Chapter 4
Istare blankly into nothing. My apartment is quiet. Not even my usually loud neighbor next door is making any noise. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here, but I’m still wearing my work clothes. Even my shoes.
The sun is about to set and drenches the building across from me in a golden glitter. I keep staring while I try to wrap my head around what happened today. Did it really happen or am I just having a bad dream?
But Lydia’s words felt real. The way she looked at me after she asked Nicole to leave the room.
The concern lacing her features, like I was some kind of lunatic.
Her words. Determined words. “I want you to take a break. A pause. This doesn’t work.
You work way too much, June. And you have been for the last five years.
I’ve been worried about you, but you seemed to handle it.
Until now . . .” I tried to protest, but Lydia raised her hand, and I closed my mouth again.
She was serious. “I want you to take some time off. Do something else. Do something that has nothing to do with work.”
“For how long?” I whispered.
She seemed to be contemplating that for a long moment, and when she finally spoke, I couldn’t believe what I heard. “Six weeks. The rest of the summer.”
I stared at her. “But the negotiations? Paris? Everything else?” My voice was barely audible now.
Lydia’s chest rose slowly while she watched me behind thick-rimmed glasses, like she was considering every word carefully.
“June, listen. You’re the best buyer I’ve ever had.
No one has that eye for detail or sure instinct that you have.
You are it. But I need you at the top of your game.
No one, not even you, can work twenty-four-seven and still be at your best. Let me ask you, even though I know the answer, when was the last time you took time off?
When was the last time you had a vacation? ”
“Well, it was that time last Christmas,” I began, but Lydia interrupted me with a soft smile.
“That doesn’t count, and you know it.”
“But—”
“I’ve made up my mind, June. You’re on a break from now on. No laptop. No phone. Do something you think is fun. Do something for you.”
I wanted to explain to her what had happened, but I couldn’t. Because I didn’t know myself. One minute I was in full control, and the next I wasn’t.
What will everyone say? And what if Lydia won’t let me come back, even though she snorted when I asked her about it? What if she changes her mind? I swallow hard. That can’t happen. It can’t. I’ve worked too hard for this.
Everything is so quiet. It’s like I’m in some kind of vacuum. A world that isn’t real. And I feel so empty, as if someone has drained me of all feelings, all thoughts.
What the hell am I going to do for six weeks? It’s a freaking eternity.
I’m still staring into nothing when my phone vibrates in my hand. Clara. Another picture of me in Pearlband Beach, this time at a coffee shop.
I sit completely still for seconds, minutes, maybe hours. I don’t know. But when I finally move again, I do something I’ll never be able to explain.
I listen to the long signals. Are they always this long? And when she finally picks up, I flinch, as if I’m surprised she’s there—in my phone.
“Hello?”
I clear my throat. “Phoebe? This is June Collins. I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to Pearlband Beach.”