Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
His eyes searched hers. ‘Yes, you are right. And that responsibility, like so many others, has always weighed heavily on me. I should have seen how perfect you were, Amelie, not dismissed you.’ He reached out and took her hand and Amelie felt the heat of his skin on hers.
It was impossible not to react to him, not to think of how he had touched her a few weeks earlier.
‘Most of all, I am sorry I let you tell me you loved me and didn’t react wholly and entirely positively.
To have your love…that would be the greatest gift in the world. ’
Amelie shifted. She had thought he was here from some sense of guilt.
Will was a good man, even if their parting had not been on the best terms. He would have felt concern for her, a need to satisfy himself that she was going to survive.
There were the children to think about too, the family that he had helped to rescue from Mrs Creedy and for whom he would feel some responsibility.
Yet she wondered if there was more than that.
His apologies so far were sincere and heartfelt, and she did believe them, but now he was talking about love.
Surely he could not think they could ever share anything again?
‘I love you too, Amelie. I confess I was not brave enough to say it earlier, but I have felt this way for some time. Your sweetness and care pierced through the protective shell I had built around myself and banished the loneliness I had felt for so long. I will forever be grateful of that. I love your goodness, your humour, your generosity, your protectiveness. When I am with you, I want to strive to be better, to be more like you.’
Amelie felt the words pulse and swell inside her. When she had told him she loved him and received no words of love in return it was as if he had cut her heart in two. Now he was here, saying he loved her, telling her he’d loved her all along.
‘I made so many mistakes these last few months, but not telling you how much I love you, how much you mean to me, was the biggest.’ He paused and took a ragged breath in. ‘I love you, Amelie, and I want to spend my life with you.’
‘We cannot,’ she said quickly. She did not want to get her hopes up only to have them dashed when he proposed some scheme to set her up as his mistress somewhere, hidden from the world.
‘I understand your reluctance; I deserve that, but please at least hear what I have to say.’
She gave a short, sharp nod, allowing him to continue. Her whole body was tense, her jaw aching from being held clenched. Will had told her he loved her, that he wanted to spend his life with her, yet she could not allow him back close to her heart—he had almost destroyed it last time.
‘I want to marry you, Amelie. I want to stand in a church and say my vows for all the world to hear. I want it to be a grand public occasion so everyone can see the woman I have chosen for my duchess.’
‘You cannot marry me…’
‘I can. I am unfettered. I have no legal ties to anyone else. I can marry whoever I wish, and my wish is to marry you.’
‘People would gossip.’
‘Let them. Let them gossip and judge. They may doubt us for the first year or even two, but when they see what strength you bring, what kindness, slowly people will forget the things they thought held you apart. And if they don’t? We will have each other.’
‘You cannot risk that. Your position in parliament, the importance of the family name, all of it could be jeopardised by marrying the wrong person.’
‘I visited my sister’s grave a few weeks ago, when I was hurting and unsure.
It helped to clear my head. I came away from there thinking about what sort of people I want my children to be: honest, kind, strong.
I want them to do the right thing even when it is the hard choice.
If I want children like that, I need to have a wife who shares those values.
You are the strongest woman I know, Amelie, but the hard times you have been through have not made you bitter or selfish.
They have shaped you into the most wonderful young woman who would take any job, work herself to the bone, to look after her family and then spend her very last penny on the father that caused all the trouble. ’
He was looking at her with warmth and admiration and Amelie felt something shift inside her.
She had doubted his words at first, but now she thought of all the times he had been there for her.
One mistake at the end of their relationship did not negate all the good parts.
He had seen her distress when her brother and sisters had still been with Mrs Creedy and swept them up into his protection.
He had reprimanded her father when the old man had refused to see how selfish he was being.
He had wanted to share all aspects of his life with her—sneaking her into the library where he spent his time working and taking her to the masked ball.
‘I love you, Amelie. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot promise perfection—I do not want to deceive you that there will be people who object to our marriage, and do not hide the fact, but I will fight to correct them until my very last breath. I cannot imagine a life without you by my side.’ His eyes searched hers before he continued, as if looking for a clue, something that might help with his next words.
‘Amelie Somersham, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
Amelie felt her heart swell with love. It was what she had wanted ever since she had realised she was falling for Will, but she hadn’t dared to dream it was possible.
He was right: if she agreed it would not altogether be easy.
People would whisper about the circumstances of their meeting, her lowly origins and the scandal in her family.
But that would be an acceptable price to pay if it meant she could walk out in the open, arm in arm with Will.
‘I love you,’ she said, unable to keep the smile from her lips. ‘And I will not pretend you did not hurt me, but I do understand the pressure you were under, the generations of expectations weighing down on you.’
‘The anticipation is killing me, Amelie. Will you marry me?’
‘Yes,’ she said, unable to stop the smile spreading across her face. ‘Yes, yes, yes.’
He leaned forward, looping an arm around her waist and pulling her onto his lap. For a moment it felt as if they were the only people in the world.
Then there was a scream from the other side of the garden. They sprung apart, panicked.
‘Will is kissing Amelie!’ Harriet said, her eyes shining with excitement. ‘It is like something out of a story.’ She grabbed hold of Marie’s arms and shook her.
Next to them Charles pulled a disgusted face and raised a hand close to his face, just in case he had to cover his eyes quickly.
‘Stop shaking me,’ Marie said, pulling herself away from her younger sister. ‘Did he kiss you, Amelie?’ Her tone was part-disbelieving, part-accusing.
Amelie stood, wondering how to tell her siblings that she was engaged. She did not want them to feel she was leaving them behind; they had suffered so much already. Will stood beside her, taking her hand and giving it a little squeeze.
‘May I?’ he asked.
She inclined her head, wondering what he might say.
‘There is a question I want to ask you all, and it is important that you think about it carefully.’
Amelie looked at him with puzzlement.
‘I have asked your sister to marry me and she has said yes, but it is important to both of us that you are all happy too. I wonder if you would consider coming to live at Ashmead Hall? It is a beautiful house set in extensive grounds. There are so many places to hide and play. Amelie would be there with you all the time. There would be no need to ever be separated from her again.’
Amelie felt the tears prick her eyes. He understood how very miserable the three children had been, not having a permanent home and having to spend their time with strangers.
By settling them at Ashmead Hall they would have somewhere to call home, somewhere permanent.
And he had reassured them that he would not take Amelie from them.
‘Yes!’ Harriet cried, running forward and throwing her arms around Amelie. Charles quickly followed, tugging at Will’s arm and asking to be picked up. Only Marie was left standing facing them.
‘It will be your home,’ Amelie said, ‘A proper home. No more moving around.’
‘And if you would like to continue your lessons, we can hire a governess,’ Will said.
There was a slight flicker in Marie’s eyes. The idea of a governess had got her attention.
‘You will not go off and leave us?’ Marie asked, her voice quiet.
‘No. Never,’ Amelie promised.
Marie hesitated a moment longer and then flung herself towards them, embracing Amelie with a tight squeeze.
Amelie closed her eyes and felt the happiness suffuse through her. All she had dared to hope for a few months earlier was a safe place for her siblings. Now she would have that and so much more: a home, a future, a man who loved her. Who could want more than that?