14. Ava
14
AVA
E lijah’s hiding something from me.
Has been for the last few days. Since I got here, really.
It’s this pesky little secret that comes to light every time he looks at me. That first glance always gives away his concern—the weight he carries on his shoulders is visible within those seconds before it’s replaced with want so consuming that I drown in those hazel eyes.
A longing that mirrors my own.
Unexplained and so sudden, but it’s also a reminder of why I can’t give in to these desires.
The last thing I’d ever want is Elijah in danger because his focus isn’t on what matters: finding Jason and making sure he never sees daylight again. For me. For past victims. Detective Ford can’t afford to be distracted, and on the same note, I can’t let my guard down.
“After you,” Elijah says then, turning me to face the entryway before stepping back. Eli’s fingers slip from mine and skim up my arm, then across my back to settle just above the waistline of my yoga pants. Low enough to tempt but still be appropriate. “I’ll close and lock up.”
With a brief smile, he gives me a gentle nudge forward, and a shiver rushes up my spine as his pinky extends to caress the bare skin there. “Thank you.” It leaves me in a low whisper as goosebumps rise on my arms. Ignoring my attraction to him is getting harder and harder by the minute. Nearly impossible.
You can’t, Ava. Don’t put him in a position where he could be hurt.
That reminder—my motto—feels like being doused with ice-cold water. It centers me enough that I fake it the best way I know how and step away from his touch. Squaring my shoulders hurts, and so does the loss of that masculine scent of warmth and earth with a hint of sea salt that’s uniquely him.
I don’t stop until I’m in the living room, where another face greets me. “Hi.”
“Good to see you again, Miss Perry.” Captain Perez stands, hand extended toward me, and I take it, giving it a small shake before pulling back. Two steps are all I get before Eli is beside me and watching our encounter with curiosity.
“Likewise.” There’s an oversized chair to my right, and I take a seat there, ignoring the urge to move closer to the man currently driving me insane.
“ Again .” Eli doesn’t ask. It’s more of a demand for answers.
“Yeah.” My eyes flick to his boss, and he gives me a nod. Okay. So, I guess this one is on me. “We spoke through a video conference call when I was told I’d be transferring to Los Angeles. He was nice enough to try and give me some reassurance—explain what to expect and my accommodations.” At my explanation, Elijah just stares. Nothing in his facial expression gives way to his thoughts. “He’s the one that promised to place his best in charge of my protection. He gave me you.”
“I see.” That’s all he says, and I look at Perez for some help.
Can I be mad at him? No. Not really.
Not when we all have secrets. Even if it’s not done with malicious intent.
“How about we focus on what’s important here.” Perez’s tone holds an edge of anger. It simmers beneath the surface, and once again, fear strikes me. I’ve seen the news coverage. The two missing girls. “What did Meyers say, Ava?”
“He wanted to know if I was alone. If Elijah left a file behind for him to pick?—”
“Word for word, Ava.” This comes from Detective Ford. His tone is brusque and full of ire. My eyes meet his, and gone is the soft look or cocky grin. At this moment, he’s a no-nonsense officer of the law.
He’s not the man who welcomed me into his home with a smile and calmed my fears.
He’s not the Elijah who made a huge mess inside the kitchen, and I wanted to kiss stupid.
“Go on, Ava. Tell us what he said,” Perez looks between us, sensing the tension rising.
“The phone rang twice, and I picked it up, thinking it was Detective Ford. All I said was hello, when the man cut me off. It happened so fast, and I felt off—he made me feel uncomfortable.” Tucking my feet beneath me, I place my hands in my lap, nervously playing with an old silver ring that belonged to my mother. “He asked for you...” my eyes shift to Eli “...and when?—”
Ford’s eyes soften. “Exact words, sweetheart. Please.”
Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly and give them a nod. “He said, and I quote: ‘Where’s Ford? Why are you answering his phone?’ I tried to respond, but he talked over me. He came across as agitated. ‘Did he leave a file for me before leaving you alone, Ava? ”
“Did he mention anything about the contents of the file? Anything specific?” Perez asks. In his hand is a pen, and he’s jotting something down atop a thick manila folder.
I shake my head. “No. Nothing about its contents.”
“Did he say anything else?” This time, it’s Elijah who speaks. He’s sitting forward, clenched hands hanging between his parted, muscular thighs. His posture radiates a simmering ire. “Was there anyone else, male or female, speaking in the background?”
