20. Maddy
MADDY
I’m not ready to face Jordan or anyone after the party fiasco. So, I pretend I’m sick and take a few days off. Mom understands me, that’s why she doesn’t say a thing and plays along in front of Lucas.
He’s the stricter of the two.
When I come back to class the following Thursday, I’ve practiced my apology speech more times than I can count.
Jordan’s taken her usual seat, and Viktor is sitting by her, while Cal’s on her other side. My seat.
His nose is white, covered in some sort of splint, and his eye is purple.
Other than that, he looks normal. His blond hair and baggy clothes are pristine.
The two jocks don’t even take this class, but we’ve got a few minutes left to socialize.
On the other hand, Kayden does take this course—Education 101—and he isn’t anywhere in sight.
I attempt to distract my mind from him and focus on what I need to get done.
Right.
Apologizing.
Students are seated all around the room, and as I approach Cal, Viktor, and Jordan, I get a few looks.
Clearing my throat, I stop in front of the trio.
“H-hey.” I’m running over the words I rehearsed in my head. How I’m sorry for what my jerk of a brother did. How I didn’t mean any harm.
“Bitch, don’t bother.” My until-now friend signals with a hand. She gives me an up-and-down look and winces. “We’re not interested.”
“But, I want to apologize. I didn’t mean to—”
“Have your freak of a brother break Cal’s nose?” Jordan raises a tailored eyebrow.
Her behavior is so different now from the friendly girl I met at the start of the semester, who was eager to make friends with me.
“Well, y-yes and—”
“Stop what you’re doing.” Jordan’s words are cold and calculated. “There’s no need to apologize. We don’t want to have anything to do with you or your brother. What kind of relationship do you guys even have? Ew.” She twists her mouth. “Stay away from us.”
I glance at Cal, tears welling in my eyes, my heart churning.
What the hell is going on?
“We’re fine,” Cal says. “I’m not that desperate for pussy, let alone yours. Just get out of my sight.”
His words are degrading. They make me feel dirty. Angry. I couldn’t give less shits about him and his limp dick, that’s a fact. I just wish that his generic horny behavior and my own stupid act hadn’t cost me Jordan’s friendship, but it’s clear whose side she’s on.
The group turn their gazes away from me, and resume talking among themselves, a clear sign they’re not interested in discussing anything any further.
I head straight for the opposite side of the room, taking a seat in an abandoned corner, hoping no one else talks to me ever. I don’t need anyone. I’m okay on my own. I’ve always been alone.
***
Kayden ignores me for the rest of the day, and silence fills our ride home together.
I’m doing the same. I’ve had it with his moods.
But I wish the thoughts of him between my legs didn’t plague me. That I wasn’t still thinking of it the way I am. How it felt so wrong and so good at the same time. My body still yearns for him.
After spending some time in my room, writing what feels like the filthiest smut ever put on paper in my diary, that insatiable part of me is a bit relieved. I’m still angry at him, though.
Who does he think he is messing with my life?
I was getting into a routine, meeting friends, and now I’m starting over from zero. Again.
That’s it. I need to relax.
Our home library is the perfectly cozy place to do so—with multiple options for entertainment—so that’s where I head. Shutting the door behind me, I admire the room.
It’s wide and spacious. There is a long black leather sofa in the middle, bookshelves surrounding it with both real books and mock-ups for decoration, a flat screen TV with a decent collection of movies right in front of the sofa, and even a small fridge with refreshments and snacks.
I grab a bag of popcorn from the drawers next to the fridge and move on to drinks.
After scanning the mini fridge, filled with different types of sodas, a better idea pops into my head.
I know Lucas keeps alcohol hidden here.
There’s plenty to show off on his cabinets in the living room, but he’s got an unhealthy taste for it. He keeps some here, too. I found out when one day I saw him picking up one of the mock books from a shelf, and the bookshelf opened like a door—revealing a cabinet filled with alcoholic goodies.
I can’t quite remember which bookshelf it was. But I remember it being the row of books in the middle. So, I try both sides and pick up the mock books on the left side of the sofa first.
