26. CHAPTER TWENTY-THIRTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CONNOR
Steam follows me out of the bathroom, heat still clinging to my skin as I shove a hand through my damp hair, only to slow when I find Theo sitting on the edge of the bed, staring straight at me.
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back against his hands, green eyes sliding down my body with no attempt to hide where they’re going. By the time they make it back to my face, his nostrils flare around a deeper breath.
Heat rushes straight back into my face, and I look down, too aware of the shirt he gave me hanging loose from my shoulders and leaving my legs almost entirely bare.
The fabric still smells like him, and now that I’ve noticed it, I can’t stop. Every breath brings another trace of his detergent and that stupid cologne that seems to cling to everything he owns, while his body wash is still warm on my skin beneath it.
I’ve showered and somehow come out smelling more like Theo than I did when I went in.
“Thanks,” I mutter, looking down, my fingers curling into the hem.
A stupid little smile pulls at my mouth, and when I lift my eyes again, Theo’s fingers are twisted into the duvet, knuckles pale against the dark fabric, his gaze fixed on me.
I cross the room, not taking my eyes off him. The closer I get, the farther his head tips back to keep my gaze, until I’m standing right in front of him with his knees almost brushing my thighs.
Theo is usually the one looming over me, crowding into my space with that lazy confidence like he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Now I’m the one standing over him while he sits there gripping the duvet, swollen lips parted slightly as he looks up at me.
Seeing him looking up at me drags me straight back to Theo on his knees with those same green eyes fixed on mine. My mouth goes dry when his tongue sweeps slowly over his bottom lip, and I close the last of the distance between us, stepping between his knees.
His thighs part around me without hesitation, and the ease of it sends another rush of heat through my stomach. Theo breathes in as I move closer, his eyes darkening before his hands come up and catch in the front of my shirt.
“I can take the couch,” he says quietly.
“No.”
Theo’s brows lift, but the thought of him leaving me here alone in his bed makes my chest ache. After everything we’ve done tonight, this is where he’s decided we need distance?
His mouth opens, probably to argue, and I plant both hands against his chest and shove.
Theo drops onto the mattress, surprise flashing across his face as I follow him down, climbing between his legs and moving over him until my hands sink into the bed on either side of his head.
His palms find my hips, biting deep into the skin, his eyes falling to my mouth.
“That’s just fucking unfair,” he rasps. “I’m trying not to fuck up more than I already have.”
My brows pull together. “Why do you keep talking about what we did like that?”
“Like what?”
I stare at him, irritation already crawling higher because he fucking knows.
“Like you’re the only one responsible.”
Theo gives a shrug that would probably work better if he could actually look at me while he does it. His eyes drop instead, hands slipping beneath the hem of my shirt until his palms settle against my sides.
My breath catches at the contact, goosebumps lifting beneath his rough hands, his fingers flexing against my skin, but his eyes stay lowered.
“Aren’t I?” he huffs. “I knew what I was doing-”
“And I didn’t?”
His eyes snap back to mine, and the irritation I’ve been trying to keep hold of sharpens as I move closer until there’s barely enough room left between our faces to breathe.
“Last I checked, I fucked you.”
Theo’s lips part around a small stuttered breath.
“I’m not some fucking virgin you talked into doing something he didn’t understand.” My fingers curl into the mattress beside his head. “You might be the first guy I’ve been with, but I knew exactly what I was choosing.”
His jaw clenches.
“So stop trying to make it yours.” I lean closer, holding his eyes when he finally gives them to me. “You don’t get to take responsibility for my decisions just because you don’t know what the fuck to do with yours.”
Theo goes quiet beneath me, his hands still warm against my bare sides as he blows out a rough breath. “I can’t argue with you,” he groans, eyes falling to my mouth. “Not with you like this.”
A smirk pulls at the corner of my mouth.
“Then don’t,” I hum, lowering my mouth to his, our lips brushing, Theo’s fingers biting into my hips. The reaction sends a warm rush through me, and I do it again, lingering this time.
His teeth catch my bottom lip before I can pull away, and the gasp that leaves me disappears straight into his mouth when he grinds against me.
His teeth catch my bottom lip before I can pull away, and the gasp that leaves me disappears straight into his mouth when he grinds against me again.
