Chapter 22
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
SCOTT
T his can’t be happening.
I repeated the phrase over and over in my head as I followed my mother weaving through the crowd. There was no way any of this was happening. Soon I would wake up in my bed back in my apartment, Tessa at my side, and all of this would have been a nightmare.
Except it wasn’t a nightmare.
This really was my life. I really was in this fucking situation. I really was being drawn away from the woman that I most very definitely was falling for to go take pictures with my fiancée, a woman I most very definitely had not fallen for (and never would). And since the whole Montgomery dinner party—there were way too many people to be called a small gathering—had been thrust upon me with no notice, there was nothing I could do about it but smile and nod and pray that there was a chance that none of this was actually happening.
I really needed a drink.
I eyed a tray of champagne as a waiter approached, but before I could grab a glass, my mother pulled me down a hallway and into a powder room, shutting the door behind us.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, her brow furrowed as much as it could in its Botoxed state. It was her mad look, but only those closest to Margo Leahy Sebastian could identify it as such. To the rest of the world, I was sure she looked as polished and serene as always—her long (dyed) blonde hair perfectly coiffed, her (appropriately shaded) lipstick appearing as if it were just applied, her (plastically tightened) neck stretched high. No one would have any idea she was seething.
But I did.
Making my mother angry wasn’t a new thing for me. It didn’t even bother me anymore except that it was annoying. Particularly when I was already doing everything she and my father wanted me to do. I’d even driven out to the fucking country for tonight’s event without question, a mistake I sorely regretted at the moment. What else did she fucking want from me?
And why were we discussing it in the bathroom?
The seclusion meant I could unleash on her the way I’d wanted to since I first saw Kendra wearing the ring when I’d arrived, but I knew from experience it wasn’t worth it. Best to just oblige my mother and get it over with. “I thought you needed me for pics.”
“There are no pictures. There’s not even a photographer. I was rescuing you from yourself.”
My patience was gone. “I’m not in the mood for your riddles, Mom. What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Huddling in the pantry with a servant girl? Tonight of all nights.”
“Hold up.” I was more than annoyed now. I was bordering on livid. “First of all, Tess is not a servant—not that that fucking matters—but let’s get facts straight. She works with Kendra.”
For Kendra, rather. Which didn’t matter either. Her explanation as to why she’d pretended she had a higher position in the company than she did made sense. I knew better than anyone the tricks a person had to play, the deals they had to make, to get anywhere in this world. Still, it stung that I was the one who had been played.
It didn’t mean there wasn’t something real between us. There had to be. I felt it. There was no way it was one-sided.
“Of course she works for Kendra,” my mother said with an air of disgust.
Definitely livid now. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Here’s some advice, Scott.” She reached out to straighten my tie, though it didn’t need straightening. “Keep your philandering away from your household. Much easier to keep it quiet that way, and no matter how your wife feels about you bedding other women, I guarantee she won’t appreciate you messing with her other relationships. You can have your sidepiece. On the side . Definitely not at your engagement announcement.”
And that was the second of all.
I swiped her hand away from my chest. “When did tonight turn into a fucking engagement announcement?” Her text had said dinner with the Montgomery family. That was all. I’d found the message waiting as soon as I’d checked my phone that morning, which hadn’t been until Tess had left.
Ah. This was why she’d hurried out , I realized now. Though, I had no idea why Kendra had needed Tess here unless she had somehow known it would torture me, which was probably not the reason she’d brought her.
Then again, when it came down to it, I knew very little about my wife-to-be and even less about her motives.
No, not my wife-to-be.
But she was wearing that ring.
Fuck! This can’t be how this happens.
“I told you who would be here. What did you expect? As soon as she was in public for the first time with that ring on, it was an announcement. Not officially, of course. We’ll have an official party later to make it formal, not out of necessity. The guests tonight are close family friends of the Montgomerys, so they may keep it hush for a bit, but the news is out now. It’s going to leak. You know how PR works.”
Yeah, I definitely knew how PR worked. I was already trying to figure out how the fuck I could bury the news before it got out because this engagement was not fucking happening.
With the uncanny way she had, my mother read my mind. “It’s already happened, Scott. You agreed to this.”
