Chapter 15
JULES
It was honestly ridiculous when I thought about it. All those years ago, when I was about to get married, I let imaginary scenarios with a fictional version of a guy live rent-free in my head, like a love-struck teenager. George was real. Someone I could’ve spent my life with.
If I hadn’t been so lost in that daydream, maybe I would’ve seen the signs.
How George and I drifted, slowly forgetting to be a couple.
Not for others, but for ourselves. Maybe I could’ve done more before it was too late.
Before we were so far gone, so quietly unhappy, that we’d become more like roommates.
Raising kids, sharing a bed, but no longer seeing each other.
Instead, I’d let Dream Chris waltz around my brain for years.
So. Many. Years. If I wasn’t mad at Chris before, I was fuming now.
The drive home was a blur, but as soon as I stepped into the house, the sound of Nova and Liam arguing yanked me back to reality. Their voices echoed through the living room and hallway.
“You’re too young for this game.” Liam declared.
“I’m six! I’m not a baby!” Nova shot back.
“I’m not letting you play, and that’s final.”
I was halfway to stepping in when Nova’s voice rose again.
“You don’t have to let me do anything,” she said, ice-cold. “Give me the remote before I go upstairs and accidentally step all over your monstrous LEGO tower thing.”
Oh. Okay. Nova didn’t need my help. She had this covered.
I walked into the room in time to see her snatch the remote out of Liam’s reluctant hands. In the kitchen, Carol was sitting at the counter, holding her coffee and a magazine, completely unfazed.
I went straight to the coffee-pot, grabbed a mug, and poured some coffee, a quiet exhale slipping past my lips. My body was still recovering from the roller coaster of the last hours.
“Good morning.” Carol greeted me, barely containing her excitement.
“Morning,” I said, keeping my tone neutral as I sipped my coffee.
Her eyes were boring holes into the side of my face, silently demanding answers without ever asking the questions.
I gestured toward the living room, where Nova was now deep into her game while Liam sat next to her, arms crossed, still sulking. “I see the day is off to a good start.”
“They are arguing about something insignificant. It’s how siblings show love,” Carol replied with a shrug.
“Oh, I’m well aware,” I smirked before opening the fridge and pretending to look for food, hoping to avoid a shift in conversation.
Carol leaned against the counter. “So?”
“So, what?”
“You slept with Chris Jones. Are we not gonna talk about it?”
Before I could even think of a response, my phone buzzed on the counter. Thank God! I grabbed it like it was the most urgent message I’d ever received. It wasn’t. Just a text from George: “Did you get the box?”
Fuck. I really hoped this wasn’t what I thought it was. Did he somehow take ‘stop sending flowers’ to mean ‘start sending something even bigger and more expensive?’
Carol didn’t buy it. “Was that him?”
“No.”
“Are you seeing him again?”
“No,” I said again, sharper this time.
Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh… that bad, huh?”
I ignored her, scrolling through my phone.
I didn’t want to talk about it, even if it was with her.
Not yet. I loved Carol, but how was I supposed to explain…
everything? It wasn’t the fact that I’d slept with Chris Jones.
It was the daydreaming-about-him-for-over-a-decade part.
And how it impacted all aspects of my life.
Knowing my sister, this wouldn’t be a quick chat, and I needed a break. A bath, a solid twenty minutes soaking in hot water, and pretending none of this happened, and the world outside didn’t even exist. But Carol, being Carol, wasn’t about to let it go.
“What was wrong with it?”
Why do younger siblings have to be so annoying?
I sighed, continuing to ignore her. I turned toward the stairs, silently praying for peace. She caught the cue but, of course, followed anyway.
“What are we working with here? Small? Weird-looking? Too big?”
“Carol, please.” I groaned.
“Was he into some kinky stuff? I always assume Hollywood people are into some weird shit.” She added, unfazed, as if I hadn’t begged her to stop.
I didn’t dignify that with an answer. Instead, I turned and climbed the stairs.
“I’ll give you a minute because you clearly need it,” she called after me.
“But I expect a full report at some point.”
I paused at the top of the stairs, glancing down at her.
“I might need a couple of minutes.”
“Okay,” she shot back, “but I have to know what is wrong with Chris Jones’ di—” Her sentence cut off abruptly. I frowned, leaning over the railing to see what stopped her, and there they were. Carol, standing frozen, face-to-face with Nova, whose innocent little eyes were so wide.
“Oh! Hi, sweetheart,” Carol stammered, “I was just… talking about… a dinosaur. You know. Uh, fossils?”
“Who’s Chris Jones?” Nova asked. Like her aunt, she wasn’t going to buy whatever nonsense was being sold to her. I bit back a laugh. Carol shot me a look, silently begging for help, but nope. I was out.
As I turned to escape my room, I heard. “Oh no! Look at the time!” Carol blurted in a high-pitched voice. “You’re going to be late for school, sweetie! Come on, let’s get moving.”
I barely noticed the amount of food I was shoving into my mouth with my eyes glued to my laptop.
So much to do.
The container I’d thrown together this morning sat open on my desk, half-eaten. I was so focused on whatever I was doing that I didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching or the door opening.
“I read an article about the dangers of eating too fast. I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.” Nana’s voice cut through the quiet.
I jumped, the fork slipping from my hand and banging onto the desk.
