Chapter Ten
“Where are we going?” Dade asked as they approached the gate of the Carlisle Barracks.
“I need to get a change of shoes,” Cliff said as he showed his ID.
Dade did as well, and soon they glided down the tree-lined streets past the headquarters and the Post Exchange to the base housing.
Dade had been here before, of course, but they didn’t spend much time on the base.
He always felt it was in part because that was where Cliff lived and worked, and Dade’s place was an escape.
He also figured Cliff wanted to remind him of the army as little as possible.
“Can I ask something? Doesn’t the XO position come with a bigger apartment?” Living quarters were assigned by need and by rank.
“It does. But a family was moving in about the same time I was relocating, and I told the quartermaster to assign them the larger accommodation. It’s just me, and I don’t need much space.”
Dade took his hand and kissed it lightly. Cliff was a good person, and he was coming to realize just how lucky he was to have him in his life.
“Look,” Dade said with a smile as flakes of snow drifted in the air. Like a switch had been thrown, it began snowing harder, the breeze blowing the flakes everywhere.
“It’s really pretty.” The snow continued for a few minutes and then slowed just as he reached his parking spot.
Cliff pulled in, and Dade got out and followed Cliff inside.
The furniture was nothing special, sort of military utilitarian, as was the rest of the apartment.
The only real character came from the pictures on the walls and the few sitting on the tables.
It always felt like Cliff could pack his life in four boxes and be ready to go in less than an hour.
But there were differences from the last time.
On the table beside the sofa was a framed selfie Cliff had taken of them when they’d gone hiking up at the dam.
He looked things over as Cliff went to the bedroom and then returned.
Dade sat down, and Cliff sat next to him. “Are we ready to go?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Look. I got a call at the office from your mother yesterday.”
Dade nodded. He should have expected something from her.
She was always the peacemaker, and it bothered her when he and his father fought.
“What does she want? I’m not ready to forgive my father.
I know it’s been two weeks, but what he did…
.” He had never thought of his father as homophobic, but maybe he just couldn’t stand to see Dade happy with another man.
Cliff had said that the transfer paperwork looked completely legit, but the signature was nothing more than an unidentifiable squiggle.
“He’s your father, and from what I understand, your mother has not made this time a piece of cake for him. I can just imagine your mother when she’s on a tear.”
“So let me guess. They’re coming here to talk to me.”
“Your mom asked if you all could meet here. On neutral ground, so to speak. I don’t know what’s going to come out of it, and if you don’t want to stay, then I’ll message her and tell her not to come.”
Dade leaned against Cliff. “I love that you want to try to help, but I don’t know if I’m ready to take him on again.
Everything is such a fight with him, because if I don’t, he’ll steamroll over me.
But I suppose if he has something to say, then I can hear him out.
” He tensed, and Cliff put his arm around his shoulders and held him.
“Making peace with him, at least on some level, is going to make you less stressed.” He met Cliff’s gaze and knew he was right, dammit.
“When will they be here?”
Cliff checked his phone. “About ten minutes.”
Dade huffed and figured he might as well get this over with. “If I want to go…?”
“Then we go. I know I helped set this up. But you’re still the one in control. When you say we leave, then you and I will usher them out, lock the door, and get in my truck to go to lunch. It’s that simple.” Cliff lightly touched his chin. “I’ve felt the tension rolling off you for days.”
“I know. But I’m still so angry with him.
” Dade shifted on the sofa so he faced Cliff.
“I know that you’re going to be transferred someday, and that I’m going to have a choice—be heartbroken if I let you leave without me or go with you.
And that was a choice I was willing to make when the time came.
Actually, it was a decision that I had hoped would make itself, between the two of us.
But my father doesn’t get to step in and make that choice for me, like he always tries to do.
” He felt the tension he thought he had under control boiling up again.
So maybe Cliff was right, and he needed to talk to his father and have this out so he could let it go.
A knock on the door made him jump slightly. Cliff slipped away and opened the door. Dade stood and greeted his mother with a hug before stepping back as his father came inside. He didn’t hug or even shake his hand. Instead, he held his gaze and refused to take a step back.
“Knock it off,” his mom told his father.
“Stop these power games. It’s what got you in the doghouse in the first place.
” She glared at his father, and he lowered his gaze.
“You two need to talk, and you….” She tapped his father on the shoulder.
“Need to get it through your head that Dade is his own man.”
“That’s all I ever wanted.”
