Chapter 13
Jordan
Mind telling me what’s going on?” Avery asks after we’re on the road.
“Nora and I broke up.”
“I know. Last summer.”
I turn to her, ignoring the stings rippling through my thigh. “Last summer?”
“Jordan, I know you’ve been through something awful, but what’s—”
“I lost some of my memory in the crash.”
“Oh.” She keeps her eyes focused on the road, her knuckles turning white around the steering wheel. “You remembered your breakup today, didn’t you?”
My silence is enough to fill her in.
“I’m sorry, Jordan. That sucks.”
“Thanks.” A weary chuckle escapes. I’m grateful she isn’t trying to placate or pity me. “You don’t know the half of it.”
“How about we have lunch, and you can tell me all about it? Or,” she backtracks when I sigh out my hesitation, “we can eat in silence. Whichever works for you, but I can see you need a break from it all.”
“You are a smart one. Who knew?”
She glares at me over her shoulder before laughing. The carefree sound is intoxicating and a far cry from what I expect to encounter when I’m forced to face Nora again.
She glances my way again. “Do you have someone to talk to at home? Who’s staying with you?”
“Nora.”
“Ouch. But why would she—”
“Fake girlfriend in-home care set up by my sister. She’s been pretending we’re still together since I left the hospital. I was blissfully happy for all of one week.”
She pulls into a parking lot, and I don’t bother to check which restaurant she picked. All I need is cold beer, hot food, and someone on my side.
“Well, it’s a good thing you found out now and not a month from now,” she says to offer consolation, even if it is a weak and embarrassing one.
“I guess.”
After getting me in the wheelchair, over the sidewalk, and up the entry ramp, we soon settle at a table in the corner by the front windows. The natural light, Avery suggests, will help my grumpiness.
“Funny.”
The waiter soon stops by, and we both order a beer, burger, and fries. Hers with bacon and cheese. Mine with barbeque sauce.
“Seems like our debate earlier was a bit pointless,” she says after we’re alone.
“What do you mean?”
“You argued that steak was better with beer, yet here you are ordering a burger at the first opportunity. That must mean I won the argument.”
“No. That means eating a burger is easier than steak when you have only one hand.” I wave my right hand for emphasis.
“Sure. Great excuse, but I’m still taking the win.”
“Whatever.” A smile tickles my lips as she sits back and crosses her arms with finality.
“So, tell me. How in the world did Nora become in charge of your care?”
“Diving in headfirst, are we?” I snatch up the beer as the waiter sets it on the table. “I can’t even get five minutes of warm up first?”
“Like ripping off the bandage. Easier to not think about it too much before yanking.”
I wince at the analogy. I’ve ripped off plenty of bandages in my lifetime as a reckless boy and later in the military. It’s never pleasant when arm or leg hair is involved. This conversation will be no different, and I suspect I’ll be bald and exposed in no time.
“I’ve gathered that Josie…my sister,” I clarify when she tilts her head in question, “asked her to play along. Jackson said he was asked, for my well-being, and she would be the only one with details about my injuries and the balls to set all this up.”
“Sounds like she was just looking out for you.”
“I thought you were on my side.”
“I am. One hundred percent, but I don’t think she did it to hurt you. I assume you two are close?”
“She’s the only family I have, and she’s been taking care of me since I was a kid.” I think back to the dozen other times she’s made decisions to protect me or prevent me from getting hurt. All I’ve appreciated until now. “But this one cut deep. Imagine loving someone with your entire being and waking up one day to find the future you thought you had with them was a lie.”
Avery’s gaze fell to the table as her thoughts drifted. “I don’t have to imagine. I know intimately what that feels like.”
“You do? What happened?”
“I thought I’d be with Jackson for all my days, but he felt differently.”
“What?” I sit back in my chair, my hand dropping to my lap. Jackson is a disgustingly happy married man, and I didn’t know there had been someone before Emily. When we all served together, the guys would joke about Jackson being married to the Marines because it had been his life’s purpose and he never dated. I assumed he met Emily during his rehab with Avery since she’s also a physical therapist. Dumbfounded, I ask, “You and Jackson dated? When?”
“Shortly after he returned to Richmond. It only lasted a few months, but I’ve loved him my entire life.”
“I don’t…I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s fine.” She waves a hand in the air. “We’re not here to talk about me. Did something happen to bring back your memories?”
“I had a seizure.”
“Oh, my god.”
“As you put it, it’s fine. Not my first. Probably not my last. Side effect of the concussion from hell.”
“Jordan. That’s terrible.”
“Yeah. But not as terrible as remembering the morning after you had the best sex of your life with the person you love. The same person you thought was with you because they cared about you. Now, I’m wondering if she was just using me for my dick.”
“Hmm.” She hides her amusement behind her glass as she takes a sip.
“What?”
“For her to fake date you in your condition and with your history…it can’t be that magnificent.”
“What can’t be that magnificent?” I ask, setting down the beer I picked up before the odd question left her mouth.
“Your…” She wiggles a finger at my lap.
I look down, solve the mystery, then return her gaze with a smug grin. “She always seemed to think so. Seemed to think so last night with each of her four orgasms.”
