Don’t Leave Me Behind
An Excerpt From Kane Ridge Ranch Book One
Don’t Leave Me Behind
Clay
There’s someone outside the cabin.
I swear I heard a car door thud. It was quiet, muffled, like someone parked far enough away that I’d be less likely to hear it.
This feels like the beginning of a bad joke.
I swear to God, if Adler is out there sneaking up on the cabin, I’m going to kill him.
Slipping out of bed, I pad to the top of the stairs, squinting through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the front of Leni’s cabin.
The moon is high and bright, painting the landscape outside, but I still can’t see anything that looks out of place.
Picking my way down the metal and wood staircase, I tiptoe over to the entry.
It’s possible that someone stopped along the highway and got out to take a piss, but I’m far enough from the road that I doubt I’d hear that.
No, someone’s on Kane land, real close to Leni’s cabin.
If they’re here, expecting to find her asleep in her bed, they’re in for a surprise.
A steady cadence of thuds indicates footsteps on the deck.
I scan the living room for a weapon, remembering at the last second that I cleaned my rifle when I got home from work tonight.
Adrenaline floods my veins as I tiptoe into the kitchen, where my duty rifle leans against a white wooden chair.
Moonlight glimmers off the freshly oiled barrel.
The magazine sits on the kitchenette table next to it.
Five rounds, that’s as far as I got before I squirreled my attention away to dinner and left it for tomorrow.
I grab the gun and feed the magazine into its slot, hoping whoever is outside doesn’t hear the click as it snaps into place.
My fingers pull back the charging handle as a key slides into the lock. Who the fuck has a key? No one in the family would sneak in here, not in the middle of the night. They know it would be a bad idea.
So, who is messing with me tonight?
Keeping the rifle ready in my hands, I wait, trying to hear over the sound of my heart banging against my chest. Anticipation coils deep in my gut.
There’s a pause once the door opens, the moonlight illuminating a silhouette that doesn’t look like any of the Kane boys or the ranch hands.
I’m about to demand they identify themselves when there’s a crash, and the intruder goes flying to the ground.
I shoulder the rifle, ready to defend myself, before flicking on the lights. It only takes a couple of blinks before I can clearly see what’s in front of me, and I think my heart stops beating for a second, because here she is.
The girl I’ve been avoiding since I was twenty-one, only, this is not the eighteen-year-old girl I saw last…
holy shit. She is breathtakingly beautiful.
Air rips from my lungs as I take her in.
Long brown hair fans out around her head, wispy bangs hanging on either side of her face.
Those big green eyes looking up at me with confusion, her movements slow and apprehensive.
The terror in those eyes takes me back ten years.
I swore to myself I’d never give her a reason to look at me like that again, but here we are.
Her hands are trembling in surrender while I’m pointing a gun at her, in her own cabin.
Why...why is she sneaking into the cabin when she’s supposed to know I’m here?
“What. The. Fuck?” she snarls.
I move the barrel of the rifle away, aiming at the floor.
A sound somewhere between a groan and a growl escapes her as she struggles to stand.
Did I shoot her and not remember? Was she hurt somehow?
I take inventory when she’s standing in front of me, checking for injury.
Her hoodie hangs loosely on her, the sleeves bunching at her wrists, too long for her short arms. Black leggings hug every single curve and dip of her legs, drawing my eyes straight down to the bright pink running shoes on her feet.
There’s no blood or wounds that I can see, and while I want to sigh in relief, I’m too aware of how close I came to shooting her. I can’t believe I aimed a gun at Leni. Mercer’s little sister, baby girl of the entire Kane family.
My Leni.
I could have shot her.
With that thought, I drop the rifle, stumbling back.
Leni tilts her head, her lips moving, but I can’t hear anything other than the word shot, ricocheting through my brain like a fucking pinball.
I’m no longer in the cabin. Even though I can see her, her words don’t reach me.
Instead, my heart hammers out a steady beat to a volley of gunshots and mortar rounds, to shouts of ‘Grenade!’ and ‘Medic!’ I glance down at my hands; they’re red, covered in the blood of a fallen Marine, and I can’t breathe.
My chest tightens, black creeping at the edges of my vision, every inhale a struggle.
It’s been years since I’ve had an attack this bad.
I’ve gone through extensive therapy, done the hard work to get myself out of the dark, and back into something resembling a real, living human again.
This isn’t supposed to be happening, especially not in front of Leni.
I claw at my shirt, desperate to rip the fabric off, as if that might help me breathe.
I watch from a distance, detached, while Leni kneels in front of me.
She touches my face, and my hands itch to defend myself from a threat that isn’t real.
I will not hurt her, no matter how fucked up my brain is right now.
I will not hurt Leni. Not again.
Her lips are moving, but I still can’t hear anything past the sounds of gunfire and explosions. I flinch as a mortar round lands too close to us.
Clay. Her lips make the shape of my name, repeatedly, but I can’t break through, can’t claw my way to the surface to reach her.
I want to yell at her to go, will myself to fucking pass out, and be done with this whole thing.
I don’t want to see her look at me with pity and concern, or worse, fear.
She’s looked at me with fear in her eyes before.
I thought it would destroy me; part of me died that day.
I should’ve known Eleanor Kane doesn’t scare easily.
She proved that ten years ago, showing up on my doorstep, willing to lose herself to fix me.
I should’ve expected that same look of sheer determination now, as her eyes dart around, searching for a solution.
I feel as lost as she looks; none of my usual panic attack exercises come to mind.