It’s when I move on to the right that I pick up a book, and an automatic sensor opens the door hidden behind it. Inside, the biggest selection of alcohol I’ve ever seen. There is a whole row of whiskey and wine, another of rum, and cans of beer.
I settle for something strong. Whiskey.
I grab one of the numerous bottles and shut the cabinet door.
With popcorn in one hand and the bottle in the other, I make myself comfortable on the sofa. Woo-hoo—I’m home, comfortable in my pajamas, no bra, hair in a ponytail, no makeup, in my most unapologetic form, about to have my own girls’ night.
Another idea pops into my head. I pick up Kayden’s red puck from its usual spot on the bookshelf closest to the door and swing the door open, placing the puck on the floor outside.
A sort of ‘do not disturb’ sign. Kayden did say I could use it whenever I needed a break, too, not only for talking purposes.
And right now, I need a break from him. He should get the hint.
Sitting down on the sofa again, I open the bag of popcorn and grab a handful, pressing it into my mouth.
I chew the salty popcorn pieces while twisting the whiskey cap open.
It takes me a few tries, but once it clicks, I press the bottle to my mouth and take a sip.
The alcoholic beverage burns my insides right away.
I wince and inhale another handful of popcorn.
Leaning back, I turn on the TV and browse through the library of movies until I find something fun to watch.
Before I realize it, I’ve been browsing for over an hour, half the popcorn is gone, and I’ve taken a few good sips of whiskey. My vision is becoming blurry, and my head’s spinning, but my body’s ticklish as I will myself to decide on a movie. Why am I so indecisive?
The door creaks, and a head pops in between the gap, prompting me to spin around.
“What do you want?” I spit, seeing Kayden.
He’s dressed in casual gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt that accentuates his wide shoulders. His hair is dancing in his face, and he brushes it back with his palm.
In his other hand is the red puck, and he stretches it my way, an eyebrow lifted.
“I don’t want to talk. Leave, please. And put that back where it was.”
His blue eyes squint, and an amused half-smile paints his lips. “I’m confused. Why are you leaving red pucks on the door of the library for everyone to see?”
“That’s supposed to mean I need a break, remember? A break from you.” I point at him. “Besides, I thought you didn’t want to talk. That’s why you’ve been avoiding me.”
“You’re right, I don’t want to fucking talk.” He changes his whole demeanor, stepping inside the room and closing the door behind him. “I want to drink.” He points at my booze.
“Well, you can’t. It’s mine.” I take the bottle’s mouth, taking a long pull that I’m already regretting as it burns through my chest.
“Give me that.” Kayden slumps next to me on the sofa, snatching the bottle of whiskey. “I see you found my father’s secret stash.”
I huff. “Pfft, secret? Anyone with a brain can find it. I’ll tell you one thing—not very smart on his part to leave alcohol where college students can find it.”
“I’m not going to argue with you on that.”
He sips from the bottle’s mouth, and the thought of my lips having touched it, and then him touching it with his own sends a rush of heat through my body. It shouldn’t. It’s just drinking from the same damn bottle. People do that.
I try to steal it back from him, but he’s stronger, and he holds it away from me.
“You’ve had enough,” Kayden says, stretching his free palm toward my cheek. He grazes it, and I squirm. “God, look at your face. It’s all flushed. Or maybe it’s because of me.”
“It’s not.” My whole body warms from his words and touch. “And you don’t get to choose for me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, sis. I do get to choose. I’m your big brother, after all.” Kayden smirks before taking another slurp.
I give up, folding my arms over my chest and frowning so hard that my whole forehead hurts.
I think I’m giving myself a migraine.
“So, let’s talk,” Kayden says, resting the red puck between us. “Not avoiding you anymore. What do you want?”
“I told you. I don’t want anything from you.”
“Clearly, you do. Or you wouldn’t be pulling tricks on me like you are.”
“I am not.”
“You left the puck by the door.”
“To get a break.”
“To call me in.”
“Believe it or not, not everything is about you, Kayden.”
“Oh, fuck.” He chuckles. “You’re breaking my heart.”
“Shut up.” I push his shoulder and attempt another snatch at the whiskey bottle.
