Chapter 5 #2
Jamie watched the old Subaru pull up beside the curb. The small trailer behind it had a cheerful, rainbow-colored representation of a beach on the side. Charleston, South Carolina, it said.
The driver’s door opened, and Tyler climbed out. He didn’t seem to notice them, rushing around to the backseat. After a moment, he emerged with Rowan in his arms.
Jamie couldn’t look away.
It didn’t make sense. None at all.
If he’d been walking down State Street and seen Tyler walk past, he wouldn’t have spared him a second glance. Everything about him–the shaggy hair, the tattoos and nose piercing, his clothing–was the opposite of what Jamie was typically attracted to.
He’d always picked men who were meticulous in their appearance. Clean-shaven, classically handsome faces with square jaws and full mouths. Men with tailored clothing, office jobs, and strong opinions about wine pairings at dinner.
Tyler wasn’t…He wasn’t that.
He had a mullet, for fuck’s sake.
Today, Tyler wore a mustard-yellow puffy coat that was much too big for his frame. It hung open, revealing the purple, washed-denim overalls underneath. A pale lavender beanie sat crooked on his head, and his hair was curlier than Jamie remembered it being.
Tyler was halfway up the front walk when he looked up. He froze, staring up at the assembled group on the porch.
“Um,” Tyler began, adjusting Rowan on his hip. “Hi.”
“Hello!” Dotty called out, waving.
His eyes lingered on Jamie. “What’s going on?”
“We thought you could use a hand,” Jamie’s mom said. She pointed to the little door leading up to the attic apartment. “Those are some steep stairs.”
Tyler surveyed their group, his dark brows knitting together. “Oh, that’s really nice of you,” he said, already backing up. “But I think we’ve got it.” He said the words with finality.
Jamie watched him circle around the vehicle to the back of the trailer. He whispered something in Rowan’s ear and then set him down on the curb. The toddler immediately began to cry, hands reaching up and grabbing at the hem of Tyler’s coat.
Jamie started toward them, but his mom reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “Let him,” she whispered.
“Hang on, kiddo,” he heard Tyler say, with a frantic edge to his voice. He fiddled with the trailer door. “We’ve got this, okay? Me and you, Row. Me and you.”
Rowan’s cries grew louder. The trailer opened, and from the porch Jamie could see a hodgepodge of boxes and furniture crammed into the small space. Tyler reached up, grabbed the end of what looked like a chest of drawers, and pulled.
It didn’t move.
He tried again. Nothing.
Jamie felt a sharp pang in his chest. He watched the moment Tyler gave up, his whole body visibly deflating as he stood there by the trailer. He picked up Rowan, cradling the boy against him and murmuring softly.
Jamie wanted to look away, to tell everyone gathered on the porch to give Tyler some privacy. But then Tyler turned to them with a brittle, tight smile. “We’d appreciate the help,” he said.
Jamie ached for him.
Onni and Ollie did most of the heavy lifting, while Jamie or his moms held doors open along the way. Jamie was relegated to carrying things he could hold with one hand–a potted orchid, a bag of stuffed animals, or a duffel over one shoulder.
His mom convinced Tyler to stay upstairs with Rowan so he could tell them where to put their things.
There wasn’t much–a bed, a wooden crib, a chest of drawers, a few cool baskets where they kept toys, and a folding card table.
Two mismatched wooden chairs, a beanbag chair, and a worn loveseat couch rounded out the last of the furniture.
Dotty had gotten Rowan to play on the floor where they’d set up the toys, freeing Tyler up to start unpacking. He didn’t go far, though, casting frequent glances over at his son.
Jamie set himself up in the kitchen, pulling dishes out of a box and setting them on the counter. Tyler joined him quietly, putting dishes up into the wooden cabinets.
Jamie was surprised when Tyler broke the silence. “Your moms are nice.”
“They’re amazing,” Jamie said, smiling.
“How’d they meet?”
“They worked together for years,” Jamie said.
“They were close friends. As soon as my mom noticed her feelings changing, she went to my dad and told him.” Jamie couldn’t remember much about the days leading up to his parents’ separation.
He’d been thirteen and solely focused on hockey.
Then one day, they’d sat him down, his mom had come out, and his dad had voiced his support for her.
He could look back on it now and recall the hurt his dad had felt, but at the time, it felt amicable.
