Chapter 5 #2
God, he’s gone through his entire life with a mother who doesn’t claim him and a father who purposefully denies both Everett and his mother that connection.
“That…must be hard,” I say weakly. I don’t know how he feels about it.
Maybe he doesn’t know the difference. “Are you angry about it? Hurt? Do you feel connected to her at all?”
Okay, that was three questions, kind of, and I’m sure he’s keeping track. But I don’t care.
He shakes his head. “I don’t feel connected. Which does hurt, I suppose. I didn’t realize it until…” He trails off, looking at me thoughtfully for a moment.
“Until what?” I prod. He can add it to my tally.
“Until I met Graham. And your mom.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“I had other friends growing up at boarding school and initially at college, but I never really talked about any of their mothers, and while I might have met a couple of their moms in passing, I never spent time with any of them. And they weren’t like yours.”
Of course, he went to boarding school. God. Still, I smile. I don’t even know what he means exactly, but no, there’s no way the rich moms who sent their sons away to school were like my mom. “She’s one of a kind. Though I’ve grown up with a bunch of incredible moms.”
He nods. “Exactly. But I didn’t really know what was possible, I suppose.
I met Graham and your mom and saw it immediately.
And yes, I realized I have been missing that, without even knowing it.
” He frowns slightly. “I’ve never felt like I really belonged anywhere.
School was temporary. Home wasn’t a place of comfort and roots like it is for you here.
It was just where I lived. It was a…starting point.
It was simply where I was until I could go out on my own and do what I wanted to do. ”
I frown. “That sounds so cold and like everything that came before you left home was just like…a waiting room or something.”
He nods. “That’s how it feels when I think about it or look back.
I can’t say it wasn’t formative. Of course it was.
It helped me know what I didn’t want. But I left home not knowing what I wanted.
I felt like I was floating around, trying to find a landing spot.
Then I met Graham. He was the most grounded person I’d ever met, besides being warm and brilliant.
He was like this entirely new species.” Everett laughs softly.
“I didn’t know a person could know exactly what they wanted, could be driven and confident, could also have a loving, warm, supportive family, a huge group of friends, and still be funny, warm, and—”
I laugh. “You have to fill in that blank.”
Everett grins. “And be a total nerd at the same time.”
God, I like him so much.
“What’s that look for?” Everett asks me.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve got hearts popping out of my eyes.
“Just that you really do know and love and accept my brother just as he is,” I say, my voice a little thick. “That’s all really real.”
Everett looks mildly surprised, then almost…
emotional. He shrugs. “He does the same for me. I’ve never been really understood and accepted the way Graham does.
Then Margot. Then your parents. And Lauren.
” He shakes his head as he mentions my dad’s long-time best friend and business partner.
“Every person Graham brings into my orbit just—” He swallows hard.
“What?” I ask softly.
“They make me feel things my parents have never made me feel,” he says.
“My parents always put their work first. Their jobs were most important. They were in and out of my life. When I saw them, I’d have to catch them up on what I’d been doing.
Your mom has photos displayed in the house, of random days.
Not days when anything special happened, like a birthday or an award, but just a day when you all went sledding. ”
He shakes his head as I feel my throat tighten with emotion. If I glanced at the fridge right now, I would see the photo he’s talking about. It’s probably fifteen years old, but it’s there, under a Ferris wheel magnet, on the right side of the fridge where it’s been for years.
“My dad wouldn’t even try to make a family with my mom because of his job and public persona. My mom couldn’t let anyone know she had a child. I was just a thing that happened to them. An inconvenient thing that happened to them,” he adds.
And as much as I like him, I really hate his parents.
But I’m so fucking glad he and Graham found one another.
“So, how old were you when you met her?” I ask.
“You are so far behind on the kiss-answer ratio,” he says.
I really am. “You better do something about that, then.”
He puts his mouth back against my elbow and sucks lightly again, but the sleeve of my shirt won’t bunch any further.
Instead, he kisses over the fabric to my shoulder, then pulls the neckline of the shirt to the side, exposing my shoulder.
He drags his mouth back and forth against the skin, then kisses across my collarbone to the base of my throat.
