14. Ava
Chapter Fourteen
Ava
Ties it all together
Fierce protectiveness rose in me so fast it startled me. I curled one hand into a loose fist, resting it on my hip even though I was still seated, feeling a little defiant.
“Anyone who says that is not a nice person,” I declared.
Tanner’s brows lifted, his lips twitching slightly at the corners.
“Seriously, who says that?”
“My ex,” he replied dryly.
I snorted, dropping my fist from my hip and wagging a finger at him. “Well, that is not okay.” I threw my hands in the air. “For crying out loud, you are a hotshot firefighter—total badass. You carry women off mountains. That’s sexy. That’s heroic. That’s very not boring, or beige, or whatever.”
“There is such a thing as beige,” Tanner said, deadpan. “It’s a color.”
I narrowed my eyes. “It’s the kind of color that ties everything together.”
He blinked, amused. “Ties everything together?”
“Like the rug in The Big Lebowski,” I added.
He chuckled. “The rug?”
“Exactly! It tied the whole room together. Beige is a versatile color.” I waved a hand airily. “Anyway. Fuck your ex.”
Tanner raised a brow. “Well, I’m not planning to do that.”
I burst out laughing. “Okay, good point.”
He laughed too, and for a second, the tension emanating from him eased before he sighed.
“We all have our baggage, huh?” I said softly.
He nodded, his gaze warm. “We do. I’m sorry for what you went through with your ex.”
I shook my head, still weary from it, with the sting of humiliation always there.
“He’s an idiot and an asshole,” Tanner said, with so much conviction I could have cried.
All my shattered insecurities loved it. “You know,” I said softly, “it’s such a mindfuck. My trust got blown to smithereens.”
He nodded solemnly. “I get it.”
“It’s not comfortable,” I added.
“That’s one way to put it.”
“I can’t even imagine trusting someone again.”
“No?” he asked, his voice dropping an octave.
I used to believe in the simple math of love: be good, give love, get it back. But that math didn’t work for me.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted. The words slipped out before I could stop them. “I thought if I did all the right things, it would work out. I thought if I loved hard enough and showed up, it would work out.” I took a breath. “Turns out, that wasn’t the equation.”
Silence fell between us. I looked up to find Tanner still watching me. There was no pity in his eyes, just understanding. He had a steady energy. Not boring, not even close.