42. Ava
Chapter Forty-Two
Ava
The exit interview
Standing in my parents’ kitchen, I bit back yet another sigh that wanted to escape. “Mom, you’ve got this.” I kept my tone light and encouraging.
Her worried gaze met mine. “I just… I can’t believe you’re moving.”
“Honestly, I can’t believe you’re surprised.
” I softened my voice. “I loved her as much as you did. I hate what happened to Charlotte.” I paused, shrugging a little because I didn’t know how else to frame it.
“Because of that, in some ways, I gave up my life too, to make it work. I don’t regret that for a second, but now I want to do this, so I am. ”
My mom blinked rapidly, but held my gaze.
“I’m going to keep sending you money,” I continued.
“You’re going to be fine. I will always be there for you.
I’ll fly down when you need something. But I need this.
I’ll just be a plane trip away.” I lifted my chin.
“I’m only twenty-eight. Hell, I married fucking Brad because it seemed like the best option, and I didn’t know any better.
I’m not keeping that job. I’ve already given my notice.
I’m here to box up my stuff and send what I need to Alaska. ”
“Don’t you want to just put your things in storage?” she asked softly.
“Actually, no.” I shifted gears before we spiraled back into her questioning my choices all over again. “You passed your certification, right?”
Her expression changed, and I could’ve sworn I saw a little flicker of pride in her gaze. “I did.”
“And?”
She hesitated before she let out a small breath. “You’re right.”
“About what?” I asked.
“I like the job.”
My smile was bittersweet. “I knew you would, Mom. You just needed to get your license.”
Life had swallowed my mom’s plan to finish her nursing degree sooner. I was thrilled she’d finally taken this step.
“It’s different,” she said, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I actually like it more than I expected. I guess because I’m not doing all the day-to-day care. I’m not emotionally attached the way I was taking care of your sister. I mean, I care about them,” she rushed to add.
“Of course you do. You’re a total softie.”
A watery laugh sputtered up. “We’re not going to need as much financial help. In fact, uh, we probably don’t need it.”
“No?”
She shook her head. “No. My job pays really well. I kind of can’t believe it.”
“Mom, nursing is a challenging job, but it’s a good job.”
“I know.” She reached for my hand.
“I’ll keep helping until you feel settled,” I said carefully. “I want you and Dad to come up for a visit in Alaska. I fell in love with it, and I think you will too.”
“Okay.”
“And can we not have this conversation again tomorrow?” I asked dryly.
She rolled her eyes. “Okay.”
Progress. That afternoon, when I knew Brad would be at work, I went over to the apartment I’d shared with him. Not ours anymore. The place he was probably already sharing with my ex-boss, who had finally acknowledged my notice.
Something about the whole situation felt off.
When I stopped by human resources earlier to handle my exit paperwork, she wasn’t there.
I was supposed to have an exit interview with her.
Instead, HR handled it. Surprising even myself, I told them about Brad and my ex-boss.
Not because I wanted them to lose their jobs, but because I wasn’t going to lie for them. Not anymore.
My gut told me whatever they had was going to burn itself out fast. As I left HR, my phone rang. Her name flashed across the screen. I hesitated before shrugging. I was so over Brad. The humiliation still burned, but I could handle it.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi, Ava.” Claire’s voice sounded tight and controlled. “I was wondering if you had a minute to talk.”
“I answered, so I do have a minute,” I replied evenly. “What can I do for you?”
The silence all but ticked like an old wall clock in an empty room. She finally spoke. “I hate that you’re going to go.”
“Well, I am,” I said calmly.
Another pause began to stretch, and she cleared her throat.
“What can I do for you?” I finally asked. “I just finished up with HR.”
“I’m aware.” Another throat clear, and another pause.
My stomach churned with that familiar, sour humiliation.
I was over Brad. I didn’t want him back, or the marriage back.
But the way it had all played out would probably always sting.
Walking around that office while people knew and I didn’t.
When it all came out, I’d felt like the only idiot in the room.
“I owe you an apology,” she finally said. Surprised, I stayed silent. “I shouldn’t have done what I did. I feel terrible. I wish I could rewind.”
“I don’t,” I said quickly.