“No. Nothing. The man caught me off guard, and I asked him who he was and how he knew my name, but instead of answering, he just… laughed . His chuckle held an edge of frustration that gave me the creeps.” Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I try to shake the memory away. I take myself out of that moment of panic and concentrate on my breathing. It takes a minute or two, and I’m thankful that neither man rushes me. When I’m ready—when my heart calms and I can speak without a knot lodging itself in my throat—I look at Elijah again. Focus only on him. “ I’m Detective Meyers, Miss Ava, and we’ll be seeing you again very soon. That’s what he said.”
Elijah stands abruptly, nearly tipping over the small coffee table in front of him. A candle and a small crystal vase fall, though, shattering upon impact. The small picture frame beside them didn’t make out any better, either.
“I’m going to kill every one of those motherfuckers. Those sons of bitches are going to regret the day they were born?—”
“Miss Perry, please give us a minute. He might need a moment or two to calm down,” they both exclaim in unison, one in pure fury and the other with a decorum that’s drowning within his own anger.
Exhaling slowly, I listen without hesitation and head to my room, but not before pausing at the hallway’s entrance. I look at the detective from over my shoulder. “You owe me an explanation, Eli.”
Not a request or plea. The man understands, and I won’t elaborate.
Today. Tomorrow. In a few days.
It doesn’t matter because I deserve to know just how much danger I’m in. Just how bad and out of hand things have become. Elijah doesn’t look back at me from his place near the balcony doors; his head is hanging down, and his breathing is hard, but he does something that’s enough for me.
He nods and whispers out a rough I’m sorry.
“Feeling better, Detective?” I ask the second he steps outside onto the balcony. It’s been a few hours since his blowout reaction, the one drowned within his truth to avenge me and the lives lost at Jason’s hands.
His anger was palpable. Still is. It took over and infiltrated every single inch of his home; a suffocating presence that made my heart clench, and not because he was any kind of threat. Not because I worry.
I want to eliminate anything that doesn’t make him smile. Make him happy.
God help me.
When his boss asked me to leave, I felt a hint of relief, and I hated it. Hated that the small distance gave me a chance to think. To be strong enough not to give in to my desires of being his more . At first, I took comfort in my room, putting on noise-canceling headphones to drown out the explosive cursing—the slamming of something large against a wall—but nothing playing through the device came close to quelling my yearning.
This need simmers beneath the surface and is starting to control me.
Stop it, Ava. Elijah’s under a lot of stress and doesn’t need your hovering.
And I understand that. I also know that as human beings, we need to release pent-up emotions consuming us before we one day… snap .
He needs space, and I’ll give it to him. I can’t begrudge him, either.
Nor am I afraid.
Even if his anger was bad enough that Captain Perez took him out of the apartment.
Where did they go? I have no clue, but when the condo became too quiet, I left the safety of my room to investigate and found everyone missing, which led me to sitting outside on his balcony overlooking a bay that’s too beautiful for words.
“Are you okay?” His voice is rough and hoarse, but beneath it all is a tinge of regret. “I’m sorry if I scared you, Ava. Please know that you’re always?—”
“I know.” Turning my head to look at him, I give him a small smile. “Never doubted you.”
“Thank you.”
Standing, I walk to the railing he’s leaning against and bump his arm. “Why are you thanking me?”
Elijah grimaces and then gives me a pathetic shrug. “I’m just glad you’re not running from me. That you’re not asking for a reassignment.”
“Not happening, my dude.” I bat my lashes while crooking a finger. Lightening the mood. “You’re kind of stuck with me until this is all over.”
“Is that so?” He chuckles, shaking his head before stepping fully into my space. There’s less tension in him now, his smile a little crooked, and to be honest, it’s very sexy. That swagger—his virile masculinity—causes my thighs to clench, and a tiny gasp gets caught in my throat when he looks up at me from under his thick lashes.
Not to mention how the side of his body warms mine. I’m surrounded by his scent.
Yup. I’m screwed. “It is.”
“I’m very good with that.”
“Good. Now, how about filling me in on...” I trail off because even though I hate to bring up something unpleasant, we have an overdue conversation pending. His truths. Mine, too. Especially after I saw that?—
“Fair enough.” He looks out onto the water. Neither of us speaks for a few minutes as we soak up the amazing view: waves crashing and a bright blue sky with a few high-rise buildings, each with a unique structural fascia making up the skyline. A rough exhale is my sign that he’s ready. “Where do you want to start?”
