think of nothing but physical pleasure, nothing but her own desires.
‘You do not know what you do to me, Amelie,’ he murmured in her ear before leaning forward and kissing her hard and deeply.
She felt as though she were floating, weightless, unburdened, and as he laced his hands through her hair Amelie heard herself let out a little sigh of contentment.
This was what she had been dreaming of these last few weeks: pure pleasure; giving in to her desires, allowing herself to forget all the reasons she should not act on her yearning and just do what made her happy in the moment.
Will’s hands dropped from her hair to her waist and he pulled her up onto his lap. She sat straddling him, her skirts caught up in the middle. It was a scandalous position, but Amelie did not care, and all thoughts of scandal fled as he leaned in again and kissed her.
‘Your skin is impossibly soft,’ he murmured as he brushed his lips over her cheek and down to her neck.
Amelie shivered in anticipation, unable to think of anything but where his lips would move next, arching her neck to give him full, unfettered access.
Slowly, as if he were savouring every moment, he trailed downwards until he came to the high collar of her dress that fastened at the base of her neck.
For a moment he pulled away, regarding the dress with a critical eye.
‘This is one of the ugliest dresses I have ever seen, but I do not think I have noticed, because you are always the one wearing it.’
‘It’s not ugly, just practical.’ It was ugly. Plain, grey and without much shape, it was designed to hide the body underneath rather than accentuate it.
His fingers worked deftly at the fastenings at the back of the dress, loosening it enough to allow his fingertips access to the skin below.
Amelie wanted to rip the garment off, to tear the fabric at the seams, but it was the only dress she owned, and even in the heat of her desire she could not be completely reckless.
With ease he spun her round on his lap, pausing to kiss the exposed nape of her neck, making her hot with anticipation. And then the dress was loosened, falling down around her shoulders before he gripped hold of the material and lifted it over her head.
The curtains on the carriage were closed, but they were still in the outskirts of London, and Amelie felt a thrill run through her at being so exposed. No one could see them, but there were people walking in the street outside as she sat on Will’s lap clad only in her undergarments.
‘We can stop,’ he said, looking up into her eyes. She saw the desire there, but concern too.
‘I don’t want to stop.’ Her voice was quiet but resolute. She knew exactly where this was leading to; she was not na?ve. If they continued down this path, she would give away her virtue, but even this thought was not enough to make her pause.
Will let out a groan that sounded as if it came from his very core and lifted his hands to her waist. Even through the layers of her chemise and petticoats, she could feel the heat of his skin, and she craved more.
He unlaced her chemise, allowing the front to fall open, and then lowered his mouth to her skin.
Starting at the base of her throat, he kissed her again and again, moving downwards, agonisingly slowly.
Amelie felt the wonderful torture of anticipation as his lips dipped lower and lower.
She leaned back slightly, yearning for his touch, desperate to feel his touch on her breasts.
‘I think this needs to come off,’ he said, gripping the material of her chemise and lifting it over her head before she could even start to respond.
Amelie gasped as his hands came up to her breasts, caressing her gently, taking his time but whipping her up into a frenzy all the same.
His touch was almost rhythmic, and Amelie found her hips moving back and forth in time to his caresses.
She could feel his hardness beneath her, constrained at the moment, and her hand moved down to touch him through his trousers.
‘I think you have bewitched me,’ Will said, pressing up into her, making her feel an ache deep inside that begged to be satisfied.
He quickly took off her petticoats, lifting them over her head and discarding them on the other side of the carriage.
Amelie felt that same illicit thrill she had felt a few moments earlier, revelling in his gaze, but all was forgotten as he pulled her back to him, his fingers reaching for her most private place.
The next minutes were a blur of pleasure as Will touched and caressed her, the tension building deep inside. Amelie closed her eyes and let go, losing herself to Will’s touch. She felt something building, something wonderful, her whole body tensing as the pleasure ripped through her.
Before she could regain any sense of control she felt Will’s hardness pressing against her again, and she fumbled to release his manhood from his trousers.
Then he was inside her, moving slowly at first, letting her adjust to his size.
Amelie felt more complete than she had ever felt before, and as he thrust into her she moved instinctively in rhythm.
Again and again their bodies came together until she felt that wonderful tension building deep inside and the release that followed.
Will tensed too, groaning as he came inside her.
Amelie collapsed forward, unable to move, her body pressed against Will’s, and for a long time they sat like that, unmoving.