“No. You want me to be your man. The person you want. You need to be the one in control, but you have none where I’m concerned. I will live my life and make my own decisions. If you can learn to accept that, then we can have a relationship, otherwise… I’ll just go my own way without you.”
“But….”
Dade drew himself taller. “I don’t want your life.
I never did. Yes, I’m dating Cliff, and I hope things work out between us.
I really do.” They shared a smile that Dade felt deep in his heart.
“And I know that dating Cliff and being in his life will mean that I will have decisions to make, but I’ll make them when the time comes. ”
His father huffed, and for the first time he could remember, Dade saw doubt in his eyes. His father had always made every decision with confidence and assurance. “That’s what I was doing. I was protecting you.”
Dade shook his head. “I don’t know what universe you’re living in where trying to force me to take a job I don’t want or using your influence to transfer my boyfriend is protecting me.”
“The military school has been there for a century and would have been a good home for you. You wanted roots, and they have deep ones. You would have had a sense of permanence. This school here will not have that.” Dade blinked, because by some bizarre twist of logic, it made sense.
“And transferring the major would keep you from getting hurt later.”
Dade scratched the back of his head. “Can’t you see that the issue with both of those is that you decided, without ever asking me what I wanted. You just decided.”
“It’s what I do.”
Dade smacked his father on the arm. “Not anymore. Not for me. And in case you forgot, you don’t do that for the army either.
You retired.” A picture of what was truly happening began to form in his mind.
“What you need to do is find somewhere that can use your talents. Work with some of the organizations in town, take Mom on a cruise and just have fun. Live the life you never could all those years because your job came first.”
“Yes,” his mom interjected. “When we get home, I’m booking a cruise for January, and I’m going to plan vacations to places I’ve always wanted to go. We’re going to have fun, and you are going to stop meddling in our children’s lives.”
Dade glared at his father. “What did you do?”
“Don’t worry, I put the brakes on his efforts to get Maria to move here with us.” She nudged the general with her elbow.
“I don’t know what it is you want from me,” he said softly.
Dade turned to Cliff because he suddenly found he was without the words he needed, and he hoped Cliff might help him.
“I think what Dade wants is for you to be his father, and maybe even his dad, and not the general.”
Dade nodded. “Yeah… what he said. I don’t need a general. What I do need is a dad, maybe a friend.” He met his father’s gaze as he nodded slowly. Dade couldn’t ask for much more than that. At least he seemed to have gotten his point across.
“Good. Now that you two seem to have figured some things out, we can go to lunch.” His mom took Cliff’s arm, and he led her outside.
Dade looked at his father. “We didn’t stand a chance, did we?”
His father actually smiled. “Nope. When your mother wants something, she usually gets it. Though in this case….”
“Yeah. Okay. Let’s go eat.” He could figure all of this out later.
And maybe he was getting what he always wanted.
It had been hard growing up with a father who was so busy all the time.
So maybe this was a chance for him and his father to actually have some sort of relationship.
He followed Cliff outside and closed the door to Cliff’s apartment. Then they met at The Hamilton downtown.
“It was really strange having a meal with my father and him not tell me what he wanted for me or how I should be living,” Dade said once they got back to his apartment. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him act this way.”
“That’s good, right?”
“Yeah. It’s good, and I want to thank you for setting this up.
It really helps. I don’t think my father and I are going to be best buddies any time soon, but if he stops interfering in my life, then maybe we can have some sort of relationship.
I think it’s going to be hard for him to just back away, though.
” He closed the door and took off his jacket.
Cliff tugged him into his arms, and Dade went easily.
“I have to ask. What if in six months…?” He paused, and Dade knew exactly what he was trying to say.
“I know. And I’m not opposed to moving with you.
” These were words he never expected he would be able to say.
“It just has to be my decision.” He hugged Cliff tighter.
“I know it will come eventually, and you make me happier than I’ve been in a long time.
I’m almost afraid to say what I feel.” He drew Cliff into a kiss that sent his head spinning.
“That’s okay.” Cliff grinned. “Because I love you too.” Dade let Cliff guide him toward the bedroom.
“And I intend to show you just how much.” His voice grew deeper as he slipped his hand under his shirt.
Dade quivered with the excitement he always felt the moment Cliff touched him, and he gasped softly.
This apartment, this town, even Guam—it didn’t really matter where he lived. He was coming to understand that with Cliff in his life, he could build a home just about anywhere, and that was what he really wanted.