Chapter 16
16
Sydney
H e laughed as he rolled me over onto my back.
Of all the kisses we’d had, this was my favorite. The laughing kiss.
It was slow and delicious. There was no rush or urgency. Just mouths and tongues and teeth. I could have kissed him for a lifetime. His hand at the back of my neck, my hands just running up and down his muscled chest, around his back, down his arms.
He was so hard everywhere. It was such a contrast to everything I knew as a woman. I could explore him for days.
“Alright, we’re going to set some rules,” he said, dipping his head to bite my earlobe. Aghh, why did that feel so good?
“More rules?” I asked, and did the same to his earlobe. Did he like it as much as I did? He must, because his hips thrust against me. God, he really was hard.
“More rules,” he repeated, his fingers in my hair. “Sex rules. You have to talk to me. No more deciding things on your own. It would kill me to hurt you again.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, running my hand over his head. His hair felt bristly one direction and like velvet the other, and wasn’t that just like him. “I promise non-stop talking. What else?”
“What I say goes.”
I laughed. “No way. You can try, but I think we both know, what I say goes.”
He pulled back, looking at me in outrage, but then it dawned on him. “Holy shit, you’re right.”
He rolled me so that I was on my back and almost in the same motion removed my t-shirt. Naked except for my pajama shorts, I felt a little exposed, but in a good way. Like I was being seen. Maybe for the first time ever, which was ridiculous for me, considering the costumes I wore in sold out concert venues.
Wyatt settled over me, spreading my thighs, so he could wedge himself in between them. He rested his chin between my breasts and gave me a wicked smile.
“Now lean back and close your eyes. And keep them closed.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want you thinking too much about what’s happening, I only want you to feel it. If you can’t keep them closed, I’m going to blindfold you.”
“Whoa! We’re getting out the blindfolds already?”
He gave me his don’t fuck with me face. “Syd, close your damn eyes,” he ordered.
So I did. He was right. In the darkness, I couldn’t think too much about anything. I could only feel. His beard brushing over my skin. His lips on my breasts, kissing them gently. He took my nipple into his mouth and it was gentle at first and then…not. He tugged and pulled and I gasped at the surprise of it. How rough it was and how…perfect. It was like there was a thread that connected them all the way down to my core.
“You like that?”
“I really do.”
I’d played with my breasts before. I’d been a virgin, but I knew how to make myself come. Maybe infrequently, because there never seemed to be enough time in the day, but this was different. I didn’t have control. Someone else was doing this to me and I just laid back and let it happen. I couldn’t gently slide into arousal.
I was plummeted into it. Like jumping off a cliff.
Wyatt moved to my other breast, biting down gently on my nipple, while his thumb and finger tweaked the other one. He moaned against my skin like he loved it too.
“I knew you’d be perfect. The perfect handful. The perfect mouthful.” He squeezed me. Sucked me. It was too much. It wasn’t quite enough. I thrust my hips up into him and he purposefully lifted himself so I wouldn’t make contact.
“Wyatt,” I whined. “Please…”
“Please what?”
“More,” I groaned, trying to pull his body back into mine.
“What do you want?” he asked, licking me again. “What do you need?”
I didn’t have the words for this. So I went with my gut. “You,” I said. “I need you.”
He brought his body down against me like he couldn’t help himself anymore. Like he was barely holding on and his desire made mine hotter. He sucked my nipple again, tweaked the other and I felt the clutching emptiness between my legs. I felt the first stirrings of an orgasm and I hugged his head to me.
“I could come like this,” I whispered. My eyes still shut.
“Yeah, just from playing with your tits?” he breathed and I felt him looking at me. I wanted to open my eyes to see him, but I didn’t want to let go of this floating feeling. “That’s so fucking hot.” He left my breasts and made his way down my stomach, taking the time to touch each rib with his finger, tracing it all the way to my back.
“Why did you stop?” I gasped.
“Need you on the verge, baby. So ready and so wet there won’t be any pain.”
His tongue dipped into my belly button as he slipped his hands into my shorts and slid them down my legs. I rolled my hips again.
