7. Kayden #3
“I mean…There’s nothing wrong with not going to college. But…” A streak of pink hair falls from her bun, covering her face from my view, and I lean forward and push it back behind her ear.
“But what?”
“But, what about your dreams? Don’t you have any? I totally thought you were going to get a hockey scholarship or find a way to play it in college, at least. You seemed into it.”
I take another sip of the wine before closing the bottle and leaving it aside. I consider telling her I wanted that, that I had a passion for it. That hockey was the only other thing in my life that made me feel in control besides my taunting her. But what’s the point? It’s too late for me anyway.
“Nah. I’m not a dreamer, Little Demon,” I say instead. “I don’t make plans. I deal with things as they come. It’s better. No expectations, no disappointments, no stress.”
“You could still go to college, though, you know?” She pauses. “Take a gap year and think about what you want. Many people do that. Then, we can find a school for you.”
I grunt. “No, Madelyn. Stop.” I pause. “I’m not going because my grades are too shit to get me accepted anywhere. Okay?”
She purses her lips. “I’m sure there is one that offers what you want to study and isn’t too strict with grades.”
I scoff. She’s trying to fix me. Trying to take the role I’m being too stubborn to take on myself.
“I’m sorry. I’m…It’s something to think about,” she volunteers. “I’d help if you want me to.”
“Seriously?” That’s a surprise. “I thought you hated me.”
“I do.”
“And you’re still offering to help me?”
“Yep.” She looks forward and hugs her legs. “I’d help you find a place far, far away from me.”
I cackle at that.
Would she still offer her help if she knew everything I did? The monster I’m keeping hidden?
“Enough about me. What about you, Little Demon?” I direct the whole focus to her. “What’s your dream?”
I’ve never had a conversation like this with her. Never wondered. Never wanted us to talk until now. Too busy making each other’s lives hell.
“I’m going to be a teacher.”
I tilt my head to the side and grin.
“I can see that. You, in a tight little skirt and shirt, being all strict on kiddos and threatening them to do their homework. Kinda hot.”
She shakes her head. Her cheeks flush.
“I won’t be like that. I’ll be gentle.”
“Gentle? You?” I scoff. “Please, Madelyn.”
She gives me a delicate push, and I almost stumble.
“Stop it,” she says. “I want to teach kids. I want to inspire them. I want to help them become better human beings. Not feed into some disturbing fantasy.”
“That’s cheesy as fuck.”
She shrugs. “I don’t care. It’s something I always wanted to do.”
It’s something that’d fit her just right, but I don’t say that.
An idea crawls to the corners of my mind.
“Where are you going?”
She bites her bottom lip. “Nothing is set in stone. I’ve got another year of school first. But if it all goes according to plan…
” She pauses. “I’ll be going to NJ State.
It’s a reputable school, and close to home, so I could commute.
It also has the major I want. It’s affordable, and it doesn’t have a strict quota or requirements. The whole package, basically.”
“Sounds good.”
Really good, if I’m being honest. Do they have a hockey team, too, by any chance?
“Yeah.” She rests her palms on her ankles. “I’m a bit nervous, though. I’ll have to get driving lessons and a license, otherwise, I’ll have to take public transportation every day. Which wouldn’t be bad, but everyone’s nagging me about driving.”
“Nothing wrong with not driving,” I say. “Don’t sweat it. You’ll learn when you learn.”
“Yeah.” She nods. “The sooner, the better.”
“Hey, Little Demon?”
“Yeah?”
“I know this isn’t our dynamics at all, but…” I pause.
Should I even suggest this? The alcohol in my veins says yes.
“Do you wanna do this again?”
“Do what?” She tilts her head. “Talk on the rooftop?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmmm…”
“Well, whatever.” I dig my pockets and take out something I’ve had with me all along. “If you want to. Just if you want to, we could. Believe it or not, I kinda enjoyed this.”
I open my hand and extend it to her, revealing a red hockey puck I always keep on me for luck.
A real puck I stole after winning one of my first hockey games. Snatched it right out of the arena without anyone noticing. Once I was home, I painted it red, my favorite color.
“Pull this out on me, or leave it somewhere I can see, and I’ll know you want to talk, here.”
She inhales deeply, taking the puck from me, her delicate fingers wrapping around it.
“A puck.”
“Yeah. As you can see, it’s similar to a red light on a traffic light, both in its color and shape. What does a red light usually mean?”
“Stop.”
I nod. “Yep. So this puck means you want to take a pause. A break from everything. Some air. You need something or someone to stop, yourself included. Show me this, and I’ll be here. Silent or not, it’s up to you. I’ll listen.”
She nods and holds the puck close to her chest.
“Okay,” she says.
And I swear I see the hint of a smile on her face.