Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
TRULY
My emotions almost overwhelm me. This is a lot to take in. He wanted to marry me. Maybe that shouldn't be my focus with everything he laid out for me. I should probably be more wrapped up in what my parents had done. The manipulation—but is that so surprising?
When I’d gone away to school, I could see it better.
With distance, a lot of the facade of things falls away.
Those parental bonds are put to the test. Not that they were very strong, but I did still hold more faith in them than I should have.
But they were all I knew, and my grasp on how a healthy family dynamic should be hadn't been formed or really observed.
My mother had a way of always wording things to make me believe everything she did was for my benefit. Now I see it was always for her own. I was always a prop to them. I will not allow it to happen again, at least not without fighting against it.
Blake watches me, and I know he's waiting for me to respond. "I don't know what I want to do, but I do know I don't want things to remain how they have been."
"Neither do I."
Sitting closer to him, I can see the faint dark circles under his eyes. It doesn't take away from how devastatingly handsome he is, but he's exhausted and clearly not sleeping.
"Where have you been sleeping?" I ask.
"I was not staying at that hotel." His eyes bore into mine, wanting me to see the truth.
"I crashed at my office, which isn't abnormal for me.
" Not sure I care for that answer either, but it's better than a hotel.
I glance away from him. "Hey." His fingers grip my chin to pull my attention back to him, not that it ever really left.
"I won't be crashing in my office anymore.
I'll come home and sleep on the couch like a proper husband who's in trouble. "
A laugh bursts from me, making Blake give me a rare smile. At least rare since I have been home. His demeanor is usually cool and often icy, but it had not been that way with me. Until I marched into his office and demanded a divorce.
"But you came home while I was sleeping?"
"Yes, to check on you." While I hate that he stayed away, I love that he was sneaking home to look in on me.
"To watch me sleep?" I tease because I had to have been asleep when he'd been here. Blake shrugs like it's not far off the mark. "Seriously?"
"I've missed you." Blake reaches out and cups my cheek. His thumb strokes me gently in a sweet caress I'm sure would surprise anyone that knows him. The same hand that spanked me moments ago. I still can't believe we did that or how much I enjoyed it.
"I missed you at first, and then I grew pissed." Anger is a lot easier to deal with than sadness, and I clung to it.
"I noticed." A low chuckle comes from him. It's a rare sound, even from before.
"I came in kind of hot," I admit.
"I didn't hate it."
“You didn’t mind me going off in your office in front of your staff?”
“My staff has absolutely nothing to do with anything. What they think of our relationship is irrelevant to me. Now, I don’t love you being pissed at me.
” His expression turns thoughtful. “I will always adore that girl that looked up at me like I could give her the world, but I want you to stand up for yourself when needed.”
“Wow.” I take that all in. “Do you know how much that means to me? That you don’t care what others are thinking?”
“I only care what you’re thinking, and right now I don’t think it’s good when it comes to me. I fucked up.”
“This isn’t all on you.” Our parents manipulated both of us. “It’s still hard for me to believe that I could be used against you.”
“When it comes to you and me, Truly, I’m not shifting the blame of my actions onto others.”
"Yeah, that spanking thing is all on you." I bite the inside of my cheek. I can't believe I brought that back up.
"All right." I can tell he's fighting a smile too. "I will blame that one on you."
"Hey!" I smack his chest. He grabs my hand, keeping it in place there.
"Are you saying you didn't enjoy it?"
"You need to eat and sleep." I start to get up, but he snags me around the wrist, stopping me from going anywhere.
"You're avoiding the conversation." My cheeks are already filled with heat.
"Blake." His name comes out in a whisper.
"You used to call me Bear." Whoa, that takes me back and makes my heart clench. I called him that when I was a little girl. He was always so big compared to me, and that hasn't changed.
"That was a long time ago."
"Do you remember what I called you?"
"You'd do a play on my name: Truly Scrumptious, Truly Mine, True."
"And?" He lifts a brow. I search my mind but can't think of another. "Honey."
"Oh, yeah, I thought that was a normal one people say. Honey or babe, you know." I call Mabel "babe" every now and then. Blake's expression tells me he's not too pleased with my response.
"No, I don't know. Who have I ever called 'babe' or 'honey'?"
"Ahh…" I try to think back, and he waits, which starts to annoy me. "Well, I haven't been around you, so what do I know?" It's a low dig after what we just went over. I know it's not all on him, but it’s still the truth. I don’t know anything about his current life besides what he’s told me.
"Don't be a brat."
My mouth falls open. "You did not just call me that."
"Who are you running around calling honey and babe?" He tosses it back at me. I almost laugh that that’s what he’s focusing on when we are having this conversation.
"You act like I'm running all over the city shouting it."
"Now that will earn you another spanking, which you won't cop to admitting you enjoyed." I press my lips together, making it clear I'm not responding to that. "That's okay, wife." I'm pretty sure that's his new nickname for me. "Your pussy made it clear how much you enjoyed it."
I reach over and grab a pillow and nail him right in the face with it. It messes up his hair a little. A wicked smile crosses his handsome face. Oh noes.
"Is this your way of asking for another?"
"No!” Maybe? I don't know, but I'm smiling. This is the happiest I’ve felt in a really long time. Maybe even ever, if I’m being honest. He tugs the wrist that he's still holding, making me fall into him.
Blake's fingers tangle into my hair as he leans down and claims my mouth in a hard kiss. When he lifts his head, I suck in a deep breath, having lost mine.
"I called you honey when you started calling me Bear." It takes me a second.
"Bears love honey," I whisper. "Wait, I mean, like. Not like you love me or whatever. You know?"
"You keep saying I know, but I don't."
"I know." I can't stop the smirk that forms on my lips, but it doesn't matter because Blake kisses it.
“Are you hungry?”
“I could eat.”
"Come," he tells me, but he's already tugging me off the bed and leading me back toward the kitchen.
"You're bossy."
"Some things never change."
"I don't recall you being bossy with me.
" Now others, yes. He had his moments, and back then I was more than happy to oblige.
I always wanted to please him or get a smile.
Following the small orders he would give me felt intrinsically different from the ones from my parents—or anyone else, for that matter.
"You're different." He pulls out one of the chairs at the kitchen island.
"You sit; I want to cook dinner." He pauses. "Please." I peek up at him through my lashes, and for a brief second, I flash back to our childhood and me talking him into something. He had often caved for me.
"You know it's hard for me to tell you no." His face softens, a rarity. It makes him appear younger, more his age. Blake was always dressing in slacks and a button-up, even as a teen.
"I'm remembering." Have I pushed a lot of our memories to the back of my mind to make it easier to try and move on from him? To tell myself he wasn't all I'd made him up to be in my head? “Are you good with pasta?” I know we have the stuff for that.
“I’m good with anything you make me. I enjoyed the appetizer." I pause, turning back to him from the refrigerator. What is he talking about?
“The—” Then it hits me. “Blake!” I hiss his name.
A full smile takes over his face. I’m sure mine is cherry red at this point.
"You're terrible." I turn back to the refrigerator to hide my smile, feeling lighter than I have in years.