“My parents sold our house and found new places,” Jamie went on.
“Mom and Dotty quietly dated for a long time before they were open about their relationship. During that time, my dad met someone, and they’ve been together since then.
I’ve got a few younger half-siblings, too. ”
Tyler had stopped putting away dishes, and was leaning against the counter, listening intently to Jamie. The tattoo of the moth around his throat looked darker than usual.
“It was hard for my parents to break up, I think. To walk away from something certain–maybe not perfect, but reliable and safe. But life got better for both of them after my mom came out. My dad’s second wife loves him to pieces.
Mom found something beautiful with Dotty.
” Jamie shrugged, not entirely sure why he was sharing all of this with Tyler.
There was a wistful look on the younger man’s face, like there was something about what Jamie said that spoke to him. Like maybe he understood.
Jamie wondered what his story was. Where he came from, how Rowan had come into his life. His gaze trailed down over the moth, over the tattooed hands. He wondered if the tattoos had their own stories too.
He wanted to know.
He was curious. Captivated.
Tyler was beautiful, Jamie realized. An other-worldly, inaccessible beauty, like a famous singer on a faraway stage.
Only Tyler wasn’t far away. He was right there, in front of him, with a smidge of dust on his pale cheek.
The meal they shared was predictably loud and boisterous. Dotty had made her pot pie, which she served with roasted broccoli and a salad.
Jamie’s mom had sat right next to Tyler, and within minutes she had Rowan giggling and bouncing on her knee. Tyler seemed to have relaxed slightly, a hesitant smile on his lips as he watched Rowan and fielded questions from Jamie’s mom.
Dotty was a rabid Muskies fan, asking Ollie and Onni questions about their division opponents and what they were working on in practice. Jamie felt a fond warmth as he sat there with his family–his blood family and hockey family blending together, and now, the new addition of Tyler and Rowan.
“You went to school here?” His mom asked Tyler. When he nodded, she went on. “When did you graduate?”
“A little more than three years ago.”
“And Rowan’s mom?” Dotty asked.
Jamie watched Tyler’s face carefully. If he hadn’t, he would have missed the way his lips pressed together for a second before he responded.
“She was a friend from school. She decided she wasn’t ready to raise a kid, and is off living her life.
” Tyler paused, and his expression softened as he looked at Rowan.
“I wouldn’t change it for anything. Having him. ”
Jamie tried to imagine what it must be like for Tyler, parenting on his own. Every time Jamie had imagined being a father, it had been with someone he’d chosen by his side. Someone he loved and trusted.
He couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.
“Is it nice coming back to see your friends?” His mom went on.
Tyler hesitated before responding. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “It’s good.”
“Do any of them have kids?”
“No.”
Jamie’s mom looked sympathetic. “That can be hard,” she offered. “Not knowing people who have children. When Jamie was little, I spent a ton of time at the library. It was a good place to meet other young parents.”
Tyler tried to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear, but it slipped right back down onto his face. “I…the library is a good idea. I haven’t had time, I guess.”
His mom looked over at Jamie then, her blonde brows raised in a silent question. It was obvious she was trying to tell him something, but Jamie couldn’t figure out what. He mirrored the same look back at her. She sniffed, looking unimpressed.
“Many of the players on Jamie’s team have young families,” his mom said, and…Right. Jamie got it now.
“My best friend Mitch,” Jamie jumped in.
“The guy who was with me when we came by your place? He’s got three kids, and his wife, Layla, is awesome.
” He caught his mom’s encouraging nod. “I go to dinner at their house most weeks when we’re playing in town.
Would you and Rowan want to come with me?
It could be cool to meet some people with kids. ”
Tyler stared at him. His mouth opened, then shut. His eyes shifted to Rowan, and then back to Jamie. “Um,” he said.
“They’re great,” Jamie went on. “Their kids are great.”
Without breaking eye contact with Jamie, Tyler reached out and brushed a knuckle over Rowan’s cheek. “Okay,” he said quietly.
The rest of the meal went quickly. Rowan started rubbing his eyes, and Tyler excused himself and Rowan to go upstairs. He thanked them all for the meal and the help with the move, and then, with a hint of hesitation, looked over at Jamie.
“Will you text me?” he asked. “About the dinner.”
Jamie smiled. “Yeah. I promise.”
What he got back was just the shadow of a smile, but still, it was something.