28. Beckett
BECKETT
Lights cut across the living room as Sawyer pulled into the spot beside mine. Our matching pair looked so good. Even she couldn’t deny that when she saw them together. I think she liked her present a whole lot more than she was letting on.
My girl was stubborn like that.
I reached for the stereo remote, turning down my music and bracing my weight on the counter as she stepped inside.
Her hair was down, cascading over one shoulder as she used the wall as leverage to kick off her shoes.
When she looked up to find me watching her, she smiled and tucked the strands behind her ear.
“Hi,” I breathed, opening my arms as she padded toward me. “How was your day, sugar?”
“Long,” she said into my chest. “I’m so bored, Beckett. I was not meant to stare at a screen all day. How am I supposed to do this for nine more weeks?”
I laughed, pressing a kiss to her head. “You can do it. You’re strong.”
“I don’t want to be anymore,” she groaned, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’m tired.”
My hand trailed down her back. Having her in my arms after a very weird day was better than any sip of alcohol.
Beneath the hoppy scent clinging to her clothes, I could make out the faint hint of cherries near her temple.
My nose ran along the spot, searching for more of the sweet fruit that had become the object of my obsession since August.
“If you don’t want to work anymore—”
Sawyer pulled back and narrowed her gaze. “I didn’t say that.”
I rocked my head back and forth. “I mean, you kind of did. All you have to do is say the word.”
Even though she was as stubborn as a goddamn mule, that was all it would take for me to wipe away all debt and bills with the snap of my fingers.
She wouldn’t have to worry about anything other than safely growing our son.
I reminded her of that fact every single time she complained about being tired or bored with her new position.
And every time, she shot me down without so much as a second glance.
As much as I wished she would listen to me, I didn’t want to push her. There’d been too many changes in her life recently. I worried that one more might be what causes her to break. It was my job to keep her together as best as I could.
“Talking to me about this before you’ve fed me is criminal. You know I’d agree to almost anything if you put something in my mouth,” she mumbled.
I snorted, unable to stop my mind from going someplace it absolutely shouldn’t.
The only relief I’d found in the past seven months had been in my shower after a long day, or the occasional late-night urge when Sawyer came to me in my dreams. I hated feeling like a pervert lusting after her like that, but goddamn.
I couldn’t help it. And knowing she was carrying my child had only made things worse.
“Let’s get some food in you then,” I said. “Why don’t you take a seat, and I will fix you a plate?” Sawyer tried to look around me, but I blocked her view and pointed behind her. “Go.”
“Fine,” she sighed, trudging toward the table. The moment her ass landed in the chair, she crossed her arms and stared at me.
I shot her a wink, bypassing the stove and heading for the air fryer instead. Her gaze bore into my back as I plated our meal. “Close your eyes,” I called over my shoulder. “It’s a surprise.”
“Honestly, Beckett… I’m so hungry I could literally eat everything in that fridge right now if you let me.”
“It’ll be worth it. I promise.”
When I turned around, I expected her not to listen. Color me shocked when both her eyes were squeezed shut. I walked over, setting our plates down before taking my own seat. “Okay. You can look now.”
Sawyer slowly opened one eye and then the other, peering down at the plates in front of us. Then she looked at me, and the smile she gave nearly took me fucking out. “Are you serious right now?”
I nodded. The look on her face was infectious. “Only the best corndogs for my best girl. I will admit, I can’t take all the credit. Olivia did tell me which ones were your favorite. Apparently, brand matters.”
She laughed, reaching for the mustard I’d set out on the table. Then she placed a large blob on her plate and dipped the first corndog in. I watched carefully as she took her first bite. She closed her eyes, moaning the moment it landed on her tongue. “Oh my god. This is so good.”
“Really?” I asked, following suit. I didn’t really think you could fuck up frozen corndogs, but just in case you could, I was going to cover my ass here. “I’m glad. I’ve kind of perfected it over the past few months.”
“You… have?”
“Yeah, I met this amazing woman last year, and she kind of got me hooked on them,” I said, taking another bite. “I’ve made them at least once a week ever since.”
Sawyer nodded once, her eyes growing glassy. She opened her mouth, but quickly snapped it shut, rolling her lips together instead.
“Sawyer?” I asked. My hand found hers above the table and gave it a quick squeeze. “Are you—”
She was up and out of her seat before I could register what was happening.
I moved, adjusting my body so she could sit on my lap.
Her arms wound around my neck as she let out a soft sob.
I had no idea what I’d said or done to earn this kind of reaction, but I just held her as tightly as she clung to me.
When she pulled back, she offered me a watery smile.
“I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
And I don’t know what to do with that,” she confessed.
“It’s fucking terrifying. I keep waiting for the curtain to drop, wondering when all of this will be over.
But even then, I feel like I’d look out into the empty auditorium and see you sitting there in the front row with a fresh bouquet of flowers and that stupid, cocky grin of yours. ”
I brought my hand up between us, cupping her jaw.
“I know. I’ve been scared out of my mind for months now,” I chuckled, running my thumb across the freckles along her cheekbone.
Her skin was so soft beneath my touch. “I’m glad you’re finally catching up.
I’m not going anywhere. You and I are in this together. ”
Sawyer scanned my face carefully before her gaze stopped on my mouth. Neither one of us looked away as we leaned in slowly. The moment our lips touched, it was like a bomb detonated. The restraint we’d been using had blown away in the aftermath, leaving only our barest desires at our feet.