That was before.
Now, my life had been turned upside down, and if there was any fairness in this world, it should have made anything I’d agreed to previously null and void.
But I knew that wasn’t how the world worked. Not even for a Sebastian.
Especially not for a Sebastian.
It felt like hours until the guests had left for the night. My parents had retired before that, which was probably all well and good since I didn’t have the energy for them. What I needed was that drink I’d been after all evening.
Actually, what I needed was to talk to Tess.
But first, I had to talk to Kendra, and that would definitely require alcohol.
I found the caterers in the butler’s pantry dumping out glasses of champagne. I snagged one and poured it back, then guzzled down one more before heading out to find Kendra.
I found her leaning against the sofa, rolling her head from side to side as though this evening had been as hard on her as it had on me. I wasn’t willing to believe that could possibly be the case.
Behind her, Leila Montgomery was managing the caterer’s clean-up duties in that kind yet still overbearing way that she had. Martin was outside with a cigar. The rain had let up, but he clung to the windows, suggesting the air was still damp and cold.
If I hadn’t met Tess, would I have been out there with him, bonding?
I shuddered at the thought.
I had no interest in bonding with the Montgomerys because there was no way in hell they were going to be my family. Why had I ever thought that was the life I wanted? I could barely remember the man I’d been when I’d made that choice.
The man who I was now had to get myself out of it. “We need to talk.”
Kendra looked up at me with weary eyes. She hesitated a handful of seconds before sighing. “Okay, we can talk in my room.”
I would have preferred not to talk there, but I realized our options were probably slim if I didn’t want the conversation to be overheard. While the guests had gone, the house was still full with the clean-up crew and Kendra’s parents and the three live-in students they were housing from China.
“Fine,” I said, loosening my tie even though I was sure it wasn’t the reason I felt like I was choking. “Lead the way.”
I’d only been to the Montgomerys’ house once before and never beyond the main floor. At the top of the staircase, I followed as she turned right but glanced down the hallway behind me, wondering which bedrooms were down there.
Correction, wondering which bedroom was Tessa’s.
“Your parents are here,” Kendra said as we passed a closed door. “In case you wanted to know.”
I didn’t, but that was helpful.
We passed one more closed door before she came to one that she opened. She went straight for her bed, where she sat down in a heap and looked at me expectantly.
I shut the door behind me and didn’t bother looking for a place to sit before launching in. “What the fuck, Kendra?”
“What?” She seemed as irritated with me as I had been when my mother had thrown the question at me earlier.
Fuck her. She had no right to be irritated. I was the one with that right at the moment. “Don’t you dare act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You just show up out of nowhere and tell the world we’re engaged without even a conversation with me? Doesn’t that seem a little presumptuous?”
She gave me a pointed look. “Because we are engaged. Did you forget?”
Actually, we weren’t. Not the last time we spoke. “What I remember is you leaving the discussion saying you needed time to decide.”
“And now I’ve decided.” She turned her head so she could take out her earring, the large stone that backed up her engagement claim catching in the room’s light.
That fucking ring. It was so big it was gaudy. Leave it to my mother to select something so pretentious.
I ran my hand over my face and forced myself to speak more calmly than I felt. “That was three fucking months ago.” All right, it was barely calmer, but I felt pretty fucking enraged. At least my volume was controlled. “You left without a word. And when I reached out a couple weeks ago to ask what the fuck, you not only didn’t respond, but you flat out disappeared.”
She threw her hands out in frustration. “Because I needed time to decide! Without any pressure!”
“Don’t pretend like I pressured you at all.” Maybe my parents had, but she didn’t get to play the pressured card. She’d had way more choice in the matter than I’d had.
She slammed her earrings on the bedside table and gave me a look that said I was being awfully dumb. “Just your existence was pressure. Any mention of the Sebastian name—and the Sebastian name is everywhere in New York City—and all I could think about was this looming, life-changing decision I had to make. It was suffocating, Scott. I had to go someplace off the map, cut off from everything and everyone in order to be able to even think clearly.”
I was well aware of how hard it was to run from the Sebastian name.
Still, I couldn’t help but think her response to what had been presented to her as the opportunity of a lifetime was both over-the-top and spoiled.
