Chapter 15
Ican’t believe anyone would think that there’s something going on between me and Benjamin Reyes.
It’s actually laughable because it’s so obvious we don’t like each other.
He’s arrogant and acts as if he knows everything, and he has that patronizing smirk going on almost always.
Yeah, we shared a kiss but nothing else.
And yeah, the kiss was good, but I’ll never do it again. Never.
Out of pure annoyance, I increase my pace.
The lactic acid makes my legs numb, but I keep running anyway and try to distract myself by focusing on the sea.
It’s still today, looking almost like a mirror, softly sparkling in the glow of the sun peeking out from time to time behind the clouds.
And the air is so humid I was soaked in sweat the second I started running. By now, I’m dripping.
Cactus runs in front of me like she’s not at all covered in the fluffiest fur ever. Totally unbothered. Do dogs sweat? Weird if they do but weird if they don’t, right? I’ll have to ask my friend Google about it later.
We turn and head back when we reach the middle of the croissant, and to my great happiness, Cactus seems just as into the idea of running all the way back as well. That gives me new energy and makes me push even harder.
By the time we finally reach the finish line, I’m nothing but a puddle of sweat. I lean forward, resting my palms on my knees and panting like I haven’t had air in ages—maybe ever. Cactus, on the other hand, sits neatly and doesn’t seem the least bit affected.
“Show-off,” I pant, still trying to catch my breath. She gives me a skeptical look before turning her attention back to a couple of birds.
I’m literally burning up and melting away at the same time, shooting yearning eyes at the water.
Wow, it looks cold and tempting—probably just what my skin needs.
What are the chances a hungry serial killer shark is swimming by right this second?
I mean, if I dip in quickly, it won’t even have time to notice I’m there.
I pull the soaking top over my head before I can change my mind, but then I remember—I don’t have my bikini with me. I’ve left it at home since movie night.
Fuck it, I’m so hot I don’t care about either swimwear or bloodthirsty sharks anymore.
I look around. I’m all alone except for a guy throwing a frisbee too far away to notice me. He’s too busy with his frisbee, and we all know how men are with their toys . . .
Without thinking further, I drag the sports bra over my head and quickly pull down my running shorts.
I cover my breasts as I walk down to the water in my tiny lace thong.
Yeah, I’m probably the only one working out in insanely expensive underwear but that’s because I love insanely expensive underwear, so why waste a moment?
I’ve never felt freer than when I finally dive under the surface.
The chilly water embraces me, making me regret all the morning swims I’ve avoided and all the swims I’ve missed out on over the last couple of years.
I can’t live without this. I need to do this every morning for the rest of my life—preferably naked, except for an insanely expensive lace thong.
I swim under the water with my eyes closed, allowing myself to be nothing but a part of nature. It’s not even cold, it’s just perfect.
I see him immediately when I come up for air and to check on Cactus. The light hits him just right—he looks like he’s made out of gold. At first, it takes me off guard. I stare at him, unable to tear my gaze away.
But then my brain starts working again, and I remember where I am and more specifically, what I’m wearing. Or rather, what I’m not wearing.
Calm down, he has no idea you’re practically naked. For all he knows, you’re just taking a morning swim.
Cactus, the betrayer, notices our company and immediately leaps over to greet them. Benjamin crouches down and cuddles her. “Hey, sweetheart. Where’s your charming owner?” I hear him say, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes. But then I hear him again. “What’s this?”
Something in my body suddenly screams ALARM! but I have no idea why. . . until Benjamin picks up something that Cactus is carrying in her mouth. Something that looks vaguely familiar.
“Is this . . . ?”
And, yes, ladies and gentlemen, he’s holding up my sports bra in his hand. My sweaty sports bra. He cocks his head, averting his gaze from the small piece of clothing to the sea. To me.
“Are you skinny-dipping, Collins?” His voice is dripping with disbelief and surprise.
“Fuck. Off.”
“Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Wow, I can’t remember wondering what you thought, Reyes.”
Okay, so he knows I’m kind of naked. Now, if he could just leave so I can get on with my day. Benjamin walks back with Cactus to the other clothes I left in a pile in the sand, where he puts down my bra. I sigh with relief. Now, leave.
He has a frisbee in his hand, and I feel stupid as it dawns on me who the man I saw earlier was. How did I not recognize him? Maybe because he’s not wearing his usual jeans this time but jersey shorts. He looks relaxed, like it’s his day off.