“Adam and Jaime. That’s when the secrets began.”
“Would you like to take a walk with me?”
“Is it safe to do so?” I counter his question, liking the idea of going outside with him more than I should. My entire being vibrates with excitement at the opportunity to do something normal… with him .
Elijah nods again. “I’ll take every precaution to ensure nothing happens.”
“I know you will.”
“That means a lot to me.” Turning his face, his warm eyes settle on mine. “We’ve assigned two squad cars to be stationed nearby twenty-four hours a day until Ripley’s caught. They’re only a radio call away.”
“Okay.” Hopping a bit in place, I’m ready to head out. To not be cooped up. “And do you promise to be completely honest with me?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. No doubt.
“Then yeah. I’d like that, Detective.” I just hope you grant me the same understanding in return.
I’m speechless. Horrified. Overwhelmed by everything Elijah’s said.
My mind is going around in a hundred directions as I try to make sense of his words.
More girls. More lives have been taken, and each one is my fault.
Christ, will this nightmare ever end?
Closing my eyes, I try to fight back the tears pooling and threatening to spill—to not show just how helpless I truly feel—but I fail. A lone drop falls down my cheek, and Elijah wraps an arm around my shoulders, tucking me against his side.
“Whatever you are thinking... stop ,” he murmurs into my hair, placing the tiniest of kisses there. It’s comforting, and if I’m being honest with myself, I want to burrow deeper into his warmth and never come out. “None of this is your fault, Ava. Do you hear me?”
“But—”
“None of it.”
The vehemence in his tone pulls me from my temporary haven, and I look at him through watery eyes. My bottom lip is wobbly. “There’s more to our past than what’s in your notes, Elijah. I didn’t know it was...I swear, I don’t understand how I missed the signs when we were teens. How I didn’t connect the dots now, but he…he?—”
“Breathe for me. Nice and slow.”
A hiccuping sob escapes, and it takes me another minute or two to calm down. To ask the question that’s been plaguing me. At first, it didn’t make sense. I truly didn’t remember the name Jason Ripley, and there’s a reason for that.
Not until today. That note.
“Why didn’t Anthony or Rose tell me anything back then? So much happened, Eli.”
“What are you remembering, sweetheart?” There’s no reproach in his tone, nor does he pull away. Instead, his arm lowers to encircle my waist as he looks out over the water, letting me take my time. I’m in control.
“Everything began... shit !” The sound of a seagull suddenly flying close causes me to jump, my sharp yelp making the man beside me chuckle. We’re sitting on a bench in an empty section of a pier not far from his building, watching a couple of small boats head further out to sea. A small moment of respite helps me gather my thoughts after those birds, and I’m ready to confess something only three other people know.
This isn’t the first time that man tried to harm me.
Two more birds follow, and I duck a bit as one glides too close.
“They won’t hurt you,” Elijah says from beside me, but I can’t turn away from them. There are so many. Most are perched along the tide pools below, yapping and cleaning their feathers before taking flight once more, some to feed, others to harass the people walking among them.
For the most part, they don’t come near us, giving preference to a group of what looks to be tourists feeding them bread down below.
This scene seems so normal and is slightly amusing, considering the reasons we’re here. The topic of our conversation. What I need to share with him.
It’s also interrupted by the sudden loud ringing of Eli’s phone. I shift my watery eyes over and take note of the way his jaw ticks, of the grim line of his lips. He’s pissed yet remains cool at the same time while muttering a low fuck.
“Everything okay?” I ask, taking account of the sudden annoyance crossing his features.
“Yeah,” is all he says before pulling the phone from his pocket, reading the message, and then returning it to its place. Those eyes of his are warm, though, as they meet mine, and the sudden apprehension that settled into my bones at once dissipates. “It’s my mom, Ava. I owe her a call, and she’s just nagging. I promise.”
No rush. No anger.
I hold my finger up to him. “Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear. No more secrets.” Maybe it’s childlike, but he follows through and links his finger with mine. A simple gesture, but it means everything to me at that moment—it takes a stressful situation and turns it into something that gifts me a semblance of comfort. There’s no urge to run, something that’s a bit confusing yet true because I know in my heart that he won’t abandon me.
This moment, full of heartache and fear, isn’t hard to carry with him beside me. Someone who will listen. Help me. And maybe it’s that feeling of ease, or the laughter of some innocent child down below that makes me talk.
“Something happened when I was sixteen.”