Chapter 4
THE DREAM
Jules stood in a small room while the buzzing of the backstage continued beyond the door.
Behind her, the small TV played the show’s opening monologue with the host cracking jokes.
She caught glimpses of it in the mirror in front of her.
The jokes weren’t that funny to her. Maybe it was him.
The host she used to love as a teen but now, in person, gave off the worst vibes.
The soft glow from the vanity lights illuminated her as a hairdresser finished adjusting her hair. Now and then, the muffled sounds of the live audience and crew filled the space, making her heart race. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
It was just a late-night interview. Nothing she hadn’t handled before.
Her eyes locked into her own reflection as she repeated the mantra in her head: It’s okay, it’s okay… She barely even noticed when Chris arrived. When she finally did, his comforting smile was the first thing she saw, and her head was instantly quieter.
He closed the door behind him, lingering for a second, looking at her with a small smile at the corner of his lips. The longer he stared, the warmer her cheeks got, so he moved towards her.
“Hey, Blaze,” he greeted, leaning in for a gentle kiss. Jules smiled against his lips. “You’re going to do great. Don’t worry.” He needed no words to know how tense his wife was.
She let out a small, frustrated sigh.
“I hate live shows.” She confessed. The unpredictable nature of live television always unnerved her, no matter how many times she did it.
“I know,” he replied as his fingers traced over her still slightly warm cheeks. “But you’re always great. People love how funny you are at these things.”
Jules gave him a skeptical look. Without him as her constant cheerleader, she wasn’t sure she’d have reached this point in her career.
From the first project they worked on—the one where they met— he’d put her on a pedestal.
Always the first to remind her how good she was, how capable, how brilliant.
He’d given her the confidence no one else ever had.
She'd started out writing and acting in that project, but with his support, she didn't let herself be boxed in. She wanted to do a lot, and she sure did. Before long, she was playing major roles both behind and in front of the camera.
It was the first relationship she’s ever been in where her partner didn’t try to dim her bright light or quiet her loud personality.
On the contrary, he loved it. He embraced every bit of her fire, her chaos, her too-muchness.
He encouraged her to be more, to be louder, to take up space.
With him, she never felt like she had to shrink herself to fit someone else’s comfort.
The hairstylist finished her work and quietly stepped away, leaving the couple alone.
Chris turned her chair so she could fully face him, then kneeled in front of her.
His hands rested on her thighs, but it didn’t take long for them to start wandering upward.
Jules caught the movement and shot him a look.
“Quickie to shake the nerves?” He teased with a smirk.
“Christopher!” Her face went all shades of pink as she grabbed his hands before they could go any further.
He laughed. “I love it when you get all rattled like this.”
She tried not to, but his stupid grin was contagious, and she found herself smiling.
The joke almost worked because her shoulders felt a little lighter.
Just not enough. Chris quickly noticed. His hands found hers, and his expression shifted to a more serious one.
He gave her hands a gentle squeeze, trying to ground her in the moment.
“You’re safe,” he whispered, his face locked on hers. “I’ve got you.”
Jules tried to focus on her husband’s reassuring words, but the sounds around her began to blur, replaced by the distant roar of a loud crowd.
The noise grew louder, like a wave crashing into her consciousness, pulling her away from the safety of that moment.
The scene dissolved, the dim lighting and stark white walls shifting to something else.
She could still hear his voice, faint and distant, echoing through her mind. “I’ve got you…” But it felt further and further away with each passing second.