He pulls back slightly, but I can still feel his breath against my neck and see the deep green and gold flecks of his irises.
“The first time I remember meeting her and spending time with her, I was about three. I think I’d met her before that, because I knew that I knew her, but I don’t remember times before that.
We went to the movies together.” He smiles.
“It was a Disney film. She was appalled to find out that I didn’t really like movies. ”
“You don’t like movies?” I ask, also a bit appalled.
He puts his mouth back against the base of my throat. He kisses, then his tongue flicks out and licks. He kisses up the side of my throat to my ear. “I really don’t. But if you ever want to watch a movie, I will happily do that with you. I will happily do anything with you, Ginger.”
I pull back. “Ginger? That’s what we’re going with?”
He continues kissing along my jaw, because I did, after all, ask him a question. He stops with his mouth hovering right above my lips. “I want to call you something no one else does. And it can’t be Diana, because that’s not really you.” Then he kisses me on the mouth.
Or, maybe I kiss him. It’s kind of hard to tell.
But our lips meet and I very much enjoy the mix of apples, cinnamon, and Everett.
We kiss lazily for several seconds.
Finally, he lifts his head. “Anything else?”
“We had really great sex,” I say. “But I think maybe you like me in part because you really like my family. How big a part of your feelings for me is Graham?”
He kisses me again before answering this time. The kiss is slow, but it’s deep. His lips taste, his tongue strokes, his hands glide up and down my back.
Eventually, he says huskily, “I didn’t even know you were related to Graham until this morning, remember?
But I will tell you this—my mother is a very spontaneous person.
She often makes decisions simply because it feels good.
My father hated that. In fact, he told me my entire life that decisions needed to be well thought out and make sense.
He insisted I use my head and not my heart.
My grandparents reiterated that. I was made to believe that following my heart or my gut was foolish and dangerous. ”
His hand is stroking up and down my arm, and his gaze is locked on mine.
“And then I met your brother. Graham is the first person who didn’t know who I was, who my parents were, didn’t know that I had several million dollars in a trust fund, didn’t know that I had a genius IQ.
He sat down next to me, and we started talking and immediately hit it off for reasons that I still don’t totally understand.
A lot like how I met you. We didn’t even know each other’s real first names, but we clicked. ”
He's right. I simply nod.
“Following my gut and trusting Graham has turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made,” Everett says.
“So, I’ve decided to do more of it. And that’s why I crossed the bar that night.
My head was telling me to leave, that I didn’t want to be in that bar that night, that I wasn’t going to fit in, and that it wasn’t going to be fun.
But then I saw you. And my gut and my heart screamed at me to go talk to you. And that turned out amazingly well.”
He grins, and my entire body clenches, I swear.
“Sitting around the table today with your family, my head was telling me that they are great people that I can trust, and there are one million reasons to like them, but even more, my gut and heart were happy, content, so glad to be there and hoping for many more opportunities.”
I know I’m staring at him. I have no words. What am I supposed to do with all of that?
So, I take a deep breath, kiss him quickly on the mouth, and then push him back onto his stool.
“We need to talk about work,” I say quickly.
Maybe that will save me. I need to remind myself why I can’t climb into this guy’s lap, strip all of our clothes off, and just fall in love with him.
Okay, I should probably take our clothes off before I climb into his lap, but other than that, that plan is what my gut is telling me to do.
And I know it’s a bad idea. So, I need my head to get back in charge here.
He sits back on his seat. He also gives me a sexy smirk. “I suppose you think if we’re going to talk business, I don’t get to keep kissing you?”
I clear my throat. “Right.”
“Fine,” he says with a very put-upon sigh.
I have to admit—to myself only perhaps—his insistence that he needs to kiss me and that he can’t resist is pretty nice for a girl's ego. Especially after a boyfriend who chose a job over continuing to kiss me.
“So I’ve decided that I want to stay in Sapphire Falls long-term,” I tell him.
He nods. “I’m not surprised. This is clearly a place where you’re happy. And after your brother and sister-in-law announced their pregnancy, I could tell that it affected you.”