29. Veronica #3
I focus back on where I’m going and finally reach Trinity’s burial spot where the ground is still fresh from yesterday. But what has me frowning slightly is the single blue flower resting at the foot of the headstone. Could Noah have been here earlier and left it behind?
I kneel down beside the fresh dirt, not caring that it’s most likely getting my thigh-high socks dirty, and pick up the flower.
“Hey, Trinny. I know we saw each other just yesterday, but I could really use your advice.” I sigh, delicately gliding the tip of my finger over the soft blue petals.
“I’m scared of how quickly Noah is derailing.
I’m scared that I won’t know how to truly help him when he finally lets me back in.
All he’s been doing for the past ten days is drinking, and now he’s disappeared on us all day. ”
I wipe the single tear that falls and set the flower down, then look behind me as the sense of someone watching me makes my body erupt with shivers.
But it’s just Julian’s men; no one else is here.
I bring my attention back to the beautiful girl who left too soon, trying to ignore the anxiety coursing through my body at the thought that Victor could be somewhere out there right now watching me.
“I’m so worried about him, Trinity, and it’s even worse now that Victor’s popping up again…
” I cover my face with my hands when the tears begin to flow freely.
“Fuck… I’m so tired of being scared… of having to look over my shoulder everywhere I go…
I hate it…” I pass my fingers through my hair, taking a few deep breaths.
“I feel like this fear inside of me is even stronger now than it was before because it’s no longer just about me…
and I’m terrified of what he’ll do to my boys if he ever gets to them…
” I cry quietly with my head bowed, hating that I once again feel like the weak little girl I tried so hard to break free from.
“I’ll never survive it if something happens to either of them… ”
I give myself a few more minutes of silence to collect myself before getting to my feet and heading back to Morgan’s car.
When I climb in, she immediately reaches for me and takes me in her arms. “Everything’s going to be all right.
Just breathe through it and stay strong,” Morg whispers in my ear before pulling back and smiling at me with her hands still on my arms. “You’re our bad B-I-T-C-H. You’ve got this.”
We both giggle at the fact that she spelled out the word rather than say it, but Morgan’s been intense with the no cursing, even when there aren’t any children around. She’s going to be a phenomenal mother to these babies with how much she’s always thinking ahead of everything.
“Thanks, I think I needed that reminder.” I smile at her.
“Anytime, sweetie.”
One hour later, I’m sitting outside on the patio, gazing at the cute little birds chirping away as they jump around their birdhouse and peck the seeds, when Gabe arrives home.
He leans against the open patio doors, that dazzling grin over his lips as he watches me apply the last coat of nail polish on my toenails.
“You’re finally home.” I can’t help my smile from growing at the sight of him.
“Hi, baby.” He walks over as I close the bottle and kiss him. “Missed me?”
“I always miss you when you’re gone,” I admit while he takes a seat next to me on the couch and places my feet over his thigh.
“Pretty,” he whispers, looking down at my rainbow toes that match my hair, then begins blowing softly on them.
“Have you heard anything?” I swallow, already knowing the answer.
Gabe shakes his head. “I’m sure he’s fine, he probably just needed a day to himself,” he says, but even I can tell he doesn’t believe his own words.
“Do you think we should call Julian? Didn’t he say he had someone on all of us? Maybe he knows where he is.”
He cups my cheek, forcing a smile for me.
“I already did, and he assured me someone was watching over Noah, but he refused to tell me where he was out of respect for his privacy.” My face falls instantly.
“I know it sucks and it’s not the answer you wanted, but we need to give him time. ” There goes that famous advice again.
“I know…”
“Come here.” He moves my feet off his legs and opens his arms.
I quickly get up and sit down sideways on his lap, my feet on the couch cushion beside us with my arms around his torso and head nuzzled beneath his chin as he kisses my crown.
For the next few minutes all we do is watch the birds in silence as Gabe glides his fingers through my hair and I listen to the sound of his heart beating.
“Have you ever thought about getting a bird as a pet? You seem to like them a lot,” he suddenly asks.
I shake my head against him. “I could never own one.”
“Why not?” I can hear the frown in his tone.
“I’ve spent the last eight years of my life feeling like a bird trapped in a cage. Even once I was free, I could still feel the weight of its shackles wrapped around my ankles, tying me to that cage. The last thing I would ever want to do is take away that innocent bird’s freedom.”
His arms tighten around me once more, soothing me with his touch as he kisses the top of my head again.