His cock is hard against mine through our clothes, the firm drag of it sending another rush of heat through me.
I pull back, looking at him sprawled beneath me, his green eyes blown dark as he stares back.
I want to see him above me, and that’s all it takes. I grab hold of him and roll us, landing on my back with Theo over me, his knees falling either side of my hips as his hands brace against my chest and his weight settles into my lap.
My cock presses along the cleft of his ass through the thin fabric, dragging a broken breath out of me as my hands close around his hips. Theo goes just as still, his eyes widening slightly before they drop between us.
“You sure you’re not a bottom?”
His eyes narrow, and the laugh is already pushing at the back of my throat when Theo rolls his hips, killing it.
The drag of him against my cock punches the air from my lungs, my fingers digging into his hips while Theo stares down at me. His eyes track every twitch of my face, every breath I fail to keep steady, and then his mouth curves slightly.
“I don’t fucking know with you,” he mutters, doing it again.
Slower this time, dragging himself along my cock until my stomach pulls tight and my grip on him becomes the only thing keeping me from thrusting straight up against him.
Theo bites down on his bottom lip as his hips move again, a rough sound breaking out of him.
“I’ve never wanted-” he cuts himself off, his eyes leaving mine.
“Wanted what?”
Theo’s throat moves, but nothing comes out, and I push myself upright before he can disappear into whatever place he keeps retreating to every time we get too close to saying something real.
My arm closes around his waist and pulls him firmly down into my lap.
Theo pitches into me with a stuttered breath, palms catching against my chest as the movement presses us together. My cock is trapped along the cleft of his ass now, close enough that his next breath catches when I shift beneath him.
“Wanted what?” I ask again, rolling my hips slowly, Theo’s forehead falling to my shoulder, his body moving with mine.
His hips sink into mine while his breath warms the side of my neck.
There’s no hesitation in it. No argument.
For all the shit he talks, all that cocky confidence he throws around like nobody could ever make Theo Knox do a thing he didn’t want to, he’s sitting in my lap and following every movement I give him.
“Tell me,” I murmur.
“I’ve never wanted-fuck-”
The rest breaks apart against my shoulder, and I make myself slow when every instinct is telling me to do the opposite.
Theo shakes his head against my neck, but I keep my arm around his waist and wait him out. I can feel how hard he’s breathing, until eventually the tension in his body gives enough for the words to come.
“I’ve never wanted someone else to be the one calling the shots.”
My hips stop beneath him.
I forget about the ache between my legs, forget about the shower and the alley and every question I’ve been trying to force an answer out of him for since we got back.
Theo doesn’t give up control.
He fights when Marcus tries to drag him off someone.
Laughs in people’s faces when they tell him what to do.
Pushes and pushes until everyone around him either gives in or loses their mind.
Even on his knees, there’s always been that challenge in his eyes, like he could take the control straight back whenever he wanted.
But he didn’t.
Not with me.
My fingers slide into the hair at the back of his head, pulling him away from my shoulder until I can see his face.
“Theo-”
“Don’t,” he breathes, eyes dropping away.
I tighten my grip, keeping his face tipped towards mine when he tries to turn away, and the broken little sound that catches in his throat sends heat tearing through me.
He just told me he wants something from me he’s never wanted from anyone else, and now he can’t even look at me.
“Fuck, Theo.” My eyes move over his face, searching for any sign that I’ve misunderstood him. “You don’t get to say that and then hide from me.”
What the hell am I supposed to do with this now?
I’ve spent all night trying to work out why he let me cross lines he’s never let anyone else near, and now I have my answer sitting right here in my lap.
Me.
It’s me.
The realisation punches through every other thought in my head, and I pull him into a kiss because I can’t sit here with it.
My hips drive up beneath him, Theo’s moan breaking into my mouth as he moves with me.
Because now I know.
Every time Theo gives instead of fights, every time his body follows mine, every time he looks at me and waits for what I’ll do next, I know.
He wants this from me.
My hand tightens in his hair, heat spreading possessively through my chest.
I want it too.
Fuck, I want it far more than I should.
I want to be the one Theo gives this to. The one who gets past all that swagger and defiance and makes him let go.
And when his eyes open against my mouth and find mine again, the thought that follows is so immediate I don’t even get the chance to shove it away.
I don’t want him looking at anyone else like this.