Chapter Fifty-Six
FIFTY-SIX
Sebastian
Grief is not unfamiliar to me. It’s a sombre companion that waits in the corners of my mind until I’m alone.
It strikes in the quiet moments. For years, it consumed me.
Swallowed me whole until I felt like I was not only mourning my parents, but also the boy I once was.
He died alongside them that night. Grief became me, stuck inside an empty house.
Forced to walk hollow hallways and rooms barren of life.
All the finery that I passed, touched, slept beside meant nothing. Not when all I wanted was them.
As I grew older, I found things to distract myself from the loneliness. Such as weaponry. I practised with knives and swords then moved onto staves; I picked up a bow and arrow too. Anything my grandfather had in his armoury I pulled down and practised with. And then came my magic.
Fire – just like my mother. The day it manifested I cried for hours, not only because I’d burnt a wall of books in my grandfather’s library, but because the flames that burst from my hands were tinged in green.
Amber with licks of emerald. They reminded me so much of her, and at first, I thought it was punishment.
Even my magic wanted to remind me what I’d lost. I hated it.
Nicks was the one who shifted my perception, knocking sense into me in my first few weeks at ValAc.
I owe a lot to him, my fidelity, my life.
He’s the one who pulls me away from the wall now – the wall I just watched Arianell get sucked inside of.
Her blood still stains the stone; our kiss still lingers on my lips.
‘Let me fucking go!’ I roar, shoving an elbow into Nicks’ side, grappling to get free of his hold.
I leap forward and slam my hands against the stone, my palms smearing Arianell’s blood as I attempt to force my way inside.
I pour my almost depleted magic at it; I can feel the fire burning out inside me.
‘Fuck!’ I scream, enraged at my inability to break through.
Nicks yanks me back again, then spins me around and shoves at my shoulders.
I stumble back and all but snarl at my mentor.
How the hell did she do that? The shadows – I saw them.
They seeped out from behind her back. They latched onto her and stole her from me.
They took her! That familiar ache of grief threatens to take me under, to steal the breath from my lungs and drop me to my knees.
Not her. Fuck! Not her. Something in the centre of my chest starts to burn with pain as I hear her voice scream my name again.
‘Calm the fuck down, Zain!’ Nicks commands, authority lacing every syllable. But I see the hesitation in his eyes. He’s only seen me this angry one time, and it didn’t go well.
‘Move aside.’ My teeth grind together so hard, I feel my temples pulse in pain. I don’t want to hurt him, not again.
‘Not until you tell me what happened and why the hell there’s a trail of blood across the starsdamn hall.’
‘It’s not mine. It’s hers.’
‘Who?’ His brows raise.
‘Arianell!’ I shout. ‘She went through the fucking wall.’ I point behind him, at the dark stain where her back had been pressed. ‘Something pulled her in.’
Nicks spins, then looks back and forth, between me and the wall with wide eyes. ‘That’s impossible.’ When I don’t answer he presses his hand to the stone and feels along it, his brows furrowing. ‘How? What happened?’ he asks, slowly.
My pulse skitters as Achātēs’ name sits on the end of my tongue.
Like a bucket of ice water has been dumped over my head, my back stiffens.
I whirl around, realising that I just left him there.
The moment Aria was taken, I forgot about the monster at my back.
Now though, as my eyes scan the empty hall – his absence is glaringly obvious.
‘No!’
My feet start moving, and I’m running across the Grand Hall toward the pool of blood outside Agate’s gate.
The dagger Aria threw is there, the silver of the blade barely visible.
I search left and right, then stalk toward the gate.
There’s not a single speck of blood anywhere but where I saw him last, falling to his knees. No trail to indicate where he went.
‘He’s gone.’ The words rush out of me on an uneven breath. Even if he went through Agate’s gate, there’s no way I can get inside to chase after him. And I have no doubt in my mind that the fucking soul -eater won’t stay down there for long. He’ll escape.
‘Zain! Tell me what is going on right now, or I swear —’
‘Achātēs was here,’ I cut him off. ‘We were right all along, it was him, Nicks. I came to look for Arianell when I couldn’t find her at the ceremony and she all but fell into me being chased out of Agate’s gate. He’d hurt her. Badly. And I —’
‘Woah, slow down, how did Arianell get inside of the gate? Did she tell you why she was in there?’
