Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
The Duke of Southam was not accustomed to losing control of himself.
He should have felt sated. Instead, his body had developed wishes of its own. Not those kinds of wishes, although he would be lying if he said they vanished entirely… but rather held aback before a more urgent, stunning need for May.
He lasted the remainder of the day upon their return without tending to her or clinging to her side. He thought it would be a disservice. A protection. Elias wondered if he’d been a momentous fool instead.
The joy of being entwined in her limbs, moving with her, giving her pleasure and taking it himself… it lingered within him. And a small voice inside him kept asking for more, anyway.
Even the next day, he ached to hold her. To ask her how she slept. To give her cause to smile.
Those feelings echoed with a familiarity he’d gone through pains to forget.
He couldn’t have fallen in love. Lust, yes, fine, but love…? One did not simply just fall so hard, so fast.
He should know. Last time he was in love, he was a college man, with a tenuous grasp on responsibility and a careless abandon in his manner. He loved freely, without second thought, as young men are prone to do. In other words, he used to be wild; he’d since worked hard to tame himself.
But this? This was nothing like that. This was worse: he was willingly choosing to step into the abyss.
His old impulses roared to life with a terrifying magnitude, but he was no longer that same thoughtless boy.
If he let himself loose now, as he was desperate to, he would not be able to keep his promises.
Not those he made to himself, but most importantly…
Elias vowed to protect May’s honor.
At home, he had to act as if nothing occurred between them.
Though she was no cousin of his, the guise he had crafted for his accomplice could withstand no cracks.
Yet what should have been an easy lie turned into pure torture.
His eyes sought her out upon entering every room.
His body tensed at the mere sound of her name.
He was used to acting aloof. Where was the emotional detachment he had so carefully cultivated for years?
His equilibrium? May had shattered it whole.
That would not do. Elias could not sit through another day of silence. He had to see her. It took mountains and mountains of paperwork to distract him until it was an acceptable hour to seek her out. But he did not count on getting caught as soon as he walked out of his study.
Hannah appeared outside his door like some sort of tracker hound.
“We are going for a picnic.” His sister’s hand closed in out of nowhere, dragging him with the determination granted only to younger siblings set on annoying the elder ones.
Picnic? That sounded like the last thing he wanted to do.
“After that dinner party, you cannot say no.” His sister eyed him expectantly. “We’ve done it your way. Can’t I have a say in how my marriage is to be marked?”
Elias resisted the urge to rub his forehead.
What was meant to be a celebration of his sister on the cusp of a new life had turned into a stressful night, despite everyone’s best efforts.
In the end, she was right. Everything he’d tried so far wasn’t working.
He hadn’t caught Lord Spencer at anything underhanded, and the time he had until Hannah was out of his house for good, along with May, was rapidly coming to an end.
“Is everyone on board with this plan?”
“Of course.” There was no dampening her spirits. “Lady May looked positively animated.”
Did she, indeed?
“She is already in the carriage. Let’s not keep everyone waiting.”
That sister of his, she trapped him so skillfully.
As he was pushed out of the house and toward the carriage, Elias stifled a sigh.
This was not how he imagined seeing May for the first time after their intoxicating tryst. He wanted to see May alone, with every privacy afforded.
Not sandwiched between his sister and her ill-advised choice of suitor.
It was just as awkward as expected. Not one person made eye contact as they took their spots.
Elias thanked the years of building up his reputation for terseness as he refused to look away from the window.
His sister left him to share the bench with Lord Spencer, as the most appropriate arrangement, but that only irritated Elias further.
If she wanted her intended so much, then she should have sat with him, leaving May open for Elias.
Was he not good enough to keep her company?
His own irrationality was a shocking discovery.
But before he could make peace with this change of character, they were on the park grounds.
Servants bustled around, arranging them by the lakeside with cloths, chairs, and blankets.
The foursome sat on the covered grass, surrounded by wicker baskets stuffed to burst. The spread before them was lavishly arranged with wine, fruit, and cheeses.
Elias reached for the newspapers, instead, as if the printed daily could distract him from this ridiculous reality.
