47. Tanner
Chapter Forty-Seven
Tanner
Right where I belong
The relief my nervous system felt at being back in Ava’s presence was almost impossible for my brain to compute. I loved her sharp, bright, sassy spirit. The way she tried to hide her vulnerability behind humor. And, of course, how damn cute she was.
Her hair was twisted into a messy knot, and she looked a little tired, what with getting organized to move, but I could have just looked at her all day and been happy. What truly soothed me was something else—I felt like she saw me exactly as I was.
All the doubts that had lingered after my breakup with Laney, the things she had said that had made me question parts of myself I used to consider strengths, those doubts didn’t exist with Ava.
I didn’t know how she did it, but I believed she wanted me just as I was.
I knew without a doubt that she was exactly who I wanted and needed. We felt right together.
Her parents were kind and loving, and I could sense the undercurrents moving quietly between them.
I understood that kind of family choreography.
It was clear Ava had been the family organizer, the one who made sure everything ran smoothly.
It was obvious she had always tried to have it together and not be in the way.
Her parents doted on her presence, savoring it, and I knew she was flying away from them. It meant a lot for them to have this time with her. Her sister’s name drifted through conversation now and then, laced with sadness but also acceptance.
After dinner, we made our way to bed. Ava’s bedroom was small. The walls were thin enough that we could hear everything, including her mom saying, “I think you should wear your earplugs. We don’t want them to feel like they can’t… Well, you know.”
Ava whipped her head toward me, eyes wide, cheeks blazing pink as she mouthed, “Oh my God.”
I bit back a laugh. I meant what I’d said earlier. I could wait. But tonight was going to test both of us.
Her bed was not even a queen-size bed. It was a full-size, which felt tiny. We were crowded together, with Ava refusing to speak above a whisper.
“I missed you, Tanner,” she breathed, snuggling against me. “Don’t talk toward the wall,” she added urgently.
“So I’m supposed to turn my face away from you?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my God.” I had to work to keep from laughing. “We’re not going to do anything.”
“Yeah, but we just heard them.”
“I missed you,” I murmured again, my words barely audible, before I leaned in and kissed her.
She sighed softly into my mouth, her palm sliding over my abdomen and across my chest until it rested above my heart, which pounded hard and fast. My entire body sizzled.
“This is going to be harder than I thought,” I whispered.
“Is it, though?” she teased quietly, her lips curving as her hand slid lower.
“Ava,” I rasped.
“What? We could be really quiet.”
I closed my eyes and drew in a slow breath. “Okay. But you have to be quiet.”
Our foreheads rested together. The brush of her lips against mine was enough to make my restraint crumble. I slid my hand over the curve of her hip and beneath the hem of her shirt. She trembled when I touched her, and that small reaction nearly undid me.
“Tanner,” she gasped softly against my mouth.
Whispers layered over whispers as we teased each other, moving slowly and carefully. My hand found her silky, slippery wet core, and she shuddered against me.
I pressed my forehead to hers. “I just want you to come for me,” I breathed. “Not a sound.”
Her body trembled. She buried her face against my neck, and I felt the vibration of her nearly silent cry against my skin as she unraveled a few moments later. I held her through it, my control hanging by a frayed thread.
She lifted her head, eyes sparkling in the dim light. “Now you,” she whispered. “Not a sound.”
Before I could argue, she finished what she had started with her palm curling around my length. She teased me to madness. I buried my face against her shoulder to muffle myself as I lost control, shaking hard against her.
When I finally met her gaze, she was smiling with pure joy shining in her eyes. We both started laughing, all the while desperately trying not to.
“I need to clean up,” I whispered.
“I’ve got it.”
Before I could protest, she tiptoed out of the room and returned with a warm washcloth. “They don’t use that bathroom,” she whispered. “They have one in their room.”
I laughed again under my breath.
“Do you think they heard us?” she asked once we were tucked back under the covers.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “And I don’t care.”
We lay there in the darkness, talking in soft whispers about everything and nothing. She asked about the fire, about the minor gash on my shoulder and the bandage on my forearm. I told her it was nothing. Just part of the job.
She told me about Laney at the restaurant. Finally, I told her about the phone situation and how it had all been fixed.
“She blocked my number from yours?” Ava was aghast.
“I know. I’m an idiot. You know how it is, though,” I whispered. “You set up an account, put it on autopay, and—”
“Forget about it.” She finished my sentence for me.
“The password is changed on the account. She’s been off the account for years, but I just forgot about that part.”
Ava shook her head slowly. “She really wants you back.”
“No.” I adjusted so I was facing her. “I don’t think so. I think it wasn’t going as easily as she thought with moving away. Whoever she was with broke up with her, and she’s licking her wounds. She wanted what she thought was a sure thing.”
“Which was you,” Ava said.
“I guess, but she broke up with me, and I’m still that guy.”