‘No. I don’t know. Fuck!’ I step back when Nicks tries to touch me. I don’t want to be touched. I don’t want his comfort – I don’t deserve it. ‘I miscalculated. I lost my starsdamn head, and now he’s gone. Shit. I let him go! He could be anywhere right now.’
‘Hey, look at me. We will find him, okay ? Is this his blood?’ Nicks points to the blade and puddle at my feet. I nod.
‘Good. That means he’s injured, and from the amount of blood loss, I’d say pretty fucking severely, which should slow him down. We need to make a plan, and fast.’
As the words leave his mouth, I hear it.
The telltale sound of inebriated students.
They’re coming. Returning from the celebration I abandoned the second I realised Arianell was gone.
I’d scoured through the crowd, searching for her beautiful face, but I was quickly swarmed with students trying to pull me into the fray and drink with them.
Lilly found me and let me know Arianell had been feeling sick and had left at least an hour earlier.
Part of me is pissed at Lilly for not going back with her. Making sure she made it in one piece, especially in the dark. But it’s not her job to protect Ria. It’s mine. And I failed.
‘What do you propose, Nicks, because I’m five seconds from grabbing the first Agate student I find and slamming them into that gate until they let me the hell through.’
‘Achātēs’ cover is blown,’ Nicks starts.
‘He won’t return parading as Bartollo Zain, he wouldn’t be that foolish.
Which means Valmora Academy no longer has a headmaster and we need to come up with a reason why that won’t land you in a cell.
’ He gestures to the blood, the trail that stains the marble and stone.
You won’t get her back if you’re stuck beneath Agate or on trial for murder.
They already blame Lukas for what happened last time, maybe we can … ’
‘Don’t,’ I warn, pointing a finger at him. Already sensing where he’s leading. ‘Don’t you dare say it. I won’t. I refuse to do that, Nicks. Not to her. Not after everything she went through.’
‘Do you have another option?’ he snaps, spreading his arms wide.
‘If you do, tell me what it is because I’m all ears.
But as I see it, we’re already knee deep in shit.
Everything we’ve been working on for the past several months is about to go up in flames if we don’t sort this out. And I mean right now.’
My hands tug at my hair as I turn and start to pace. But the racket outside gets louder. ‘This isn’t fucking fair! She doesn’t deserve this.’
‘I know,’ he agrees, solemnly. ‘But once this is over, everyone will know the truth. Once we find him again, and we will, I promise you that. But if we try to tell them what we know,’ – he points to the double doors – ‘there’s a chance no one will believe us.
We still don’t know who has been working with him this whole time. ’
I’ve never hated Nicks before. But at this moment, I feel something close to it.
What he’s asking me to do – it will change me.
More so than when my parents died, or when Lukas died too.
More than when I first realised my grandfather was no longer my grandfather and instead inhabited by a depraved and corrupt Star.
This goes against everything I’ve lived and breathed for the past few months.
What I swore in my heart to do. To protect her.
My Ria. Instead, I’ll have to lie about her, condemn her, paint her as a villain.
I try to tell myself it’s for her. Buying me time to find her and bring her back.
But that doesn’t quell the bitter taste in the back of my throat.
It only intensifies when the doors burst open, drunken laughter and loud voices filling the Grand Hall.
Dozens of students flounder in, but the second they see us, they stop dead in their tracks.
Tipsy smiles fade and glassy eyes drop to our feet, then track along the floor until they reach the hidden alcove of the broken tower.
Nicks stiffens beside me as Kroff pushes to the front of the line.
‘What in the Stars is going on?’ he demands.
‘Why have you all st —’ His punchable face turns our way.
He too takes in the scene, but unlike the students, he doesn’t stand there gawking.
No, the fucker lunges at us, rage and accusation swirling in his eyes.
He doesn’t get far though, because someone bursts through Agate’s gate with a loud, pained cry.
The sudden commotion has everyone’s heads turning to watch as Tilly Revlock falls to her knees.
Her hazel eyes find mine instantly, as if she predicted that I was standing right here.
Tears stream down her cheeks, cutting streaks through the blood smeared across her skin.
My stomach bottoms out as she mouths one word before she collapses, face down on the stone.
‘Run!’