He stretches his arm up so I can’t reach it, and I don’t realize until it’s too late that I’m almost climbing him. I’m sure his hard-on just stabbed my thigh.
My heart races, the friction making every nerve in my body pulsate.
Oh, God.
His hand isn’t empty anymore, as it rests on the small of my back.
“W-what are you doing?” I ask.
“Preventing you from getting any drunker like any good big brother would do?”
“N-not that. Why are you…touching me?”
“Don’t you want me to touch you, Little Demon? Isn’t that why I’m here?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“This. What are we doing, Kayden?”
“We can do whatever you want.” His words are suggestive and slow.
His face is so close to mine, the air he lets out as he talks hits me. My whole body is glued to him. “Want to sit on my face, baby?” A smirk. “I can arrange that.”
“N-no.” I pull away from him and stand up.
My heart is ricocheting in my chest. The thought of actually doing what he suggested…
No. That can’t happen. It won’t.
“I’m going to my room,” I announce. “This is a bad idea.”
“Or the best idea.” Kayden puts the cap on the bottle of whiskey and tosses it on the sofa. He stands up too, drawing the distance between us closer again.
“Shut up.”
“You really need to expand your vocabulary, sis. If you keep telling me to shut up, you’d better keep my mouth busy.”
I gnaw at my bottom lip, leaning closer to Kayden, driven by a strange force.
My hand’s on his chest inexplicably before I retreat.
What am I doing?
“This isn’t happening.” I step back.
Kayden yanks my wrist and drags me to him. “Then you shouldn’t give people the wrong idea.”
“I didn’t,” I say, heading toward the door.
Kayden follows me.
“I don’t need this,” I insist.
I do. My thighs are almost screaming for his touch. My heart is racing. My body is on fire.
My pussy is clenching with thoughts of his mouth on my clit again.
He points at the fucking red puck on the sofa again. “You left that for me to see. It means you do.”
“It’s a stupid red puck. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Are you sure about that?” He backs me against the door.
I attempt to push him away, but he seizes my wrists, pinning them over my head with one hand and towering over me.
I can’t take this anymore. Anger boils in my stomach. He can’t keep getting away with making me feel these things, sabotaging my life, and then cornering me and having his way with me whenever he wants.
“Fine,” I mutter. “You want to know how my day was? You want me to talk? Is that what you want?”
“That or eating you out, I enjoy both the same.” He smirks.
My breath grows ragged, and I sigh.
“Go ahead, sis.”
“I officially have no friends again. They think I’m a freak who has some weird relationship with her brother. Are you happy?”
Kayden cackles, and lets go of my wrists, locking me between his arms instead. “You think I’m happy?”
“You got what you wanted,” I say. “You’re humiliating me again, isolating me. Keeping me all to yourself.”
“And why would that make me happy? You think I like you or something?”
“No. But you know I like you.” Oh, God. What am I saying? “I mean…I…tolerate you!” I push at his chest. “That’s why you use me like a toy, play with me. But all you’re doing is ruining my life.”
“I’m ruining your life?” He slaps a palm against the door, startling me.
His brow furrows. “You’re the one ruining lives, Madelyn.
Mine included.” He crouches, his face impossibly close to mine now.
“So, stop fucking calling me, stop coming up to me and seeking my attention, stop getting yourself in trouble, and forcing me to save you. Unless you plan on making it up to me—” He pauses, venom in his voice. “Do us both a favor and fuck off.”
Make it up to him? He’s the one who should make it up to me for all that he’s been doing since he entered my life. But he’s right. Maybe I should make it up to him. Give him one last thing before we end this forever.
“What do you want me to do?”
He laughs. “What are you talking about?”
“To make it up to you,” I say, my heart drumming faster than ever.
“I’ll do it. One last wish before we go back to pretending each other don’t exist, before we stop doing whatever the fuck this push and pull is.
You’re right. It doesn’t serve us, so we should end it.
And before we do, I’ll grant you one last wish. ”
He grits his teeth. “I don’t need anything from you.”
“Well, that’s too bad, because I’m going to give you something. You said I owed you before. Now, choose.”