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll always be embarrassed about what happened, but I never should have married Brad. I’m glad it’s over.”
She went completely quiet before the distinct sound of a sniffle came through the call. “Are you okay?” I asked.
I heard her draw in a deep breath. “I need to be honest,” she said shakily. “I didn’t realize what kind of person he was.”
I cut in. “He’s an asshole. I guess I’m glad you’re figuring that out now.”
“I’m going to break up with him,” she said.
“You are?” This surprised me. They’d been all cutesy when it first came out.
“I don’t even know how to explain this.” Her next breath sounded like an effort. “I thought I could be something to him that you weren’t. Now, I know how stupid that was.”
Tension bundled across my shoulders and at the base of my neck.
“He lied,” she continued. “He’s an asshole, and I had a mini stroke. A transient ischemic attack, specifically. Oh my God. I can’t even believe I’m telling you this.” Her tone was shocked.
“What?” I whispered.
“I’m not even forty,” she said, her voice cracking. “The doctor had to politely explain how dangerous it is to let someone choke you during sex.”
My entire body went still, and a chill ran through me.
“He told me you two used to fight about that. That you didn’t understand how it’s not a big deal. Now I’ll be monitored for this for the rest of my life and hope it never happens again. I’m on blood thinners, for fuck’s sake.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said finally.
“You don’t owe me an apology.”
“I’m apologizing because I’m sad that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that,” I said flatly. “Ever.”
“Obviously, I understand why you’re leaving the job, but you’re very good at your job,” she said.
“I can’t work there.” Pausing, I took a shaky breath, trying to gather myself. “Have you told him?” I asked quietly.
“He won’t believe it. He’ll chalk it up to something else.”
I knew she was correct. “Well,” I said, a familiar bitterness lacing my words, “he always said I was the uptight one.”
“You’re not, and you never were.” She let out a hollow laugh. “This has been a lesson I needed to learn.”
“You didn’t deserve it,” I said firmly.
“If you ever need a reference, I’ll give you a good one,” she said. “Your new boss already told me what a fool I am.”
Despite everything and the awkward sadness of this conversation, a laugh bubbled up. “She did?”
“She waited to call me until after you signed your contract. She said you were amazing, and they couldn’t wait to have you. I’m glad you have that job.”
“I never talked about Alaska with you,” I said.
“I heard about how much you loved it around the office. Good for you.”
“Thank you.”
After one more round of polite well-wishing, we ended the call.
I sat there in my rental car, the shock of the revelations from that call echoing through me.
My thoughts spun back to all the arguments with Brad, all the times I had stood my ground and insisted I didn’t enjoy being choked.
All the times he had tried to make me feel crazy for saying no.
Sadness for Claire rolled through me in a wave.
I was naive when I married him. But some tiny instinct inside me had known something wasn’t right about his demands, and I had held the line on that one thing. Thank goodness. “Wow,” I whispered.
I didn’t miss him, not even a little. I never would. I wished I’d known better before wasting so much time. But it had unfolded the way it had, and here I was.
My thoughts slid to Tanner, and to the way Laney’s words had lodged in my thoughts like a pebble in my shoe—small, irritating, and persistent. Maybe he was reconsidering. Maybe they were meant to work it out. Maybe I was the temporary one. My phone buzzed.
Josie: How’s it going?
Me: Good. Boxes should ship tomorrow.
Josie: Do you have a flight home yet?
Me: Not reserved yet. I will soon. I promise I’ll text you.
Josie: Have you heard from Tanner?
Me: Not since he texted when they landed.
I had been wondering why he hadn’t texted anymore since then. I’d made myself send the cheerful welcome text, but then my insecurity wouldn’t shut up.
Josie: I’m sure you’ll hear more from him soon. Can’t wait for you to get back. P.S. Everything you’re doing is amazing.
I smiled faintly. Work I could handle. Moving a few thousand miles was stressful but manageable. But I felt like my heart was constructed out of thin ice at the moment.
I reminded myself, for what felt like the hundredth time, that I wasn’t moving to Alaska for Tanner. I was doing this for me. Even if my heart felt a little cracked. Even if doubt kept whispering, maybe.