Her jaw goes lax before she slowly closes it. “You’re exaggerating. Who has four orgasms?”
“She does, apparently.”
Avery tosses the straw from her glass and gulps down half the liquid inside. It dribbles down her chin before she catches it with a napkin.
“You’re blushing.”
“I don’t blush.” She sets the napkin over her thighs and crosses them.
“And you’re fidgeting. Whatever is the matter, Avery?” I tease, enjoying the carefree conversation. Nora and I used to have the same before…
“What is it?” Avery asked, leaning on the table. “Did you remember something else? You’ve gone pale.”
Ignoring her, my thoughts dive deeper into the past. To a wedding reception.
◆◆◆
10 Months Ago
“Are you going to go talk to her or just stand here, gawking at her like a jackass?” Mark asks. We’ve been friends since Basic, both serving under Jackson before transferring to Sergeant Montgomery’s unit together. He doesn’t know my history with the most beautiful woman to grace my presence. I save that for my closest confidants. But any fool can read my face and follow my eyes. They’ve been laser-focused on Nora since she walked in.
In a crowded room at Jackson and Emily’s estate, even through the dim light, commotion, and music, there’s no denying how much I need my hands on her. Need to hear her sexy voice and get lost in her gaze. Both are beyond tempting. More than dangerous. I’ve never been able to resist her, and at this moment, I don’t want to.
Two months ago, I saw her for the first time after a long separation. We’d both gone to the same restaurant with friends—she’s sitting with some of them now. At that run-in, we didn’t talk much beyond an awkward greeting. For some reason, she seemed embarrassed to know me, but then again, that’s normal Nora behavior when it comes to me.
I brushed it off after several unsuccessful attempts to get her alone so we could catch up, but that one interaction was enough to replant her firmly in my thoughts. I haven’t been able to dig her out of my mind since. No matter how she treats me, it’s like I’m addicted to her, willing to endure whatever for one glance, one touch, one moment of her attention. And after seeing her in the tight, green dress tonight, hugging her hips and dropping off her silky shoulders, I need to touch her before I implode.
I take a step in her direction, ignoring the crude encouragement Mark’s spouting behind me. My resolve is dialed in, my target selected. There’s no escaping. I will have what I want this time.
Halfway to the contact point, she notices me. My hand casually slides into my pocket, over-confidence and four beers fueling my swagger. Our eyes lock and some sputtering nonsense flutters in my chest as she watches me approach. The other women turn in my direction when she disengages from their conversation. They scatter like mice when the cat struts into the room. Yeah, that’s me—a cat on the prowl for his next meal. And that delicious meal is Nora Jean Taylor.
Once she’s in my arms, I will devour her. Inch by inch, I will taste and savor and—
Within touching distance now, her scent washes over me, and I freeze. The combination of lavender and something else I’ve never encountered before is different than I remember. Stronger, sexier. It’s enough to knock my confidence down three notches and reduce me to a pile of mush at her feet. Then again, she could rub on dirt from the garden and dress in a paper bag, and I’d still find her irresistible.
“Hi,” I say with all the suave I can muster from the slivers that remain.
“Hi. I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Wouldn’t miss it. You look beautiful as always.”
“Thank you.”
Enveloped in her calming scent, I stare through the haze, trying to capture a clear memory of her in this moment. How the overhead string lights sparkle in her eyes. The soft wave of her long hair, spilling over her right shoulder. The sultry way she’s holding my gaze with intrigue and challenge.
Is she glad to see me? Her welcoming posture, shoulders open toward me instead of curved away as she was at the restaurant, eyes bright, and crooked smile, tells me she’s not retreating or hiding tonight. She’s inviting me to take a shot at seducing her and in front of all these people. She brings her wine glass to her lips and sips while holding eye contact. Damn, I hope alcohol isn’t what’s fueling this change in her.
“Do you want to sit?” she asks, resting the base of the glass on her shoulder. But the question only shocks me into another stupor. Based on our last interaction, it’s the exact opposite response I expect, quadrupling my already crippling desire for her.
“Actually, I rather dance.” I reach out a hand and count the heart beats drumming in my ears until her palm slides over mine. It’s warm and velvet soft and bringing back memories of the hours I spent exploring every inch of her skin.
Lacing our fingers together, I lead the way through the intermingling couples to the dance floor. Spinning her around, I take in the view before pulling her close. We sway to the beat while the lead singer of Journey belts the lyrics of Separate Ways. How ironic this song should play now.
Here we standWorlds apart, hearts broken in two
Someday love will find youTrue love won’t desert you
You know I still love youThough we touched and went our separate ways
It might as well be our theme song. I’ve always loved this girl, yet I walk away over and over. Why? Is it because that’s what she wants? What about what I want? Having her back in my arms and feeling her melt into me breathes life and a new resolve into me. My life had been empty without her, and I didn’t know.
This is what I want. Her with me always. I can’t let her go this time. I won’t.
◆◆◆
The waiter returns with our orders, snapping me back to the present.
“Jordan,” Avery says cautiously, setting a hand on mine. “Give me the bottle.”
“What?”
“Give it to me before you crush it.”
