Chapter 16 #2
And whilst Isaac didn’t sound overly enthused about his parents’ lives, they were, for the most part, a true reflection of the people who had raised him.
His father was always off traveling for work, and Isaac’s mom?
Well, she was the epitome of a busybody.
She embodied the phrase utterly and completely.
I’d often ruminated about whether she might have it tattooed somewhere on her body.
Whether it was running or Pilates or a new modern class that they were offering at one of the new gyms a few towns over, she was always on the move.
And even though we were no longer at school, she was also head of the PTA and other faculty teams pushing for more community events.
Growing up, Isaac hated it. His Mom was always around but never truly present, which did nothing but remind him of how absent his father always was.
It was why he’d spent many an evening and weekend at my grandparents’ dinner table just like he was now.
I got that being a parent was hard, but my grandparents seemed to get it right from the very beginning, and I felt very lucky for that.
“You’ll be up in the Big Apple with that MBA soon enough.” My grandfather smiled as he settled back into his designated seat on the other side of my grandma and opposite me.
Isaac was sitting in the very coveted and honoured guest seat that may as well have been his, given how often he had found himself in it growing up.
“Do you actually think you’ll move to New York?”
Isaac shrugged, although I knew him better than to buy into the nonchalant bullshit that he was currently selling. Bullshit for a dollar, bullshit for a dollar! Buy one shrug, get the second one free!
“I’m undecided. I’m going to try out for the NLL.” The National Lacrosse League.
“Isaac,” I beamed at him. “That’s amazing!
The Black Wolves would be lucky to have you.
” The Black Wolves are the Connecticut NLL lacrosse team.
Darling and the surrounding towns were situated clustered at the very corner of the state.
We pretty much lived in our own world, but we were technically in Connecticut, with most of the town living and breathing the sports teams. An appointment on the Black Wolves NLL team was a fast track to the Darling Hall of Fame.
One that would sit Isaac along with that one soap opera actress and the guy who ate fifty pies in under ten minutes at the county fair.
His brow furrowed for a second before he looked up at me with weary eyes. “I’m not trying out for the Black Wolves. I’m trying out for the Philadelphia Wings.”
Oh.
“It’s just closer to New York. So, if I ever need to go into the city for interviews… It’s just easier.”
Right.
Merriam-Webster's dictionary describes a best friend as one’s closest and dearest person.
A person who, despite their annoying quirks and their endless lacrosse references, you could be completely yourself around.
A person you could tell anything to. And in the drop of my smile and the flicker of uncertainty on my face, we felt like the furthest thing from that.
For a beat and then two, I stammered to get my words out, not really knowing what to say.
It wasn’t because I wasn’t proud of him, because I was so incredibly proud of everything that he had done and how hard he had worked, but there was still a part of me that wanted us to stay in Darling.
The idea of him leaving was painful to think about.
In hindsight, it was an obvious one, but it felt bittersweet.
Other than his father’s lake house, all our memories were of Darling.
And I was loyal to this place to a fault.
But I couldn’t help but feel disappointed and dejected that Isaac didn’t feel the same way.
I knew he had always felt a certain way about his upbringing.
One that I couldn’t blame him for. I’d always known that there was a possibility that he would leave Darling behind, in the hopes of letting go of the ache that seemed to linger in his chest. Maybe I was taking it personally, but I couldn’t help but feel like, after everything, he was letting go of some of the good, too.
Despite my feelings, I pressed the biggest smile to my face, hoping for his sake and mine that it reached my eyes. “I completely understand. Philadelphia isn’t too far away anyway, so we will definitely still see each other!”
A grin tore across his face at my response. “I just knew you would get it. Darling just isn’t for me. I mean, I know we grew up here and have some amazing memories. But I’m just ready for a change, you know.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone,” my grandfather said, patting Isaac on the shoulder. For a boy with an absent father, Horace Sterling had been a lifeline for Isaac, the way he had been for me. “We are proud of you. Not easy work playing lacrosse and doing an MBA.”
“And all whilst being so handsome and charming,” my grandmother said as she relished in the blush creeping up Isaac’s cheeks.
“Christ alive, Maura.” I chuckled. “Grandpa is sitting right there.” I made an overexaggerated display of cocking out my thumb and motioning across the table.
