Chapter Twelve
TWELVE
I tossed and turned all night. Between the temperature drop in the air in the middle of the night and the strange dream I had afterward, I barely slept. My eyes peeled open before the sun had risen, and somehow I have found myself now standing outside the Malachite gate.
My eyes fix on the green swirls lazily moving about within the stone. A cluster in the centre shine brighter as I hover my hand a few inches from its hard surface. As if they sense me watching.
I contemplate what to do next, aware that a student could walk through at any moment and slam right into me.
Finally, after peering out of the alcove to ensure no one is about to come from behind me either, I settle on trying this one last time.
If it fails, at least there’s not an entire audience to watch my face heat with shame.
With a nervous swallow, I raise my right palm again.
My eyes close and Lukas’s voice infiltrates my mind as a memory comes forth.
‘Just breathe.’ He laughed. ‘Stars, why are you so stiff? Relax your shoulders.’ He shook them, making me smile.
‘Stop. You’re distracting me!’ I whined, stomping my foot because we’d been at this for almost twenty minutes and I was getting tired of my constant failure.
‘Okay, I’m sorry. Look, just close your eyes and listen to me.’
I did. I always did.
‘Everyone’s element feels different, all right? You remember that?’
I nodded. ‘Yours reminds you of a small flame sitting in the pit of your stomach,’ I said, remembering him telling me this when I’d asked.
‘That’s right!’ he praised me. ‘Each time I reach for it, I picture myself blowing air below it, helping it rise and grow. The more air I blow beneath it, the larger it becomes, until it’s right in my hands.’
My eyes snapped open as heat licked across my face.
Lukas stood across from me in his bedroom, his hands fully engulfed by orange flames.
‘See?’ He beamed. Shadows and light danced across his face.
With a clench of his fists, the flames went out.
‘Now you try. Close your eyes and try to find it inside of you. See if you can picture what it might look like. You can do this, Aria.’
You can do this, Aria, I tell myself, standing as still as possible and digging for where I know my element should be. I replay Lukas’s voice in my head again, using it to help me coax the magic out.
‘Come on,’ I hiss. ‘You’ve got to be in there.’
I search for a flame. A flicker. A drop of water.
A tendril of air – anything that would indicate what my element is supposed to be.
But seconds turn to minutes. Just like every other time, all I find is an empty pit of darkness.
Of nothing. It’s as if my hands are reaching blindly through a dark room and finding nothing solid to grab onto.
With a resigned sigh, I open my eyes and drop my hand from the stone.
What is wrong with me? Why am I so defective?
It’d be easier if I could find my gift but not harness it, than to be left like this, with nothing at all.
At least then I’d know it’s there. That there is something worthy inside of me.
Without my element I’m useless. I have nothing to offer.
Without my element I’m going to get kicked out of Valmora Academy and sent home. And that is not an option.
I turn my back on the gate, wondering if I should try to brave the dining hall while it’s still quiet, before first classes start. But right as I step out of the alcove I spot a familiar head of curly hair approaching from the same direction I’m headed.
Tilly’s pixie-like face is both a relief and a surprise in one. Our eyes connect and she leaps toward me with a little pep in her step.
‘Good morning! I was just about to wait outside for you,’ she says, holding out a delicious -smelling muffin that practically makes my mouth water just looking at it, and a paper cup of …
tea? I examine the drink as I accept her offerings.
‘That’s my special concoction.’ She points at the cup as it warms my hand. ‘Try it.’
I blow at the steam billowing from the open lid then take a sip. A warm, earthy taste flows over my tongue, with a hint of lemon at the end.
‘Holy tea gods,’ I moan, taking another sip and humming as the warm liquid pools in my stomach. ‘Can I request this every morning?’
Tilly beams. ‘I knew you’d like it.’
‘So, why were you going to wait for me?’ I ask, walking toward the exit now that I have my food sorted.
My first Sympathetic Magic class is this morning – well, the first I’m able to attend, seeing as the last one I was unconscious on the floor for.
To be totally honest, I feel a flicker of excitement.
When I was younger, attending this class was one of the things I looked forward to the most, because this magic doesn’t rely on my element.
It can’t fail me and, if I work hard, I can’t fail it.
‘Because I thought we could walk together considering we share the same class.’
