Chapter 10 Eli
Eli
She’s ignoring me. I mean, I don’t blame her, but I need to see her. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to explain myself for weeks now. How do I tell her what happened? How do I convince her that I needed a little time? That I can make things work if she’s willing to try again.
I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t forgive me. Hell, I wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to me again. Right now, though, I need to know what’s going through her mind.
It’s the middle of the day on a Tuesday, which means she should be at the shop—the shop I’ve been avoiding like a coward.
How does one come back from that? I kicked her out of my house after having sex, as I spun wild stories in my head about being a cheating husband while she ran out of there crying, with tears streaming down her face. It’s unforgivable.
The worst part? Lara was the kind of person who’d want me to move on.
She told me one night when we were tucked into bed together, that if she ever left before me, I was to find someone else.
Someone young, hot, and funny. Lara wanted me happy, more than anything else in the world, and I… I ran away at the first sign of it.
When Lara died, I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. What if it happens again? What if having Tucker is supposed to be enough? It feels greedy to have more.
“Well, I gave up calling and went by the house, but she’s not there. And why does it look like she’s been sleeping on the couch?” Hazel’s voice rings through the shop the second I yank the door open. If there wasn’t a goddamn bell attached to it, I would’ve snuck right back outside. Hazel is…a lot.
“Oh no, you don’t, asshole. Get your fine ass in here and start explaining what the fuck is going on.” Hazel pins me with a glare. Chuck Massy’s eyes widen, a hand barely hiding the smile he’s trying so desperately to smother.
“What’s wrong this time, Haze?”
“Don’t you Haze me.” Her eyes narrow, hands gripping her hips. “Our beloved Sibby has gone missing, and you two have been weird for weeks.”
“She’s right about that.” Chuck cocks his head.
“What do you mean by missing?”
“She’s ignoring my calls. When I called here, Chuck said she left for the day—nay, the next two days. So I stopped by her house, but she’s not there. Her comforter and pillows are on the couch.”
My heart cracks in half, knowing I’m the cause of Sibyl’s pain—the reason she’s avoiding her bedroom, avoiding me, and by extension, Tucker. My boy misses her something fierce. And it’s all my fault.
“Dad!” Kellan’s voice booms when he runs in from the shop. “Where’s Sibyl’s car?”
Chuck shrugs. “She said you put it out.”
“Fuck.” Kellan runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t finish! I just needed the space.”
“Shit.” Chuck reaches for the landline, dialing her number. We wait, holding our breaths. Then the sound of a phone vibrating on the desk, makes my heart drop into my stomach.
“Fuck!” Kellan turns to look at Hazel the moment her gasp echoes through the room. “What the fuck are you two doing here?”
Hazel is stuck staring at her phone, unintelligible squeaks coming out of her mouth.
“I’m just looking for Sybil.” I shrug.
“Why? You two haven’t talked in weeks.” Kellan glares at me, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I know why!” Hazel screeches, shoving her phone under Kellan’s nose.
I have an idea what she’s looking at. It’s not until Kellan’s face turns a shade of red so deep it looks purple that I know for sure they’re watching the video.
I haven’t seen it, but I saw a photo in the email we got.
Only the cover photo of the gallery Ramona sent us.
We’re in the water, and Sibyl is smiling at me like I hung the moon.
My hand is cupping the side of her face, eyes trained on her.
I took a screenshot, not ready to see the rest of the gallery. But I got annoyed opening the email every time I wanted to see it—to see her looking at me like that.
I kissed her so much that afternoon. I wonder if the video is just five minutes straight of us making out.
“You son of a bi—” Kellan comes at me, his arm cranked back like he’s going to hit me when Chuck clears his throat.
“What’s Juniper Hills?” He’s staring at the screen on Sybil’s bright pink cell phone, eyes creased with worry. “And why is she applying for a job there?”
“Shit.” Hazel whips her head back to me. “What did you do, Logan?”
“Nothing worth mentioning to you,” I grumble, heading for the door.
“Now wait a damn minute!” Kellan stomps after me, with Hazel on his heels, and Chuck flipping the closed sign on the shop. “Where are you going?” Kellan grabs my arm, spinning me around. I half expect his fist to crack my jaw open.
“I’m going after Sib.” I wave an arm at my truck.