Isaac laughed to himself before looking at me. An almost misplaced seriousness settled onto his face. “You’ll talk to Ez? She hasn’t spoken to me in three days since I told her. She’s being really bitchy about it.”
For the entirety of our young adulthood, the three of us were inseparable.
We’d never had any issues because we abided by a set of fundamental rules that had kept our friendship going as long as it had.
These rules had been even more crucial for me in particular when their friendship had blossomed into a budding romance.
Rule number 1. The other party must agree not to get involved when the other two parties are having a disagreement.
I let out an exasperated sigh and a weary smile.
Do not get dragged into their bullshit, I told myself.
Unlike a comfortable and homey bowl of chicken pot pie, whatever was simmering between them and threatening to boil over was going to leave a chaotic mess in its wake.
And I, for one, was not ready to be caught in the crosshairs. “What’s rule number 1, Isaac?”
“What’s rule number 4?” Isaac bit back a little too aggressively for my liking. I looked at my grandparents, who were both already standing up from the table. God bless their ability to read a room.
Rule number 4. Each party must always, to the best of their ability, help the other when in need.
These are rules that we came up with when we were children.
An addendum was issued to the rules formally when Esme was welcomed in as the third member of our little ragtag band.
The rules are contradictory. And thank God, none of us ever decided to do law because our track record really wasn’t working in our favour.
“You know for a fact that rule 4 does not supersede rule 1.” I sighed. “What’s even the problem? And don’t call her a bitch again.”
“I didn’t call her a bitch, I said she’s being—”
I cut in before Isaac could speak again. “I don’t care, Isaac. That’s not the way we talk about each other. That has never been the way we talk about each other. What has gotten into you?”
Isaac looked at me indignantly and then laughed. It was cold and icy and anything but kind. Anything but Isaac. “I can’t believe it.”
“You can’t believe what?”
“You’re taking her side! We have been friends far longer than she has even been around.” Because six years was nothing?
I pinched the bridge of my nose before looking up at him.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side, Isaac. I am happy for you.
And so unbelievably proud. Whether you decide to go and work in New York or Philadelphia, you know, hands down, I will be behind you every step of the way.
But I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy.
Or that it isn’t bittersweet. Or that Esme isn’t justified in needing to process this in her own way. ”
He continued to stare at me, expression unwavering.
“I am allowed to be proud of you, whilst simultaneously understanding that our best friend, and more importantly, your girlfriend of six years, is allowed to be upset with the trajectory of your life. She’s your biggest champion.
And she’s allowed to be upset at the idea of you moving away. Long distance is hard.”
“I’m not sure I want to do long distance.”
And I’m no longer sure I’m the one you should be having this conversation with.
“Everything comes easy to her. I am just another accessory to her life and I’m tired of it. I want people to see me for my own achievements. Not for hers.” He almost spat the words. And the resentment seemed to pool out of him now.
And I didn’t know where his anger stemmed from.
He knew how hard she had worked to get where she was.
Psychology was a difficult subject. And Esme had been constantly underestimated as a result of the way she looked and because of her refreshing attitude to science.
She had spent all her undergraduate degree needing to get her papers remarked because her first lecturer had been a jealous old crone.
But she, like everyone else, had worked with unrelenting determination to get where she is.
Her recent scholarship to do a PhD at Aldercrest University felt like a lifetime of work coming together.
And she had done it all with the grace of someone who had always made time for me, and always made time for Isaac.
She was at almost every lacrosse match. Made time to call and watch every old movie with me when I was feeling sad, and…
and maybe I was taking sides. But I was justified.
Isaac was being ridiculous. Did they have to stay together?
No. Did he get to blame her for everything that he thought was wrong with his life? Over my cold, dead body.
“You’re being fucking ridiculous, Isaac.” I rolled my eyes at him now. “And it feels like you’re taking all the work she has put into supporting you for granted.”
“No, I’m just finally putting myself first. It is one of many teachings of The Church of the Black Sun,” he pushes out of his chair to standing and barges out of the kitchen.
What the fuck is the Church of the Black Sun?
“I don’t think this is working anymore, Quincey.” I turned around to look at him incredulously.
“Your relationship?”
His lips disappeared into a tight line. “This friendship.”