Chapter 50
CHAPTER 50
MALO
“ O kay, steady, steady...” I tell Harley, as I stand behind her and guide her hand toward the target. She squeezes one eye shut, presses down on the trigger, and the bullet flashes from the barrel to the right of the center of the target.
“Shit!” she exclaims, dropping the gun by her side to reload. “I feel like I’m getting closer.”
“You are,” I assure her. “Just a little more practice and you’ll be good.”
“Almost as good as Maria, right?” she retorts, cocking an eyebrow at me.
I laugh. “Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I remind her. “She’s a better shot than most of the men here.”
“She’s going to have me to contend with soon,” Harley replies, going to aim the gun again.
I step back, giving her the space she needs to fire off the shot.
Earlier this afternoon, I offered to give Harley a hand with her shooting. She’s still a little pissed, I think, that she didn’t get a chance to take on the cartel in that final battle we waged against them. I know Beast would never in a million years have let her get involved in it, but she’s still looking for some kind of revenge, especially since I was the one to cut off El Serpiente’s right hand.
She’s glad he’s dead, of course, but it’s not the same as getting to take him out herself, and it’s obvious that she wishes she had more to do with it. These lessons are my way of trying to make it up to her, trying to show her that she’s still part of this team, and that we value her skills and abilities. Even if I’m pretty goddamn certain her father will never let her out into the field.
But giving her the tools to handle herself will make everything a bit easier. I’m impressed at how quickly she’s coming to terms with everything, how hard she’s been working. It’s clear she’s serious about showing how capable she is. Even if she’s frustrated she isn’t a master of firearms yet, with a little more practice, she won’t be far off.
She lines up another shot, and takes it. This time, it lands about an inch closer to the target.
“Getting there,” I tell her optimistically, and she sighs.
“Not fast enough,” she mutters, reloading again. I pause. There’s so much I want to say to her, but Harley has never exactly been the type to throw all her feelings out there quite so easily.
“You will,” I assure her. “You’re getting there.”
“Maybe,” she mutters. Before she lifts her gun to take another shot, I speak again.
“How are you doing, anyway?” I ask.
She pauses, glances over at me. “What do you mean?”
“With… everything,” I reply. It’s not specific enough, and I know it. I’m sure she’s going to brush the question off, but she takes a deep breath, and she answers.
“Well, it’s a little fucking weird that Bella is about to give birth to my little sister,” she remarks flippantly. “But I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be good to have a kid around. Good for my dad, too.”
She fires off another shot. She knows as well as I do that’s not what I’m talking about, but she’s not going to give me any more than she has to. She trains her gaze straight ahead and shoots three in a row, all in a straight line down the center of the target. She grins, catching her breath, and narrows her eyes for a moment before she speaks again.
“It’s still hard sometimes, you know,” she admits. I tense. This is it. The shit she never wants to come out with—the shit she struggles to say to anyone.
“Oh, yeah?”
“There are still hard days,” she confesses. She doesn’t look at me; that’s fine. I just need her to tell me the truth.
“A lot, actually,” she continues. “But I don’t… I don’t want to be a victim anymore. I don’t want everyone here walking around on eggshells when I’m in the room because they’re worried they’re going to trigger me or something.”
She finally turns to face me. “And that includes you,” she remarks, only half-joking. “You don’t need to act like I’m going to break at any moment. You know I’m tougher than that.”
“I do,” I agree. I stare at her for a moment, scanning her face. I just want to make things right with her, and this is my chance.
“Do you blame me?” I ask her quietly. The question hangs there in the air between us for a second, so big it seems overwhelming.
But then, finally, she shakes her head. “Is that what you think?” she asks, concern in her voice. “I never blamed you, Malo. Never. I shouldn’t have snuck out that night, but there was nothing you could have done to stop me, even if you’d tried. You know how I get when I have an idea in my head, right?”
“I do,” I agree. “But I?—”
“No buts,” she tells me. “You have nothing to feel bad about. And I don’t want you messing things up with Maria because you’re still hung up on what happened with me, okay?”
I smile slightly. She’s right. She likes Maria and doesn’t want me to let my past get in the way of the future I can have with her.
“Okay,” I reply. It’s the closest that we’ve come to an understanding about what happened. Harley is never going to be the type to spill her guts to anyone, but this, her words, are the closure I’ve been looking for. I finally feel like some of the weight I’ve been carrying has lifted.
“Come on, see if you can hit the center this time,” I tell her, turning my attention back to the target. “One more shot, and I’ll change it out. Okay?”
She levels the gun again, and holds her hands steady, squeezing down on the trigger slowly, and the bullet slams straight into the target, dead center.
She punches the air, unable to hide her elation. “Fuck, yeah,” she exclaims, her face lighting up. She looks so much younger when she smiles, as though the weight of everything she has been through has finally fallen from her shoulders, too.
“I knew you had it in you,” I cheer, and we exchange a high-five.
We wrap up the lesson not long after that, and I head inside to find Maria. Harley’s words are playing on my mind, about not letting my past get in the way of the future I have with Maria. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now, and I have no doubt that my heart is set on her. It’s about time I let her know just what is going on in my mind, once and for all.
And take that leap into something serious with her.
She’s up in my room, sprawled on the bed, reading some research paper, lying on her front like she’s a teenager scrawling in her diary. I pause for a moment in the doorway, just looking at her, bathed in sunlight, like a goddess.
She glances up after a moment, and notices me standing there and looking down at her.
She cocks her eyebrow at me. “What is it?” she asks, and I slide down on the bed next to her. She puts the research papers aside, sensing it’s something serious, and moves in close to me. It feels so natural, being near to her like this, as though some part of me is always longing for her closeness, whether I want to admit it or not.
“Hey,” she murmurs, hand on my cheek, those gorgeous eyes meeting mine. God, those eyes—I still get lost in them, their beauty, their depth.
“Hey,” I reply. I kiss her softly, but it soon overwhelms me, our mouths melding together in a deep kiss that sends shockwaves of desire through my body.
She catches her breath and pulls back, grinning at me. “What was that for?” she asks.
“I’m ready,” I tell her.
“Ready for what?”
“Ready to make this… official,” I explain to her. “I want to be with you, Maria. I want to give every part of myself to you. If you’ll have me, of course.”
She gazes at me, her eyes softening with something close to love. Maybe we’re already there, already fallen for each other completely, but we don’t have to say those words yet. We don’t need to, we have all the time in the world.
“Of course I will, you idiot,” she replies, and she kisses me again. I wrap her up in my arms, kissing her passionately, holding her close to me. This woman… God, this woman. I never in a million years would have imagined I could get someone like her, never would have imagined she would want me, but she makes me want to become a man who’s worthy of her.
Anything that it takes. I will be a better man, for Maria, because it’s what she deserves.
And because it’s what I deserve, too. After all these years doubting myself, hating myself, I want to give myself a life worth living.
A life worth staying sober for.