Still caught between the past and present, my gaze shifts to her touch. She gently peels my aching fingers from around the glass, then sets it aside, watching me closely.
“Shake it out and breathe,” she instructs.
Too confused to think for myself, I flex my hand to relieve the stiffness as instructed. I inhale, but instead of filling me with calm, all the emotions I kept bottled up since leaving VETS burn hot and sprint through my body, erupting at the same time.
“Jordan, breathe,” she says with more sharpness this time and demonstrates. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. I focus on her, doing as she encourages. It wouldn’t seem so impossible if my world wasn’t in the process of crashing down around me.
I continue to mimic the motion until I crawl through the wreckage. The air in my lungs feels thin and lacking life-sustaining quality, but at least I can breathe normally again.
“You zoned out for a few minutes before panic took over.”
“Yeah. Reliving the buried past will do that.”
“Where’d you go?”
My throat feels like I swallowed a spoonful of powder. I reach for her water and gulp half of it to keep my throat from closing. “Back ten months,” I finally answer.
She counts on her fingers. “December? What happened in—Oh, Jackson and Emily’s wedding. I remember you and Nora that night at the reception. You looked so happy. I hated you something fierce.”
A rumble in my chest ignites a chuckle, and it feels good. “You hated us?”
“Oh yeah. I’d never been more miserable than I was that day.”
“I get it.”
She bites a fry and my stomach churns. Food no longer appeals. I rather drown my frustrations, sorrow, anger in a keg of beer. Reaching across the table, I retrieve the bottle Avery took away from me and drink.
“What happened after the reception? I shot dagger eyes at your back as you two drunken lovebirds left together. I thought you were going to undress right there in the foyer.”
“We made it to the car first…barely.”
“Was she unable to resist that magnificent dick of yours?”
“Precisely.”
Her easy laughter settles me until my phone vibrates in my front pocket. I react with a jolt, and she follows my gaze.
“Everything okay down there?” A sensual nibble on the fry steals my attention, and I roll my eyes in response before reading the text message.
Nora:Where are you?
Nora:I’m worried sick.
“You’ve lost your sexy glow again. Is that from Nora?”
“Yes. She’s wondering where I am.” I stare at the screen, debating on responding or tossing the phone into the mop bucket I see within range. I played basketball in high school. I could totally make it.
“You should respond.”
“Why?” I ask, meeting her watchful gaze.
“Because she wouldn’t be faking it with you if she didn’t care.”
“Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”
“Yes. But hear me out.” She interprets my long, audible exhale as consent. “She could have easily told Josie to deal with you herself. Instead…” Her voice projects slightly louder when I scoff. “Instead, she drops everything to be by your side. There’s no way that was a simple decision for her.”
“Avery, she fucked me like I meant something to her.”
“Maybe you do. Have you considered that?”
A young couple walking by the window catches my attention, and I ponder that new idea. I can’t get far enough past my shock to consider it a real contender. There are too many hurtful actions and words left unsaid, poking holes in the theory.
My gaze follows the happy couple until they pass a group of people entering a store. Next to the store, a woman with long brown hair sits on a bench. She’s staring at her phone, her legs crossed and bouncing nervously. She drops the device onto the wooden seat with frustration and glances across the street, her arms folding over her chest.
“Shit.”
“What?” Avery leans on the empty chair next to her to look out at the city beyond the restaurant. “Is that…”
“Nora.”
“You should be there, talking with her. Not me.”
“But I’m enjoying your company, and you’re the only one who hasn’t screwed me.”
“Not yet.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Your magical dick has me intrigued.”
“Shut up. That’s not what I meant, and I know you’re taken.”
She puffs. “How do you know that? I haven’t mentioned dating anyone.”
“You flirt differently than I remember witnessing with others. Innocent, in a way.”
“Maybe you just don’t do it for me.”
A dismissive snicker escapes my throat. “Right. I believed you when you said my competence intrigued you, but not enough to believe you’d go for it if offered.”
“You think you’re so smart.”
“And right.” My attention drifts back to Nora outside. The woman I love. The woman who ripped out my heart and stomped on it at least twice. Who knows how many more there are that I don’t remember?
“You should go to her or let me bring her to you,” Avery suggests.
“No. She should have to suffer a little while longer.” I take a swig of beer. “Plus, I’m not ready to hear her excuses yet.”
“Suit yourself.” She picks up her massive burger with two hands and takes a bite, moaning as she chews. “Oh, my god, this is so delicious.”
“Yeah?” Her tongue swipes the juice and sauce from her lips, and my mouth waters. Not from the sensual motion and sounds she’s making while she enjoys the flavors, but because I’m hungry again. Picking up the large slippery sandwich with one hand isn’t as easy as it sounded when I ordered. “Is there anything I can do to entice you to cut mine so I can join you?”
Incredulous, she stops chewing and stares at me for a bit. “That’s Nora’s job,” she says with a full mouth. “I’m just the chauffeur slash commiserating buddy.”
“Come on. I’ll starve.”
She bats her lashes at me, seemingly unconcerned with my plight, then drops her burger on the plate with a sigh.
“Apparently, sexy blue eyes are my weakness. Pass it over.”