Chapter 13
Eli
“I can love you both,” I whisper, my voice growing desperate.
I just told Sibyl I’m in love with her, and she’s…staring at me. Her eyes unblinking, growing silvery with tears.
“I can’t replace her,” she finally whispers. Her voice barely audible over the sounds of the diner.
“I’m not asking you to. I don’t want you to be Lara. I want you, Sibyl Massy, just the way you are.”
“I’m scared you’ll change your mind. What if, in six months, you wake up and realize this is not what you wanted?”
“Not gonna happen. I swear to you, it’s not going to happen.”
“But it could! You could hate the way I sleep, or get annoyed at the way I breathe. Or…I don’t know. What if I clip my toenails on the bathroom floor and they stab the bottoms of your feet and you’re constantly having to yell at me for it?”
“Do you leave toenail clippings on the floor?” Hazel leans forward, her eyes wide.
“Of course not,” Sibyl hisses at her.
“Hazel.” I turn to pin her with a glare. “You wanna fuck off now?”
Hazel scoffs. “I certainly do not.”
“Haze, the cherry pie is good.” Sibyl smiles at her.
“Sibs, I love you, but I do not want pie right now.” Hazel crinkles her nose at us.
“Hazel,” I bark. “Go away.”
“Sheesh, fine. I’m going. Don’t have to get all grumpy about it.” Hazel rolls her eyes at me, slips out of the booth, joins the other tagalongs at the bar, and steals Kellan’s pie.
“Sibyl, relationships are about compromise. It’s not going to be perfect—none of them are. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.”
“You and Lara were perfect, though. Your expectations have to be sky-high.”
A laugh bursts out of me. “We were not perfect—at all. We fought all the time. Lara was constantly mad at me for something. We didn’t love each other any less because of it. We chose to work through those problems together.”
“This feels crazy. Doesn’t it feel crazy to you?”
“Yeah, it does. Crazy in a good way. Crazy like I’m the luckiest guy in the world that you’d even want to spend time with me.”
“Of course I want to spend time with you. You’re one of my best friends, and I love that little boy.”
My chest warms, heart expanding like a hot air balloon. “He loves you, too. We both do.”
Her cheeks flush, a blush works up her neck—all the way to the tips of her ears.
“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember,” she whispers, her eyes glancing through long lashes.
“And I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.
” I slide my hand up her jaw, fingers cupping the back of her neck.
“I don’t need time to know that I want you in my life.
If I didn’t think it’d send you running for the hills, I’d take you to Prescott’s and get you a ring right now.
It’ll never be enough—the time I get with you.
I know the way loss can sneak up on us. I know we’re not guaranteed tomorrow, and I’m not about to waste any more precious seconds when you could be mine. ”
She works through a swallow, her head bobbing on a nod.
“Then date me, you crazy person. Don’t jump straight to marriage and living together.
Date me, until the house is ready. And then, if you haven’t changed your mind and you’re sure you want to leave the house with all of Lara’s memories, we’ll move into the big house. ”
“Deal.” I smile into her mouth, pressing my lips into hers. Sibyl greets me, her body surging into mine. The kiss devolves into something more needy, hungrier than it started.
Hazel’s voice goes up in a cheer, drowning out the sound of someone hacking. I’d bet anything it’s Kellan, choking on a bite of pie.
“Should we make a run for it?” I whisper.
“My keys are in the cupholder...” She grins, mischievous eyes meeting mine. “It should probably be towed, though.” She grimaces. “Turns out Kellan didn’t fix it after all.”
“What’s wrong with it, exactly?” I ask, offering her a hand as I haul myself out of the booth.
“The brakes don’t work one hundred percent of the time…” She gives me a nervous smile.
“Jesus.” I wrap an arm around her shoulders, hauling her into my side. “I’m going to have words with your brother. You can’t drive something that isn’t safe.”
“He’s hoping that if he takes long enough, I’ll give up and buy something new.”
“Didn’t he just put a transmission in?”
“I did.” Kellan pops up behind us. “I’m tired of fixing the same car. I’m a body guy, Sibs. I hate mechanic work.”
“Ahh,” Sibyl croons, looking back at Kellan as we make our way out the door. “But you’re so good at it.”
Kellan narrows his eyes at her.
“Hey, Dad.” Sibyl smiles at Chuck. I let her go so she can hug him. “Sorry to scare you guys.”
“That’s okay, Sugar Plum.” Chuck gives her a toothy grin before jumping into the passenger seat again.
Sibyl glances at her car, a little pout on her face.
“I’ll have it towed.” I run my thumb along her pouty lip.
“Okay,” she concedes, following Hazel into the backseat.
“Did you watch the video?” Hazel practically shouts at Sibyl.
“Hey, man.” Kellan stops me at the driver’s side door. “You sure about this? About her?”
“I am.” I nod.
“Hell yeah.” He pulls me into a hug. “It’s about time!”
“Weren’t you just about to punch me at the shop?”
“That was just my initial reaction to seeing you kiss my sister. Let’s try to do that as little as possible. Yeah?”
“Cover your eyes then.” I wink, climbing into the truck next to Sibyl. “I don’t plan on wasting a single second not kissing your sister.”
Kellan groans, uttering curses as he pulls himself into the driver’s seat. “This is going to be a problem, isn’t it?”
Sibyl gives him a shit-eating grin. “More like my new life mission.”
Cool, soft fingers weave through my hair, pulling me into her. Pillowy lips tug at mine with a tenderness I’m still not used to. Chuck whistles, Hazel whoops beside us.
“Alright, we get it. You’re a thing now,” Kellan groans. “Stop it, Sibs, please.”
Sibyl giggles, trying to pull back, but I swing her onto my lap, flashbacks of that afternoon play in my mind—the way she rode my hand, right there in the parking lot. God, this girl was made for me.
“Hey,” she whispers, dark hair dropping like a curtain between us and the rest of the truck.
“Hey, gorgeous, I’ve been missing you.”
“I’ve been missing you, too. I miss Tucker.” Her sweet voice breaks, sending a dagger straight through my heart.
“Baby.” I swipe a tear off her cheek. “I’m so sorry. He’s missing you, too.”
“Can I come home with you tonight? I want to see him.”
A weight lifts off my chest as I tuck her into me. “You can come over whenever you want. Stay as long as you want.”
She chuckles, burying her face into my neck, as one hand reaches up to trace a path down my face.
“I like the beard,” she muses, fingers scratching my facial hair.
I haven’t had a beard since Lara died. She always liked me with facial hair.
The past three weeks, I haven’t had it in me for a full shave.
I’ve trimmed it once or twice, but this is the longest I’ve ever let it go.
All my downtime has consisted of trying to figure out how to get here: with Sibyl in my lap, and some kind of plan for the future.
The one where I get to keep her.