6. Madelyn
MADELYN
“Your brother is so hot. I’d let him bend me over the table any day,” Hannah whispers to me with blushed cheeks.
We’re sharing a bottle of wine in my living room and cozying up on the sofa.
“You’re lucky he isn’t coming out of his room.”
Liquid splutters out of my mouth, but I manage to cover up with a hand, preventing a disaster.
“S-sorry!” I stand up and head to the bathroom to wash my hands. Coming back after a second, I take my seat next to her again. “I didn’t expect you to say that out of nowhere.”
Okay, yes, so we were talking about men and our icks and red flags, but bringing up Kayden?
Hannah winces. “Was it too much information?”
“I thought we had this unspoken rule between us where we don’t mention my stepbrother at all. Especially in a sexual context. Unless it’s to complain? Please don’t use Kayden and the words ‘bend over a table’ in the same sentence ever again.”
She giggles, her second glass of wine half-empty.
She’s tipsy already, and it’s my fault, really. Hannah and I are usually more the at-work-only type of friends, but I needed to vent to someone about my emergency. I’m still freaking out about my diary. Suggesting dinner and a glass of wine together after work seemed fitting.
Now, I’m wondering, did she accept my invitation to shoot her shot with Kayden?
I don’t doubt that Hannah is Kayden’s type. Pretty, lean, blonde. She’s every guy’s type.
“Come on, Maddy. You live together. Tell me more about him. Have you seen his eggplant emoji yet?” She winks at me. “I bet you have. I bet he’s popped out naked from the shower before.”
Her words make my stomach turn.
I don’t want to think or talk about it. I don’t want to reveal anything I shouldn’t.
I remain composed and gulp my own glass of wine.
“He doesn’t parade around the house naked,” I say. Only shirtless. “So, no, I didn’t have the displeasure.”
And thank God for that. Seeing his biceps and abs is more than enough torture.
I’ve had enough exhibitionism from him to memorize the tattoos on his chest that I was so curious about. Three. Constellations, a flaming heart, and a small bowtie.
Hannah pouts. “What a bummer. I bet he’s hiding a monstrous thing beneath those clothes.”
“Hannah.” I lean forward and take the glass from her hand. “I think you’ve had enough to drink.”
This must be a sign from the universe that I shouldn’t tell anyone about my missing journal.
Bringing Hannah here was a bad idea.
What if Kayden walks out of his room now and sees her in this state?
What if she throws herself at him and he takes the bait?
I bite my lip so hard I almost draw blood.
I don’t have any interest in who Kayden sleeps with. He doesn’t belong to me because of the mistakes we made in the past. But the thought of it…
“Oh, come on. I’m unwinding after a long day of work.” Hannah frowns, her pretty face creases with wrinkles. “Can’t help it if our P.E teacher is nice on the eyes.”
I sigh. This is so the last time we’re drinking together. “Remember the part where I said he’s my stepbrother?”
“Still, you can appreciate a handsome man when you see him. God, if I were you, I’d throw caution to the wind. You’re not really related, you know.”
“We kind of grew up together, though.”
And he bullied me, corrupted me, humiliated me. Stole my first kiss and then some.
“Entertain me. When did you first meet?”
“I was sixteen.”
“And he was…”
“Seventeen.”
“So, he’s twenty-six now? One year older than us.”
“Yeah.”
I’ve known him for almost ten years.
The thought sinks in that it’s been that long since Kayden walked into my life.
“And you said he’s estranged from you?” Hannah continues, taking another sip of her wine, finishing it. “But now he’s back, and you’re living together? Dayum, girl.” She pauses, biting her bottom lip. “It’s kinda hot if you ask me. In a forbidden romance kind of way.”
“I can’t believe you just said that.” I shake my head.
“Cut me some slack, will you?” Hannah nudges me. “Kayden is hot, and I’m on a dry spell. You get that, don’t you? How long has it been for you?”
“A while,” I lie, biting my lip again. I can’t tell her I haven’t actually…ever…And that’s mostly because every man I tried to date since Kayden ended up disappearing, or ghosting me, before we got to do the deed.
As if someone specifically hunted them down.
“So you get it. We’re single, and we’re readers. Usually, a smutty book and my wand will do, but sometimes we need a little more.”
“I have a great relationship with my vibrator.”
Generally, I do, though it’s been collecting dust in my drawer for a while now.
Sometimes, all I need is my journal and my imagination.
“Girl, I said it once, and I’ll say it again. You need to get some real action in your life. Involve more than yourself in that tango. Besides, I’m just talking. I’m not going to jump, Kayden. Don’t worry.” She pauses. “Unless he wants me to, and then I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”
“Trust me, you can do better,” I say, my jaw tightening with my words.
I’m not jealous. I’m not. Kayden is trouble, and I know it firsthand. I’m just looking out for a friend.
Hannah and I end up moving on from Kayden and talking for another thirty minutes before she leaves.
I never tell her about my missing journal.
My mind has been zigzagging with possible locations of where I might’ve left it.
A sliver of doubt wonders if Kayden took it. But there’s no way I’ll ask him that.
Once my thoughts divert to my annoying stepbrother, the devil himself walks out of his room and into the kitchen.
I’m doing the dishes when he comes in.
“I left dinner for you in the fridge. You can heat it in the microwave,” I say over the running water.
Kayden drags his feet around the room and scoffs.
“What is it now?” I turned, half-facing him.
He’s standing by the fridge door, shirtless again. Plaid pajama pants hide what’s under the trail of hair dancing down his belly button.
The view makes me bite my tongue. I hate that he’s this attractive.
“Don’t bring guests home again without consulting me first. I had to starve myself in my room until it was clear.”
I close the water tap and fold my arms. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.” He picks the plate from the fridge and closes the door, balancing it in one hand as he focuses on me.
“Why?”
“If we’re sharing a space, I should be able to roam freely.”
“Really? I don’t remember you ever asking me for permission before bringing girls to do you favors in your Porsche, even though we’ve shared it multiple times before.”
The flashback of finding Kayden in a compromising position with a girl in college makes my blood recoil.
Trauma for life. The first thing I did when I got the car from Lucas was have it deep cleaned.
“That’s different. A car is a car. I was your driver. We didn’t live in it.”
“Then, how about all the times you snuck girls into your room at home? Did you ever ask?”
That’s a stretch. I never actually caught him with anyone. But I wouldn’t put it past him.
“Did you want me to ask, Madelyn?”
Kayden smirks, getting dangerously close to me. Placing the plate on the kitchen counter behind me, he pins me against it, locking me between his arms.
“Were you jealous?”
My pulse fastens. Why is he this close?
“W-why would I be jealous?”
“Because you’re not getting any.” He’s confident in his words. “And don’t even attempt to deny it because I heard you say it.”
Shit. He heard Hannah and me.
“T-that’s none of your business.” I scoff. “God, you haven’t changed a bit, have you?” I clench my fists to my sides. “Don’t answer that. I’m going to bed.”
I push past him.
I’m not going to let him get to me. He might be sharing the same space and air as me, but he’s nothing to me.
And I intend to keep it that way.