“Well, let’s go then.” Chuck gets in my front seat, Hazel and Kellan climbing in the back.
Goddamn this weird ass family.
“Sooo…” Hazel leans forward on the center console. “What’d you do? Huh?”
“I fucked up,” I grumble.
Backing onto the main road, I drive toward the highway.
“I’ll say.” Kellan glares at me in the rearview mirror.
“Kissing her wasn’t the mistake.”
“That’s debatable,” he grunts.
“I didn’t know she’d be the match at that photoshoot. I had no idea she even liked me. The second I turned around, though, something just…clicked.”
“You didn’t know she likes you?” Kellan looks incredulous.
“I had no—“
“What’s Juniper Hills?” Chuck interrupts.
“It’s a fancy spa,” I say.
“Rich-people spa,” Hazel says at the same time. “How do you know about it?” she gasps, her head whipping my direction.
“Lara loved it,” I whisper.
“Oh.” Hazel pats my shoulder, swiping over to answer as her phone rings. “Hello, lover.”
“Don’t hello lover me!” Taylor’s voice crackles over the speakerphone. “Why is your GPS moving out of town, and why did I see you in Logan’s truck, with not one but three guys that aren’t me?”
“It’s not three random guys.” Hazel rolls her eyes, a wicked smile on her face.
“Hey, T, can you get Tuck from school today?” I glance down at the phone, surprised to see Taylor’s face glaring at me.
“Can I pick up your son while you abscond with my wife? No. Call Tori. I’m coming after you guys.”
“No, you are not,” Hazel growls. “We’re going after Sibby. No need to get all possessive. It’s literally Dad Massy, and these two goons, who you know I loathe more than I like.”
“Baby, we’ve talked about this. You can’t just run around with other guys. I can’t—”
“I’ll make it up to you tonight.” Hazel drops her voice low and suggestive.
“Fine. I’ll grab Tucker. What time will you be back?”
“Depends on how far she made it.” Kellan pipes up from the backseat.
“Alright, fine. Take care of my wife, assholes.”
Chuck clears his throat.
“Not you, Dad.” Taylor hangs up the phone real quick.
We’ve all called Chuck, dad, since high school. The Massy house was the place we hung out. When our shitty home lives became too much, he was the dad we needed. The safe space. It’s where Taylor met Hazel.
Shit, my first date with Lara was to a family dinner at the Massy house.
I was fascinated by their dynamic, seeing people who actually loved each other.
Lara’s family was like that, too. She thought I was adorable, bringing her to their family dinner.
She took me to hers the next week, and that was the night I fell in love with her.
Her rosy cheeks and freckles flash into my mind. Her bright smile, curly hair. Just like always, that happy smiling face I fell in love with turns gray. Lifeless. Those curls I loved so much spread out around her like a halo, covering the table.
A moan rips from my chest; a sob stuck in my throat as I park the truck on the side of the road. Kellan follows me out. He’s seen me like this before. Talked me through a panic attack once or twice. Let me cry without issuing a single judgment.
My hands find my knees, breath coming in shaky as I try to push the image aside. The last time I saw her, laid out on a fucking table where I had to tell the police, “Yes, that is Lara Logan. Mother of my child, love of my life. Dead on a table.”
“I can’t—” I grab Kellan’s arms, pleading with my eyes. “I can’t do it again.”
“I know, Bud.” Kellan hauls me into his chest. He’s a big dude, built like his dad, which is to say, like a bear. Kellan and Chuck have to be at least two fifty a piece, coming in somewhere around six foot three or four. I’ve never asked, knowing the answer would make my six-two feel short.
He waits until my breathing is back to normal, then clasps me on both shoulders.
“You know I can’t tell you that everything will be alright. I can’t tell you nothing is going to happen to her, but I can tell you that you’d never find someone better than my sister. If you’re serious about settling down with someone again, she’s worth the risk.”
“I know.” I’m barely able to whisper. I know I’ll never find better, because she is the best. She’s the one for us, and we’ve fucking missed her.
I know what it feels like to lose someone, to have to come to terms with never seeing them again, and I refuse to do that with her.
As long as we’re both breathing, I will do everything in my power to keep her.
“Then let’s go find her.” Kellan grins, shoving me toward the back door of the pickup. He climbs behind the wheel, and we continue down the road.