My brows rise. ‘We do? Since when?’
‘Since I requested a change of schedule, so you don’t have to sit alone. It’ll be so much fun; we can even study together!’
‘You did that? How?’
‘Perks of having an aunt on the council.’ She winks. ‘I told you; I have your back.’
She changed her schedule so I don’t have to sit alone. My throat constricts. I take another sip from my tea to cover up the emotion I feel swelling within. I think Tilly notices because her smile grows.
‘Now hurry up and eat before we get to class because I heard Professor Kroff is not someone you want to get on the bad side of.’
Tilly is right. Professor Kroff is not only strict, but he’s also a bit of an asshole.
He sent one student packing not ten minutes into the class. He tossed the book the student had been reading during the lecture out of the window with a gust of air, then toppled the student out of his seat with a second gust.
‘You’re in my class to pay attention and learn. Not to sit at the back and read a fucking book. This is my time, respect it or get out!’ he chided the lot of us before he turned back around and continued with the lesson.
Tilly and I were seated near the middle of the room. I would have preferred to find a seat near the back, but unfortunately, they were all taken, one of them by a certain redhead who I’ve felt staring loathingly at my back ever since I sat down.
Tilly squeezed my forearm in encouragement when the whispers began. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before, but because it came from Moira – well, I’m just surprised my teeth haven’t been ground to dust by now. Not just for the vitriol she threw at me, but for the guy next to me.
Xavier Davis.
I didn’t recognise who he was at first. I kept my head down and refrained from making eye contact, only leaning over toward Tilly every so often to ask her a question. But it seemed when I didn’t give Moira the reaction she wanted, she got bored and moved onto her cousin beside me.
He’s been gripping his pencil with white-knuckled force for the past ten minutes. I’ve no clue how it’s not snapped in two.
I can’t help but wonder what happened to make Moira so cruel and bitter, toward her family no less. Where is her loyalty? And how long has he had her breathing down his neck like this? His whole life?
I take a curious peek at him from the corner of my eye.
My gaze trails from his clenched jaw to the vein pulsing erratically beneath the tan skin of his neck.
He’s obviously affected by the shit she’s saying, but why isn’t he saying anything back?
He’s not standing up for himself and based on the way his long legs stick out on the other side of the desk, he has to be pushing over six feet tall. He can’t be afraid of her … can he?
‘Look at you writing notes for class. What a good boy,’ Moira taunts. ‘Maybe if you pulled your head out of your books you wouldn’t be such a disappointment to the family.’ The sound of her haughty laugh grates at my ears.
Xavier stiffens, his cheeks flaming red but still he remains silent. I swear, I am seconds from turning to Moira and giving her an earful. I’m sick of listening to her voice. Sick of the way she belittles him and the way she belittles me. Who does she think she is? I’ve had enough.
But it’s as if Xavier can sense what I’m about to do because he shifts beside me and whispers in a low voice, ‘Don’t.’
His head turns just a fraction in my direction, but it’s enough for our eyes to meet. ‘It’s not worth it,’ he tells me.
My mouth opens, then closes.
The hell it’s not. Did he not just hear what she said?
I want to protest, but then I remind myself that I don’t know this person.
I don’t know what he’s been through or if he’s already gone down that route, only for it to get worse.
So instead, I reluctantly nod, understanding that his battle with her is his and my battle with her is mine.
‘She shouldn’t be allowed to talk to you like this,’ I mutter, unable to help myself.
He shrugs, rolling his pencil between his fingers. ‘She just likes to hear herself speak. Honestly, after a while it gets easy to drown out.’
Based on the way his jaw clenched as she spoke, I’m not quite sure I believe him. But I nod anyway.
‘Well, it seems we have something in common, Xavier Davis. Because I can’t tell who she hates more. You or me.’
‘Probably you,’ he states, tapping his pencil against his desk a few times. ‘Your brother killed hers, so …’
Her brother was one of the students who died? Stars. No wonder she loathes me so much. Just when I thought this conversation was going well, he drops that bombshell on me.
‘You lost a cousin, then?’ I ask tentatively.
Xavier shakes his head, causing his floppy mop of auburn hair to fall into his eyes. ‘Don’t feel bad about it. I don’t. He was no family of mine.’