11. James
James
I ’ve barely finished wrapping up Emily’s surprise when I hear footsteps quickly coming up the stairs. I’m walking to my door when it flies open and a tearful Emily bursts through. She’s in my arms in an instant.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I cradle her head to my chest and rub soothing circles over her back. Aside from Emily getting her period and crying over the littlest things, I’ve never seen her cry like this.
She takes deep stuttering breaths. “My parents being home when I got back is what’s wrong.”
“What? What did they do?” Shock and disbelief coat my words. Em and I have been together for two years. In all that time I still haven’t met her parents and I’ve had dinner with her and Gloria at least once a week since we’ve been dating. When she mentioned they were home when she got back from rehearsal it took everything in me to not push her to let me come over.
“They wanted to talk. I didn’t let them. I berated them for thinking they could just come back here and want to talk when that’s all I’ve wanted for the past two years. I was so mad. And hurt.” Her voice is watery and muffled as she speaks into my chest. Hearing the pain in her voice, well I can’t imagine how she feels.
“I’m proud of you for standing up to them. I know it wasn’t easy. And I know you love your parents. But it was about time they knew how you felt.”
Emily has always spoken highly of her parents. Personally, if my parents abandoned me at a crucial time in my life, like high school, I wouldn’t be so forgiving. Em’s heart is bigger than mine. It’s what makes it so easy to love her.
I lift her in my arms and carry her to my bed. Laying her down, I slide onto the bed next to her and tuck her into my side. My shirt soaks instantly with the tears that are still falling.
“Your tears are breaking my heart, baby.” I say, kissing the top of her head and tucking her back into me.
“I just want them to be present. I want to laugh with them and do normal family things.” Her voice goes quiet as she speaks on the years of hurt her parents unintentionally put her through. “My parents were always good to me. But the further we got from New York, the more they put their work first. I want to matter to them.”
It wasn’t until last year that I finally got Emily to tell me how she felt about her parents working so much. She said that her parents not coming around became her new normal and she wouldn’t know how to act around them.
“Do your parents know where you’re at?” I mumble into her hair.
Her head moves on what I assume is her shaking her head, “No, but Gloria does. I don’t think she’ll tell them where I ran off to.”
As much as I hope Gloria doesn’t tell Emily’s parents where she’s at, at the end of the day Gloria works for her parents. But I don’t voice it because Emily doesn’t need that.
We stay like this on my bed. The surprise I had for her is forgotten as we both drift off to sleep.
What felt like five minutes has somehow turned into an hour when a door closing jolts me awake. I look down and Emily is passed out. With her rehearsal this morning and her parents coming home, I know she’s exhausted. Carefully, I extract myself from her hold. Kissing the top of her head, I pull a blanket up over her and head downstairs to see what the noise was.
Turning the corner I halt to a stop when I see my parents and two people I’m assuming are Emily’s parents at the kitchen table. My nap is still lingering in my head, so it takes considerable effort to stay put and not cower off back to my room to my girl.
“Honey,” my mom’s throat clearing brings my attention to her. “These are Emily’s parents, Mark and Christie. Come sit.”
I eye the vacant chair and wonder how fast I can run back upstairs. But I stay put. Because running away from the people who gave birth to the light that Emily is would be the coward's way out. So with herculean effort, I go and sit in the chair next to my mom.
Surveying the people in front of me, I see a mix of Emily in both of them. She gets her delicate nose from her Mom and eyes from her Dad.
Do I speak first? Or do I have the adults be adults and speak first?
I’m about to open my mouth when I’m beat to the punch.
“For years my daughter struggled to make friends. She’s shy and a cautious person. Moving here, I worried about her. And I wish I could say I noticed the change in her. But it makes me a terrible mother to say that while I’ve been focused on my career I’ve forgotten about my daughter,” her Mom takes a sip of her water before looking me in the eye. “When Emily said she had friends and was dating someone for the past two years, I refused to believe that I–we–could have missed so much of her life.” She stops talking as if she’s lost for words.
Leaning forward, I place my arms on the table. “It took Emily about a week to warm up to the idea of having me as a friend. I’m also a generally shy person, but something about her made me want to protect and comfort her. The first time we hung out I asked about you two. She shut me down. And told me that she was fine being alone in the expansive house that you two bought to give her a normal life.” I look over at my parents and I feel the warmth. “I’m not sure what her version of normal was before moving here. But what I can tell you is that my normal and her normal are nothing alike.”
Her Dad leans forward and if I were weak, I would be intimidated by him. But I’m not, so I let him speak. “Young man, I’m not sure who you’re talking to. But we love our daughter.”
“I have no doubt that you two love your daughter. But is it more out of familial obligation or because you truly love Emily as an extension of you and would move heaven and earth to see her happy?” Her Mom’s eyes turn down and her Dad bristles. “Do you know your daughter? Do you know that her favorite ice cream flavor is Oreo and that she loves The Fast & Furious movies? Did you know that she started preparing for a winter showcase and will perform it next year? She wants to be a teacher but if she gets the chance to play violin professionally, she would choose to do that.” With every word I speak, their faces continue to fall.
“You know all Emily dreams about is normal. She’s never outright told me that. But I see her face when my parents mention us doing a family activity together. Having parents who are around for more than ten minutes each week is all she wants. She wants the family dinners during the week and the laughter greeting her when she gets home from school. I want her to blow off our plans because you two decided at the last minute to whisk her off on a family vacation. I truly wish for the day when she blows me off because she’s spending time with you two. Every day, whether intentionally or not, you two have taken this beautiful, magnetic, hilarious young lady and made her want the opposite of what you’ve unknowingly given her.”
“James,” my dad warns.
But he doesn’t need to as I’ve said more than I needed to. I shake my head and get up, but before I retreat, I leave them with one thing. “I love your daughter,” I declare. “I am in love with your daughter. I love seeing the smile that’s so wide it takes up the entirety of her face. I love hearing her laugh…her full-on belly laugh, as I think it’s my personal cure when I’m having an off day. But what I love most about your daughter is how she dreams and lives her life with no care for how you two may react.”
Walking out of the kitchen, I jog up the stairs but stop short when I turn the corner and catch Emily sitting on the top step. Her smile is shaky and her eyes have filled with fresh tears. I walk up the few steps and sit next to her, taking her hand in mine and weaving our fingers together.
“Thank you.” Emily tells me before kissing my cheek.
Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I kiss the top of her head. “For you? Anytime.”
We sit at the top of the stairs and listen to the murmuring that comes from the kitchen, followed by the scrapping of chairs. Em and I hold our breath as her parents walk out of the house.
After a breath, Emily turns to me and places her chin on my shoulder. “So you must really love me?”
I hang my head as a huff of laughter comes out. “So much if I haven’t said it enough before.”
“You have. You’ve given me a love that I never knew existed. And I thank every cosmic star that you introduced yourself to me at the bus stop. I love you, James Michael Hayes. And I always will.”
“Congratulations to the Class of 2010. You did it!” Our principal gives the final remarks for graduation.
It blows my mind that I’m done with high school. Sure college starts in a couple of months, but I’ll be living at home and working part-time to save up for an apartment. Hopefully with Emily if all goes according to plan.
I space out thinking about the future when I see caps flying up around me. I take mine off and do a half-toss before I tuck it under my arm and file out with the crowd.
It takes more time than I had hoped to wade through the clusters of graduates to reach the outside where my family and Emily are waiting. I see my younger brothers hitting each other with balloons and my parents laughing with Em. The love I have for her may still be young, but I know she’s it for me.