This is why people wanted to be held down or tied up during sex, I realized. You had to put all this faith in a person while you were helpless. It’s what I was giving Wyatt now. All my trust and all my faith he was going to make this good for me. That he was going to take care of me. Not just my body but me .
“Are you going to do what you did in the shower?” I whispered.
“Lick your pussy?” he asked darkly. “Yeah, babe. Remember, eyes closed.”
He knew I wanted to look.
“Ahhhhh,” I moaned when his tongue hit my wet clit.
It was devastating. It was too much and not enough at the same time. I wanted more. Everything. I was empty and I needed him to fill me. I felt his finger slide inside me, then another. There was a stretching, but nothing about it was uncomfortable, because all I could feel was his tongue back on my clit. Long sweeping licks, a swirl around my clit. He must have added another finger between my legs, because I was so full. Showing me what actual sex was going to feel like. Only bigger and more powerful because it would be Wyatt’s body inside me, on top of me.
“Wyatt, now. I’m ready. Please.”
“Not yet,” he said. “I want you to feel this.”
His middle finger pushed some secret place inside me, making me cry out with sheer beautiful pleasure. “What is that?”
“That’s the G spot, which really is just the other side of your clit. Now, you need strong fingers to hit that hard. Lucky for you, I hold a hockey stick for a living. Hold on, baby. This is going to be intense.”
It so was. He made his circular motion against what could only be described as the epicenter of the universe. I was imploding. Every muscle in my body contracted and released and the feeling was too much. I saw white spots behind my eyes and wondered if someone could die from this much pleasure. Was I screaming? I’d never heard myself make those sounds.
“Stay here for me baby, I’m getting a condom,” he said, between long kisses.
I nodded and there was nothing but cold air where his body had been. But he was back before I caught my breath. My eyes were still closed. All the muscles in my body were pudding. Even my eyelids.
I heard the tear of the wrapper and his body was back over me. The warm living weighted blanket that was Wyatt. I sighed and curled my arms around his neck. His thighs pushed mine further apart. There was no time to think, no time to thank him for that beautiful dark, rich pleasure.
He was kissing me, deep kisses. Did I say the laughing kisses were my favorite? What a fool. These were my favorite. Post-orgasm, intense, drugging kisses. Movie kisses. Fairy tale kisses.
“Ready?” he asked, and I nodded. He eased forward inside of me and it was already a million times better than the other day. There was that stretch, yes, but no sting. No pain. Just this unbelievable fullness. I felt him everywhere. This was Wyatt pushing inside of me. Wyatt whispering in my ear. Telling me I was beautiful. That I was doing so good.
It didn’t happen fast. Wyatt controlled everything. He thrust deeper and pulled back, deeper again. Another retreat. At some point, I didn’t think I could take anymore, but he was relentless.
“That’s it baby, you’re taking me so deep. So good.”
“Is it…are you in?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine any more of him. I was so full it was hard to breath.
“Yeah I am.” He took my hand and put it between our bodies so I could feel the taut skin of my pussy around his cock. “Feel that?”
“Yes,” I whispered. My fingers slipping over his skin and mine. We were so wet. So hot.
“That’s us,” he said, and hissed when my fingers slipped down and cupped his balls. I’d never touched balls before. He pulled my hand away. “You can play later. Now start fucking with me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know… I don’t know how.”
“Yes, you do. Just like in the shower against my tongue. Just like the hot springs against my dick. You want to do that now, only with my cock”
I pushed my hips into his and he groaned like I was killing him. But killing him just the way he liked. Yes, I understood now. I could embrace it, instead of just accepting it. I could push back and take even more if I wanted. I reached for and grabbed his hard ass, digging my fingers into the muscles there. Pulling him in closer.
“Yes,” he barked. “That’s it, baby. Fuck me.”
It was glorious. Like writing a song. Like writing the best song there ever was. He was pumping into me deep and hard and I matched him thrust for thrust. The pullout bed was shaking and we were making animal sounds and clutching at each other like the world was coming apart. It was violent and awesome.