Her tongue slipped past my lips as my hands landed on her waist. It was a slightly awkward position, but I didn’t give a fuck as her fingers wound into my hair and tugged.
Sawyer panted as a low groan slipped free.
I couldn’t help myself. She tasted like she did that first night we let things go too far.
Sawyer’s hands clamored for the hem of my shirt. “Off,” she moaned into my mouth. “Get this off.”
I reached behind my neck, tugging my shirt off with one clean movement. Sawyer leaned back and scanned my chest with blatant appreciation. She brought her hand up, running her fingers along my shoulders and pecs, and down my abs. “Holy shit,” she breathed. “You should be illegal.”
Before I could say anything, her mouth was back on mine. Suddenly, we were making out like one of those horny couples at the back of movie theaters. Our dinner was forgotten as she ground down against my hard cock.
“Sawyer,” I gritted out. Every muscle strained as I fought the urge to take control. She moved away from my lips and down my neck, biting and sucking as she went. “Sugar—”
And that was when my fucking phone rang, breaking us out of the trance we found ourselves in.
She moved quickly, adjusting her shirt that’d ridden up as I let my head fall back against the chair.
Then I reached into my pocket and dug out my phone.
Tate’s picture flashed across the screen.
She was flipping off the camera in her cap and gown as I laughed harder than I had in a long time.
Her aunt had snapped the photo and sent it to me.
It was one of my favorites, but I really didn’t want to see it on my screen right now.
“Tate—”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIG brOTHER! I know I’m technically like two weeks late, but there is like, zero, cell service here, so…” I stopped listening to my sister’s ramble as Sawyer’s cup clattered to the ground. I glanced up, cringing as I met her wide, unbelieving gaze.
Fuck. There was no way this wasn’t going to end in tears.
“Anyway, tell me everything. What’d you do? Where’d you go? How’d you celebrate? We’ll have to celebrate when I get back.” It was hard to be mad at Tate’s over-the-top personality, but I didn’t have it in me to entertain her tonight. Especially not as Sawyer looked like she was about to cry.
“Tate? Hey, sorry. Can I call you back? I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”
Tate wasn’t fazed in the slightest. Nothing could ever rattle her. “Sure thing. Have a good night!”
I was out of my seat before I’d even pressed the stupid red button. “Sawyer…”
“When was it?” she asked, banding her arms over her chest.
“It’s just another day.”
“When. Was. It?”
I blew out a breath, lacing my hands behind my neck. “A couple of weeks ago, but—”
“The date,” she said, stressing the word.
I didn’t know why she wanted to go down this road, but I damn sure wasn’t going to piss her off any more than she already was. “The 17th.”
Sawyer scoffed, bringing her thumb to her mouth. I really needed to find one of those fidget things for her. “We spent your birthday at my doctor’s appointment. Cool, cool, cool.”
“I got the greatest gift I could ever ask for,” I said, reaching up and grabbing her hands.
She refused to look at me, blinking rapidly to stave off the tears.
I just needed her to listen to me. Really listen to what I was saying.
“We saw our little boy that day, sugar. That’s all I wanted.
All I needed. And I got to spend time with you. What more is there?”
“But I told you that I would throw you a real birthday party,” she said, voice breaking.
“We were supposed to stuff ourselves on store-bought cake and pizza that’d been left out in the sun for too long.
And a sketchy bounce house!” Her hands left mine to cover her face.
“I feel so bad I didn’t remember. Stupid pregnancy brain. I’m so sorry.”
“Baby…” I softened my voice, prying her hands away.
It would’ve been comical if she hadn’t looked so goddamn distraught.
I just wanted to find a way to make it better.
“It’s alright. I don’t know if you know this, but birthdays come around every year.
We can make the next one as big as you want, okay?
And by then, our son will be able to enjoy it too.
It seems unfair to deprive him of all the fun. ”
“Ugh. Why do you have to be so nice?” she cried.
I pulled her closer, cradling her head to my chest. “Because I really am the whole package. Looks, brains, emotional stability.” She pinched my side, breaking the tension with half-choked laughter. “You got lucky with me as a baby daddy.”
“I really did,” she said.
We stayed like that until Sawyer’s belly let out a low growl. I pressed a kiss to her forehead before letting her go. “Come on. Let’s eat.”
She nodded, taking a seat. The rest of our dinner was spent in companionable silence.
Making conversation right now would’ve been useless.
As she took her last bite, I grabbed both of our plates and put them in the sink.
I could wash them later after she left. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to just exist in this moment with her.
“Come with me,” I said, holding out my hand. She took it, watching me carefully as I helped her out of her seat. We walked out to the deck, leaving the sliding glass door open. I rarely used the lights strung around the porch, but tonight seemed like as good a night as any.
Grabbing a blanket, I flipped the switch and plopped down on the outdoor sofa.
Then, I opened my arms for her to slide in.
She did so wordlessly, leaning back against my bare chest. My hands landed on her stomach, cradling her bump.
Hers quickly followed as she settled against me.
I let my nose trail against her temple, finding the hint of cherries I’d discovered earlier.
That was how we stayed until the sun went down and the crickets sang their song to the moon peeking out through the pines. Sawyer had fallen asleep long ago, but I didn’t dare move. Not when she looked as peaceful as I felt.