“Nana! You scared me!” She smiled, completely unbothered by nearly giving me a heart attack. “I love when I get to see you, but you know you can’t come barging into my office every day, right?” I said, trying to clean up the mess.
“How else am I going to see you? You’re always here.
” She shot back. She wasn’t wrong. I was always at the office.
After the divorce, this place had become my hideout.
Work was predictable, and I could hyper-focus away.
My kids were busy with school and every extracurricular under the sun.
Carol was off being her social butterfly self.
And me? I was trying to keep the pieces from falling apart.
If I could excel at work, at least I had something to feel good about.
I sighed and snapped my computer shut. Then I got up and walked around to help her into a chair across from me.
“It’s lunchtime. You’re supposed to be on a break.” Nana said, raising an eyebrow at me as I sank back into my seat.
I rubbed my temples, letting out a small laugh.
“My mind’s working extra slow today, Nana.
I couldn’t get much done this morning, hence the working through lunch…
” The truth? I’d been scrolling social media for at least two hours, trying to muster the energy to focus.
Even when I finally started, I almost threw my laptop across the office after reading the emails full of ridiculous questions from colleagues who should’ve known better by now.
I hadn’t answered a single one because I knew if I did, it’d probably land me a trip to HR.
Instead, I stuck to brainstorming slogans for a new campaign.
Nana gave me a look. “Sure, sure,” she said, dragging out the words. “Any particular reason your mind’s working against you today?”
“Not enough sleep,” I muttered, filling my mouth with food, hoping it would be enough to stop the interrogation I could see coming behind her eyes.
“Mmmhmm…” She kept quiet. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she studied me like she always did when trying to get the truth without saying a word.
It was like she had a Jedi mind trick where her silence alone made me want to confess everything.
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, trying not to crack.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
She shrugged.
“Ugh!” I groaned, leaning back in my chair, arms crossed like a petulant kid.
“Okay, okay… I’ll tell you everything. Just stop with the eyes!
” Her lips twitched like she was trying to hide a smile.
Mission accomplished, Nana. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word this without making it sound worse than it was.
Screw it. Rip off the Band-Aid. “I spent the night with someone.” I blurted out.
She didn’t even blink. “It’s nice to hear you’re moving on from that slack.”
I froze, my jaw practically hitting the floor. Nana had never said a word about George. Good or bad.
“Come on, Nana, George was a good husband,” I said defensively. “I was the one who ruined us…”
She leaned forward, her eyes softening.
“My darling, you’ve always been too quick to blame yourself for everything. No one person is fully responsible for the end of a marriage, trust me. It takes two people to make it work and two to break it apart.”
I let her words sink in. She was good. She always knew what to say. But in this case, she didn’t know the whole story, and even if she did, she would never side with the slack over her favorite granddaughter.
Then Nana, being herself, leaned back in the chair, crossed her arms, and gave me a mischievous look.
“But go on… tell me about your new lover.”
I nearly choked and cringed so hard I was surprised I didn’t pull something.
“I’m not going to talk about this with you, Nana.” I shot back.
“Oh, come on! I’m a modern Nana. We can talk about sex!” She teased, grinning and clearly enjoying every second of my discomfort.
“Oh my God!” I buried my face in my hands. She was absolutely loving this. I could hear it in her laugh. I sighed, dragging my hands down my face and trying to collect myself. “I don’t think it’ll work out, though,” I said, my tone quieter now.
She tilted her head, watching me closely. “Oh no… and why’s that?”
“We’re just… from different worlds,” I mumbled, barely able to force the words out because it felt too real, too final.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced at the screen.
Another text from Chris. That made five now.
Five unread, unanswered messages sitting there like tiny grenades waiting to blow up.
My thumb hovered over the screen, but instead of opening it, I flipped the phone face down like that would somehow make it all go away.
Nana was, of course, watching me. After a moment, she finally asked, “Are you sure you can’t find a world where you both fit perfectly?”
Oh, sweet, sweet Nana. I couldn’t help but wonder what she’d say if she knew the whole story. She wouldn’t call me crazy. Her unconditional love for me was way too blind for that, but I was pretty sure she would stop with the encouraging looks.
“I don’t think so…” I muttered.
Nana smiled back at me, completely unfazed, like she wasn’t getting it. Like I’d told her some romantic story from a rom-com meet-cute when I was clearly avoiding the simple thought of him.
“Maybe you should invite him to lunch tomorrow,” she suggested casually.
“I’m busy tomorrow,” I shot back quickly.
“Not at lunchtime, you’re not,” she countered as fast. She stood up and smoothed her skirt.
“Where are you going?” I blinked at her, in shock.
“Oh, I’ve got plenty to do. You’re not the only busy one, you know. I’m a very important old lady,” she joked and laughed. I loved that laugh.
I watched as she grabbed her purse and made her way out. When the door clicked shut, I exhaled, like I didn’t have to carry the heavy mask anymore. I could go back to being miserable. And looking like it.
My eyes drifted back to my phone, the messages still sitting there, like they were daring me to look.
There was nothing he could’ve said to make things better, so what was the point of reading them?
Make me feel worse? No, thank you. Whatever this thing was between us, it didn’t belong in real life.
Chris Jones and I were a glitch in the universe. Some cosmic joke that I’d been too foolish to entertain. In the real world, we would never work. I swiped to delete the messages. It was easier to ignore. To forget. To convince myself that none of it mattered.