He found that to work, in a way. As he angled his newspaper, his new line of sight afforded a direct view of May, who had gingerly picked up a cherry and placed it in her mouth.
Her eyes fluttered closed as she ate. Elias’s fingers twitched as he watched.
Those soft pink lips of hers demanded to be kissed.
Appreciated. Treasured, exclusively by him.
His companions carried on, blithely unaware of Elias’s covert observation.
Lord Spencer asked Lady May a friendly question, and, suddenly, it was as if a snake coiled about Elias’s abdomen.
Why was the man looking at her now, of all times?
And if Elias’s plan was finally working, shouldn’t he be glad?
Elias tossed the newspaper aside.
What a fool. He really was in love.
“Brother…?”
Elias jerked. “Yes?”
“Shall we take the boats and have a race to the island?”
Elias pushed back his slipping glasses and looked in the direction Hannah pointed.
The lake on the banks of which they now rested was dotted with boats, surrounding an overgrown island at its very center.
Old willows hung over the water that casual visitors drifted past. It’s been a long time since he’d been here, but he still recalled how he’d taken his sister there on their quest to explore a jungle back when they were little. A devious thought sparked in him.
“Why not? I shall keep Lady May company. It is only fair that both teams should have the advantage of familiarity, do you not agree?”
“A splendid idea.”
Perhaps, he could get a moment alone with May after all.
May had other plans for the day. Plans that included luxuriating in the comfort of her enormous bed, pleasantly sore from yesterday’s exertions. Then, a leisurely trip to the library, where she could gather courage and decide on how to act in front of the man who had turned her world upside down.
She had not planned on being seized at the first opportunity by her lover’s sister to be whisked away to another session of playing pretend. Surprisingly, she had not had to play the role of the consummate seductress with Elias yesterday. For once, she had felt safe enough to just be herself.
Well, there was no chance of her doing that any longer.
Yet, despite being pinned beneath three pairs of eyes, May still could not help but sneak glances at the duke.
He had barely acknowledged her existence during the entire carriage ride.
Was he keeping up pretenses, or was he intending to draw a line and return to their purely professional relationship? She wished she knew for certain.
May absentmindedly indulged in the picnic spread.
When Lord Spencer asked her a question, May could barely gather her wits to conjure an answer.
Though he was meant to be the target of her attentions, it was as if her vision was narrowed by invisible blinders toward the one person who made her heart beat faster.
Elias, who was hidden from sight by a newspaper, cast it aside.
For the first time since yesterday, their eyes met, but May could not tell whether it was her own longing she saw reflected in his stormy eyes.
He’d vowed to guard her reputation, but perhaps it was just a neat way out of what was promising to be a very messy situation…. Well, if so, she should feel thankful to him. For allowing her to know, however briefly, what it was like to be his.
Lord have mercy, she wished she could know it again.
“I shall keep Lady May company.”
May blinked out of her thoughts to discover herself in the middle of an unfamiliar conversation. What had the duke volunteered himself to accompany her for?
“Dear cousin, are you up for a little boat race?” Lady Hannah asked.
“Worry not. I’ll make sure we win.” Had the Duke of Southam just winked at her?
“What utter nonsense. No, you shall not. Blake is a much better rower than you.”
“Oh, please,” Elias scoffed.
“May, who do you think shall be the winner? It must be Lord Spencer, surely?” teased Lady Hannah.
May felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She stared at the men, caught unprepared.
What did Elias want her to choose? Did he want her to take advantage of this opportunity to build a connection with her sister’s beau?
Her hands tightened into fists. Though Elias’s features betrayed nothing, the intensity of his stare confused her further.
Elias had volunteered to accompany her. That meant something. It had to.
“I believe His Grace will have the win.”
She was rewarded with a beaming smile that made her melt.
It was Lady Hannah’s turn to scoff. “We shall see about that.”
“Don’t wet your clothes, little sister.”
“Blake, you can do this, right?” Hannah whispered as they set about preparing for the start.
“Have faith, dearest. We shall triumph.”