Which was neither here nor there and not what I wanted to be mad about, and I definitely wanted to be mad. “So you had to decide, fine. But you should have talked to me about it when you did decide so that I knew what tonight was going to be when I got the invite—excuse me, the command —to show up here. I walked in blind, Kendra. You wearing the ring, flashing it for everyone. Introducing me to your employees and friends as your fiancé. I didn’t even get the invite from you. I heard from my fucking mother. What the hell?”
She shrugged. “Technically, she’s the one who proposed.”
“That’s not the fucking point.” My voice was barely restrained. I was barely restrained. I wanted to smash my hand through the wall. Or throw something. Preferably, that ostentatious ring. Bonus if Kendra was still wearing it when I did.
My rage must have been evident because Kendra actually looked sorry. “Look. I don’t know what the big deal is. Your family made an offer, one that you seemed to be fully behind at the time, and now I’ve accepted it. Your parents sure seemed happy that I did. I didn’t realize there had to be a big to-do between me and you about it. What does it even matter? We already said we’re going to fuck who we want in our marriage, and I can’t think of anything else this partnership would affect, so why does this change anything?”
“It just does.” She had every right to be confused. I was confused as well. It wasn’t as if I had ever thought I’d end up with someone I loved. Shit, I didn’t even know what love was. And with the agreement that we could fuck who we wanted, there really wasn’t any reason why getting married would affect my current lifestyle.
That had been my thought back when I’d agreed to the whole thing anyway.
Now, though, there was Tess.
“Hold on. Are you having second thoughts?” Kendra’s expression said she hadn’t even considered that as a possibility.
The smart answer was to say no. The smart course of action was to stick to the agreement. It was definitely not smart to throw away my life plans for a woman I’d only known for three weeks.
“Yes, actually. I am.” So fuck being smart. It was honest.
Her brows creased in. “But what about?—”
“I know,” I cut her off. “I know what’s on the fucking line. I don’t need the reminder.” I got it enough from my parents on a daily basis. I didn’t need it from my wife-to-be as well.
Potential wife-to-be.
Even adding the qualifier didn’t make the term any less nauseating.
Fortunately, Kendra was more understanding now that I’d admitted I was rethinking our agreement. “Okay. What do you need?”
I needed to get my head on straight, was what I needed. I needed to clear my mind of romantic notions that were obviously based in lust. I needed to stop being so stupid.
I needed to stop thinking that thing I needed was Tess.
“I need time,” I said, echoing what Kendra had said the day my parents had first proposed the idea of our union. Not that time would change the situation, but I couldn’t discuss it anymore with her tonight. She couldn’t fix what I needed her to fix even if I did.
I wasn’t sure anyone could.
“Where’s my room?” I asked, suddenly exhausted.
“We’re both in here,” she said, standing.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Only now did I spot my suitcase across the room, on the other side of the bed. The butler had taken it when I’d arrived. I’d assumed he’d taken it to my own room. It wasn’t like Kendra and I needed to keep up pretenses for anyone in the household. Her parents knew as well as mine it was a marriage of convenience, not attraction. Why on earth had we been put together?
“You don’t need to be so disgusted,” she said, wriggling out of her dress. “We’ve fucked before, or was that as easy to forget as our engagement?”
“Under totally different circumstances. We aren’t even friends, Kendra.” I kept my eyes on hers, even though she was stripped down to her underwear. It wasn’t that she didn’t have a nice body—she did—and the night we’d spent together had been fine enough. Just, I wasn’t interested. “I’m not sleeping with you.”
“Well, there are no rooms,” she said, grabbing a pair of pajama shorts from a dresser drawer and slamming it shut. “The Uyghur triplets have the rooms in the opposite wing. Then your parents and Tess; this is the only room left.”
So Tess was in this wing. The closed door we’d passed. My spine tingled with the knowledge, like an antenna receiving an incoming message or the buzz of an appliance when it was plugged in.
I didn’t bother getting my suitcase. There was really nothing I needed in it. I left Kendra’s room, telling her, “I’ll sleep on a couch.”
I had absolutely no intention of sleeping on a couch.