29. Chapter 29 #2
He doesn’t tuck his face into my hair, but it looks like a near thing.
Like he has to physically hold himself back those last few inches.
His breath fans out slowly, and I wonder if my proximity is affecting him just as much as his is affecting me.
I wonder if he feels the same sense of rightness, of relief, that I do.
“What you heard,” Henrik says softly, no need to raise his voice now that I’m right in front of him, “what I said, was completely unacceptable. I hate that you caught those words coming from my mouth, but what I’m even more ashamed of is that I spoke them in the first place.
When I found out you worked here”—he swallows harshly—“I was incredibly jealous.”
“You were?” I ask quietly, even though it’s much as I suspected.
I don’t even have to peek backwards to know my coworkers are watching with rapt attention. I can’t blame them. This is better than daytime drama.
“I was,” he confirms with a sharp nod. “It’s no excuse, but it caught me off guard. I was jealous, and I reacted poorly. I lashed out and said things I can never take back.”
“What’d you say?” Dixon calls out, even though he well knows. He’s not nearly as ready to forgive Henrik as I am.
Henrik answers him steadily, though the weight of his attention never strays from me.
“I spoke poorly of Mal’s job, which was judgmental and completely unfair of me.
I implied he was only with me for my money, when I know that is not the truth.
” He does? “And I said I couldn’t trust him. But I do. I absolutely do.”
“I never tried to lie to you, Henrik,” I say a little shakily.
“I know ,” he responds, his palm trailing down my arm to my hand. He threads our fingers together tentatively. “I know that. And now, when I comb back over some of the things you said in the past, I realize I simply failed to hear what you were saying.”
“Does it bother you?” I ask, practically holding my breath as I wait for his response.
“I’m coming to terms with it,” he replies, which is not exactly the answer I was hoping for, but an honest one.
“And I will. Because Mal, I can’t fathom the idea of this being the end.
” He shifts a little closer to me, his face beside my hair, his small inhale audible.
“You’ve changed me. And I don’t ever want to go back to that version of myself I was before.
I don’t want to go back to a time where I didn’t have you . ”
“But,” I say softly, my eyes flicking over my shoulder to Alex, who’s clutching his chest. He gives me a wobbly smile. Facing forward, I all but whisper, “You had Genevieve end our contract.”
Benji scoffs, and when my gaze trails to him over Henrik’s shoulder, the man is rolling his eyes. But Henrik immediately pulls my attention back his way.
“I did,” he says, speaking just as quietly. “Because when I ask you to accompany me on a date, I want you to know it’s real. And that you have a choice.”
My breath stutters, and when an aww sounds out from behind me, I realize it’s time to move this conversation somewhere without an audience. I turn Henrik toward the door. “C’mon, let’s go find some privacy.”
Henrik nods, not protesting in the least as I lead him past Benji, who gives me a small smile. There’s a whistle and some happy chatter as we go, and someone says something about “needing a daddy of their own,” but no one seems to mind us slipping from the room.
We’re almost to one of the private suites when Jerome’s voice rings out, halting us. “Malibu.”
Turning in place, I appraise my boss, who’s looking at me with a highly arched brow.
“Everything all right here?” Jerome asks, pointedly eyeing Henrik.
“Yeah,” I say, squeezing Henrik’s hand encouragingly. “We just need a minute to talk.”
Jerome nods stiffly—I appreciate his concern—and walks off. He heads toward the team meeting as I lead Henrik into the small room in front of us, over to a couch.
“There’s a coffee table a foot in front of you,” I let him know.
“Thank you,” he mumbles, shuffling into a seat but only seeming to settle once I’m next to him. His hand flies to my thigh, more out of habit than anything else, and he stills, as if unsure the touch is welcome. But I plant my hand over his own, holding him to me, and he exhales.
“I’m still a little confused, Henrik,” I admit. “I thought, when you canceled our agreement, that was it. And I didn’t blame you. I ran off, and I wasn’t returning your calls—”
“Mal,” Henrik interrupts gently, running his hand up my arm to the side of my neck and holding tightly.
Reassuringly. He rubs his thumb over my pulse point, and the simple caress calms my frayed nerves.
“You did nothing wrong. I realize contacting Genevieve before I had a chance to talk to you in person was maybe not my brightest decision, but I wanted a fresh start and was running high on emotions, not thinking through each step logically. I didn’t think about how you would view that termination.
All I knew is that I wanted to make sure you understood my intentions when I finally had a chance to apologize. So let me make myself clear.”
He scoots closer, his thigh bumping mine, his fingers toying with the ends of my hair.
“I’m sorry . I’m truly, immensely sorry.
I never meant to hurt you, and I’ve kicked myself a hundred times over for it.
If I had a do-over, that would be it. I’d go back in time and process my feelings internally before letting my words bounce off the wall brash and untethered.
I wasn’t lying before when I said I liked you.
In fact…” He pauses, blowing out a single breath as if steeling himself.
“The truth is I love you. I love you, Mal. And before I went and fucked things up, I was trying to figure out a way to tell you that.”
“Oh,” I say quietly, stunned, my mind running in tight circles with the same revolving thought. He loves me?
“I hope you’ll give me the chance to earn your forgiveness,” Henrik goes on before I have a chance to tell him I love him, too. That of course I do. How could I not? “Because I desperately want to take you on a proper date.”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. Yes, I want to date this man.
Properly. I’ve wanted that for a long time; I just didn’t know if it was a possibility.
It doesn’t feel real, that I could be getting all those things I wanted.
That, for once, something big and earth-shattering could be going right in my life.
“Yes?” Henrik asks in surprise. “Just like that?”
“Well, yeah,” I say, attempting to smooth away the furrow in Henrik’s brow with my thumb. “Hen, I’m not mad at you. Maybe I should be, but I’m not. I want to be with you, too.”
“I…” Henrik flounders a bit before saying, vehemently, “You should be mad. Mal, I don’t want to be the next guy leaving metaphorical bruises on your throat that you brush aside, thinking it doesn’t matter.
It does . What I said was not okay, and I don’t want you to be okay with it.
You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. I don’t want you to accept it, ever.”
“Henrik,” I say quietly, his words and the obvious way in which he cares warming me. “That situation and this one are so completely different, they’re not even in the same universe.”
“I disagree.”
I shake my head. “That guy who paid for that? His intention was to hurt me. That was his goal, and he accomplished it. I let him, and he thanked me after. You never meant to hurt me,” I stress.
“And you regret it. Intention matters, and I know you’re sorry.
I can see that, and I can feel it. And I’m telling you I forgive you.
So please, accept my forgiveness. You said you wanted a fresh start, but that’s not what I want.
I don’t want to start over, Hen. I want to move forward. Move on because…”
When I hesitate, all my emotions trying to jump out of my mouth at the same time, Henrik prompts me gently. “Because what?”
“Because I missed you,” I say with a sigh. “I missed you so much these past few days. And the cats,” I add for good measure.
Henrik huffs a soft laugh, shaking his head slightly. “I’m not sure I deserve you, Mal.”
“Too bad,” I reply lightly, pulling Henrik to his feet. After the events of the past few days, I feel like I’m floating on air, my relief and happiness filling my insides like helium. Nothing could weigh me down. “No take-backsies. You owe me a date.”
“Yeah?” he asks, lips quirking.
“Yes. So c’mon. I’m ready to go home.”