Chapter 40
Chapter
Forty
Reminder: Write blog post ASAP
Jasmine: Hey, don’t forget, we’re celebrating my birthday on Saturday at O’Bryans! I know things are crazy for you, but I miss you and I really hope you can come.
Natalie: I hope you have the best birthday! I will have to take a rain check but we will hang out soon.
Hadley: I miss you, and I’m in desperate need of girl talk! Can we do lunch this week? Or a coffee date? Please?
Reminder: Advanced Accounting Study Group tonight at 9 p.m.
Mom: I need you to take the GrubHub shifts tonight. I’m exhausted.
Hunter: I miss you. When can I see you?
Natalie: Hey, sorry it’s been a few days, and I haven’t responded. I’m still planning on picking you up Wednesday. It’s my day to take you to PT, right? I’ll swing by at 4.
I read back over all the messages that have piled up in my phone, wincing. I’ve been terrible at communicating lately. Hunter hasn’t responded to my text, but I always pick him up on Wednesdays, so I head over to his apartment after class. I haven’t seen him since his appointment last week, but now I think of it as our day.
Did I curl my hair, put on mascara, and spend time on my outfit this morning because I was excited to see him? Did I pair my over-the-knee boots with my gray sweater dress because I saw Hunter drool over my legs the last time I wore them?
Yes, I did. It’s okay to put extra effort into things for my boyfriend—especially because I haven’t been able to do as much for him as I’d like.
I shiver in the wind as I run from my car to Hockey Hall. It’s the beginning of December, I should definitely have grabbed a coat. But I wanted to impress Hunter on impact, so I hustle instead.
After hurrying to his third-floor apartment, I knock. I could use the key code, but making an entrance feels right.
I’m gratified when he opens the door, and his mouth drops open, blue eyes glazed over for a beat. Then he shakes it off, and his mouth morphs into a hesitant smile.
“Hey.” He leans against the doorframe, looking yummy in a tight gray Harrison Hockey t-shirt and workout pants. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
Why doesn’t he immediately grab me and pull me in for a kiss? Is he upset with me? I want to wrap my arms around him, bury my head in his chest and live there. But I clear my throat and finger the hem of my dress.
“I said I’d take you to PT every Wednesday. I won’t let you down.”
Swooping close, he drops a kiss on my cheek, and I breathe in his scent. It settles the ache in my chest and calms me. The moment of awkwardness between us disappears as he grabs his crutches and laces his fingers through mine.
We talk on the drive to the doctor’s office. He tells me about his classes and asks about my dad.And when we sit in the waiting room before they call his name, I rest my head on his shoulder.
It’s not a romantic spot for a date—the chairs are uncomfortable with scratchy woven upholstery, the lights are too bright, and the fake plants need dusting. But I don’t care. I won’t waste my time with him wishing for something that I can’t have. I’ll make the best of what I’ve got.
“God, Hunter, I’ve missed you. I feel like I can’t catch my breath or get a break.”
He skims his fingertips over the back of my hand and drops a kiss on my head. I turn my lips up to him—and jump when my phone rings.
Rings. Not a text. Like an emergency.
Is it my mom? Is it bad news? My heart races and adrenaline floods my body.
“Sorry.” I spring away from him and fumble in the bag at my feet. A picture of Sarah flashes across the screen and my hands tremble as I swipe to answer it.
Oh my god, please let my dad be okay.
“Hello?” My voice wavers. “Sarah, what’s wrong?”
“Are you stuck in traffic? In an accident somewhere? Because you better have a phenomenal excuse for abandoning Jace at daycare.”
“I—what?” I pull my phone away from my ear and stare at the screen, like then Sarah’s words will make sense. “What are you talking about?”
She’s so loud, I have to press it back to my cheek to mute her volume. “Jace was left at daycare. No one came to pick him up, and I had to leave work. You were supposed to get him today.”
“But it’s Wednesday. My day with Hunter.” He sits up straight next to me, but I can’t bear to make eye contact. Everything is slipping away, and I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face.
Sarah sighs into the phone. “I’m sorry to ask you to cut your date short, but I don’t have anyone else. I need you. Jace needs you.”
My heart drops. We depend on each other, and I wasn’t there for her. I picture Jace’s face, screwed up with worry, as the other parents came to pick up his classmates. Watching for my car, until finally the daycare had to call Sarah.
“I’m sorry.” My words waver. “Tell Jace I’m sorry.”
“I will. Can you drive home so I can go back to work?”
“Yeah. Hang on. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Swallowing, I end the call and turn to Hunter, looking at his collarbone instead of his face. My voice is quiet, as if I’m hoping he won’t hear how I’m letting him down. “Um. Do you think you can call one of your teammates to come get you? I have to take care of something else.”
He grabs my hand, halting my progress, and forces me to meet his gaze. “Hey. It’s okay. How can I help?”
I blink back tears. I’m abandoning him here, leaving in the middle of our only time together—time spent in a doctor’s office waiting room, not a swanky restaurant or cool bar—and he wants to make sure I’m okay. Sniffling, I take a deep breath.
“I’m not sure. Thanks for not being mad at me. I wish—” I break off, not wanting to complain, but he squeezes my fingers and stares at me with his intense blue eyes. They threaten to pull me under, like the waves in the ocean.
“What do you wish, babe?”
The endearment does me in, and a tear leaks out. I brush it away. “I wish I could fix all my family’s problems. I wish I could spend time with you, just hanging out with nothing looming over my head. I wish I had another car.”
At that, a slow smile spreads across Hunter’s face. His dimple appears, and despite everything, it makes my knees weak. I don’t know why that makes him happy, but god, his smile is like drinking straight sunshine.
“I can’t fix everything, but I can fix that. I happen to have an extra car lying around that I can’t drive.”
My mouth drops open. “Your Beemer?”
He shrugs. “Why not? It’s not a big deal.”
Fifty thousand dollars says otherwise. But he hobbles to his feet and wraps me in his arms. “Not right now, obviously, you’ve gotta go, but I’ll get you the keys. You can have your mom or Sarah drive you over to pick it up. You can put GrubHub stickers on it, I don’t care.”
I don’t even try to check the tears that fall.
“There’s no way—I can’t—”
“Natalie.” He runs his thumbs under my eyes, then kisses my forehead. “I wish I had thought of it sooner. Let me do this. You do so much for everyone else. Let me fix this one little thing.”
It’s not little. It’s huge. And all I can do is nod.
“You’re the best,” I whisper as I leave him.
Stay, my heart yells, but I jog out to my car and spend the next fifteen minutes composing what to say to Sarah in my head.
I’m sorry I dropped the ball. I’m sorry I left Jace with no one to count on. I didn’t remember I was supposed to pick him up today.
How did I let that happen? How did I double-book myself like that? My Wednesday time with Hunter is sacred. Or at least, I thought it was. Turns out, the only thing that’s sacred is the family bond.