He turns to leave, and I exhale, now realizing I’ve been holding my breath. But the relief is short-lived because instead of taking his dog and walking away, he throws the frisbee, making both dogs start chasing it.
Is he for fucking real? He’s going to mess with me now? When I’m naked? Hell no. He sure as hell doesn’t own the narrative here. I’d rather die than let him own it.
I make sure to cover my boobs when I stride out of the water. He notices me almost immediately, dropping the frisbee Cactus just fetched for him.
At first, he just stares. Shocked, probably. I see his Adam’s apple bob before he regains some sort of consciousness and quickly spins around. “Collins, what the fuck?!”
“What?”
He doesn’t answer. I walk up to the pile of clothes. The sudden breath of air makes me shiver, pinching my nipples covered in my hands. Cactus and Audrey watch us like they have no idea what’s happening, which they obviously don’t.
“Never seen a naked woman before, Reyes?”
Still no answer.
“No wonder you lied about a girlfriend.” I put on my bra and my shirt before pulling up my shorts.
“Cactus, come on.” I take my shoes in one hand and her leash in the other. She follows without hesitation. She’s apparently as shocked as Benjamin, who still hasn’t said another word. Barefoot and with dripping hair, I leave him behind.
But I feel the moment he turns around and looks after me. His eyes burn in my back and for some reason, my nipples pinch even more.
There’s something in the mailbox when we get home. A package. I smile and ache at the same time when I recognize Clara’s scruffy handwriting. It makes me want to cry. I miss her so much it hurts in every cell in my entire body.
I bring the package to the porch and grin with my whole face when I open it and find a yellow T-shirt with Coffee is for pussies printed on it in pink letters.
It’s oversized in true Clara spirit and has, to my great joy, been sprayed with her perfume.
I bury my nose in it and inhale the lovely smell of my baby sister.
Fruity. It’s almost excruciating to smell it without her being here.
I put it on immediately and snap a selfie that I send to her. She calls me within three seconds.
“You like it?”
“I love it. Especially the fact that it smells like you.”
“I thought you would,” she says, pleased. “I made one for Mom, too.”
“Perfect, then we can all wear them on Christmas.”
“My thought exactly. How’s my niece?”
“You have to stop calling her that.”
Clara ignores me. “How is she?”
I sigh. “Still a diva.” But then I soften a little. “She’s tired. We were just out running, and she managed to keep up the whole time today without stopping.”
“You run together?” Clara sounds surprised.
“Yes. Every morning. Initially, I think she hated it, but now I think she even enjoys it a little.”
“So you’ve finally found a running partner.”
“Yeah, I guess I have. At least a temporary one.”
“What do you mean?”
I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I know will come. “I can’t have a dog in New York, Clara. It doesn't work with the rest of my life.”
“But what are you going to do with her?”
“I hope my neighbor here will want to take care of her.”
“But . . .”
I suppress a sigh. “But what, Clara?”
“But what about her feelings?”
“Who? My neighbor’s? I don’t think she’ll take any offense. She likes Cactus.”
“Not hers. Cactus’s. What about Cactus’s feelings? She just lost an owner, will she have to lose another one?”
“I don’t think she’ll disapprove. She doesn’t like me.”
“Juju. She lost her only family member. Is it weird that it takes some time for her to adjust to her new life? It has nothing to do with you.”
“Who does it have to do with then?”
“With Liz, of course. She lost Liz. And now she has to get used to the fact that it’s you and her instead of Liz and her.”
I blow out a breath. “It’s not me and her.”
“There. There’s your problem. You still haven’t accepted the situation. She’s a part of your life now so you better make room for her in it.”
Before I can reply, she continues.
“Have you watched Hachi yet?”
“No, I—”
“Watch it. Then we can talk about my niece again. So, what’s new?”
I raise my eyebrows. “You’re not angry anymore?”
“I’m never angry. That’s not my thing.”
I laugh. “Well, I think some people might disagree . . .”
“But what do they know?”
“Mom and I?”
“Nah, I call bullshit. I’m never angry with you two. I may sound angry, but I’m actually not. Now tell me, what’s new?”
My heart squeezes. Ah, I miss her.
“Hm, let me see. You know about movie night, you know I run, I told you about Iris, and I’ve sent you pictures of the patio. What else . . . Well, I haven’t told you I’m going to help out in a store here in town.”
“You what?”