He sucked on my neck and whispered in my ear. “This is what it means to be fucked hard. You like it?”
I could only nod.
“You think you like it a little rough?” He compounded that with a particularly hard thrust that made my whole body shake.
I nodded again.
“Open your eyes and look at me.”
I couldn’t. I was so deep inside my body. Inside this pleasure. I didn’t think I would ever return.
“Syd, now.”
I blinked open my eyes and met his gaze. His face, his beard, his body was all on top of me, inside me. I clung to his shoulders for dear life.
“Say my name,” Wyatt demanded.
“Wyatt.”
“That’s right, baby. I’m the man who gave you your…First. Proper. Fuck.”
Each word was met with a slam of his hips. That spot inside me exploded again and this time he was with me. Groaning and cursing. The veins in his neck bulging. I held him as tightly as I could as the pleasure rolled over both of us like a tidal wave.
When we caught our breath and could move again, he gently slid out of me and, for the first time, I had a pinch of pain. He rolled off the bed and walked back toward the bathroom. I watched the flex and release of his tight firm ass, and admired the red marks my fingers had made on it.
That’s my ass.
As soon as I had the thought, I laughed at myself and fell back on the bed utterly and thoroughly wrecked.
Happier than I’d ever been in my life.
“Here,” he said, and slid a cool wet cloth between my legs.
“Mmmm, that feels wonderful.” I was hot and a little sore.
He tossed the cloth aside and I felt the bed dip as he sat next to me. “Syd, look at me.”
I shook my head. I was way too blissed out to come back to reality.
He nudged my thigh with his hand.
“Look at me.”
I opened one. “You know, you’re awfully bossy.”
“Yep. You okay?”
“I’m great. That was flippin’ awesome. When can we do it again? Like an hour?”
Wyatt barked out a laugh, his hand slipped around my upper thigh like he just wanted to hold me. “Greedy little thing. No, we can’t do it again so soon. That was maybe…too rough.”
“No way. That was perfect.”
I gasped, my eyes opening wide. “Oh my god, now I’m really not a virgin. You can’t argue with me about it.”
He laughed again and tossed the covers over both our heads so that we had our own private spot in the world. Even within the cabin where there was just the two of us.
It was the Vegas morning all over again. But this time…
“I guess we just had our wedding night,” I whispered.
“I guess so,” he said. He took my chin between his fingers and locked eyes with me. “Seriously, Syd. Are you okay with all of this?”
There had been plenty of times I wished for a girlfriend, someone I could call and tell that I had the best sex of my life. That I was fundamentally a different person than I’d been just a few days ago.
Growing up, I had the girls who lived in the trailer park. Funny tough girls who went to grade school with me. Some of them moved away. Some of them got pregnant and moved into the trailers next door to their parents. I got so obsessed with my music and videos that friendships took second place. When I moved out to Los Angeles, every friendship felt like a competition, so I stayed away.
Beatrice. I had Beatrice.
Whom I paid. “I keep telling you I’m tougher than I look, Wyatt. I wouldn’t have made it this far if I wasn’t.”
His face was serious, his eyes studied me as if he was looking for the truth in my statement. “Okay,” he said slowly, then nodded, like accepting the truth of me as I saw it. My body found all the right resting places against his. My head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest. My leg over his, my foot under his other leg.
“Hmmm,” I sighed.
“You hum a song when you are about to come,” he said.
“No, I do not,” I laughed. Because that would be ridiculous.
“Do too,” he said, his voice that low bass note, and without thinking, I harmonized with it. “Yes, that’s it. That’s the sound you make.”
“I’m just harmonizing with the sound you make,” I told him.
“Syd,” he laughed. “Are you telling me that we have a sex song?”
“I’m saying we make beautiful music together,” I said.
“So cheesy,” he said, but kissed my forehead and squeezed me tight like he secretly loved it.
I had to remind myself while Wyatt and I were real, we were only real for now. A mental reminder to keep some distance now and then would be helpful when it finally ended. I suspected there might be heartbreak involved, but I could limit the damage if I was careful.
After all, I was very good at damage control.