Maybe the lack of sleep is catching up to me.
I should’ve taken the damn sleeping pills Doc prescribed. This is exactly what I want to avoid.
Clay. Those pretty, pink lips, mouth once more. Something like hesitation sparks to life in her deep green eyes. I try to look away, shame gnawing at me, my lungs tightening. She doesn’t let me. Soft fingers guide my face back to hers as she leans forward and crashes her lips against mine.
The moment her lips touch mine, it’s like someone hit pause, and I remember how to breathe again.
There’s no more gunshots, no more screaming; only ragged breathing and jittery hands as the adrenaline seeps out of my body.
I reach for her, needing something solid, something real to hold onto, careful not to grip too tight.
I’m desperate to make sure she’s actually there, kissing me.
Her scent of lilacs and vanilla wafts from her undone hair into my nose.
A scent so familiar and nostalgic that my chest starts to hurt for a different reason.
Wrapping my arms around her, I haul her into me, crushing her body against my chest, kissing her back.
She tenses, muscles locking up beneath my hands.
Pain slices through my lip as she sinks her teeth in.
It’s not a love bite, but a warning. I jerk back, slamming my head into the wall as she scrambles off me.
Her chest rises and falls with each ragged breath she takes.
Her hands shake, and when she manages to open her eyes to look at me, I gasp.
She’s angry. Livid. I think I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen Leni this angry.
The taste of iron fills my mouth, the sting barely enough to rein me in.
Leni Kane was in my lap, kissing me. I’m really fucking trying to remind myself why I can’t go there with her, but it’s so damn hard.
Breathing the same air, staring at that gorgeous face.
I realize how badly I still want her, even with that scowl.
“What the fuck are you doing in my cabin, Clay?”
I barely suppress the shudder that threatens to overtake me when she says my name. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her. Too long since I’ve heard her voice, even if my name is dripping with venom when she says it. After a decade of doing my best to avoid her, I deserve that.
“Your parents have those corporate retreat things going on, and I felt like I was getting in the way. Mercer told me he asked you. He said you weren’t coming back for the summer, so I’ve been staying here the past couple of months.”
“Oh.” Her eyes dart toward the door, then back to me. Fear and uncertainty fill them. That fear shouldn’t be there, and knowing I caused it makes me sick to my stomach.
“I thought you knew.” Scrubbing both hands down my face, I try to rein in the emotions I have flooding in and out of my system. “I, uh, I’ll head over to Merc’s. Come back for my stuff in the morning.”
“No!” she says.
I crook an eyebrow at her, wondering, for the first time, what the hell she’s doing here in the middle of the night.
“No, sorry…fuck.” She draws her knees up into her chest, pulling her sleeves down and around her thumbs the way she used to when she was younger. “I don’t want them to know I’m here.”
“They’re gonna know you’re here, Len. That’s why your dad wanted you in this cabin, so they can keep an eye on you.”
“No, I know. I’m not an amateur.” She rolls her eyes, huffing in frustration. Fuck she’s cute. “I’ve done it before. I park in the trees, keep the lights off after dark. I just…I need a few days to regroup before they get all up in my business again.”
I highly doubt they don’t know when she’s here. It’s more believable that they realize when she sneaks back home and figures she wants to be left alone.
My fingers itch with the desire to pull her back into me.
To feel the weight of her in my arms. I’d do anything if she’d let me kiss her again, just one more time.
It’ll never be enough where Leni is concerned, but it would be something.
The longer I hesitate, the more restless she becomes, crossing and uncrossing her arms, straightening her legs only to pull them back to her chest. Something’s wrong.
Something happened, and I want to fix it.
Not that I have any right or that I should even be looking at her like this, but I still want to fix it. Leni in pain will never do.
Ever.
“Right, I—uh. I’ll crash out on the couch until morning and go get a room from the Inn. No big deal.”
She looks aghast, like I told some salacious bit of gossip. “You can’t go to the inn! Then everyone will know.”
“Know what, Leni?”
“Why would you leave here to stay at the inn?”
“I don’t know, because you…” Oh. She rolls her eyes at me again, and I can’t lie, the sass she’s giving me is doing nothing to help the situation that has arisen in my pants. I mean, she was just sitting on me, kissing me. It’s not entirely my fault.
Okay, fuck, it is my fault, and I feel like a fucking creep right now. Drawing one of my legs up, I try to hide the fact that I am sporting a semi-hard dick.
It’s not solely the kiss; it's everything about her. Freckles dust her nose, which still crinkles when she’s annoyed.
Her hair’s shorter than I remember, but it looks good.
Natural waves hit right below her shoulders.
I want to reach forward, run my hands through it again, wrap it around my fist while I—you know what?
Nope. Down boy. You are not going there. Not with Leni fucking Kane.
The realization of what she hasn’t said hits me like a bucket of ice-cold water. Does she really think we can stay here together? “You want me to stay here with you?”
She’s been back in my life for all of five minutes, and I’ve already had my tongue in her mouth. I have zero control when it comes to this girl. I’ve worked my ass off to stay away from her, so I wouldn’t have to deal with this.
Eleanor is all sunshine and goodness, and she deserves someone who can reflect that back. Not someone dark and twisted like me. I won’t saddle her with my mess when she has her whole life ahead of her.
“Yeah, Clay, that’s the idea.”
“No,” I snap, the words coming out harsher than I mean. Pushing off the floor, I stomp up the stairs. I need to get my shit and get out of here before I do something even more stupid.
Something I can’t take back.
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