Chapter 25
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
TESS
“ U h, you did?” Kendra’s tone suggested she was already jumping to the obvious conclusion. It wasn’t that hard to put together. She had to know the kind of guy she was marrying.
Thought she was marrying.
It would have been easy to let her fill in the blanks from there. Just as easy to tell her it hadn’t been just a one-night thing between us. That we were ongoing, and I didn’t know about her engagement; cue a pointed look at her for not thinking she should tell me. Or her fiancé, for that matter.
But Scott said trust me . And I was a sucker for those words, no matter how much my gut said otherwise. Far be it from me to choose my instincts over a boy at this point.
Besides, my relationship with her sort-of-significant other wasn’t the most crucial item on my need-to-confess list.
Careful not to shoot a glance at Scott, I met Kendra’s eyes. “We met two weeks ago. When I set up a meeting with SIC to pitch.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. We hadn’t officially met until Brett introduced us in his office. Sure, it was a technicality and belied the truth, but whatever.
And anyway, I didn’t have time to feel bad about it because now my bigger lie had been revealed, and while I sensed Scott breathing a sigh of relief at my side, I had to prepare myself for all hell to break loose.
“You what.” It was a question, of course it was a question, an request of clarification, but it came off more like a demand, hard and low in her voice.
“I, uh.” It should have been easier to say the second time. I cleared my throat. “I pitched charity partnerships to SIC.”
Her expression was cool. “Without my permission.”
“Without your permission,” I echoed.
“Behind my back.”
“Behind your back.”
“When you’ve never given a pitch before, and I explicitly told you Conscience Connect would not be pitching to Sebastian Industrial.”
“Yeah. All that.” It sounded worse laid out like that, partly because of Kendra’s even, crisp tone, but also because it was actually kind of a bad thing I’d done. I had good intentions, and good things were (hopefully) to come from it, but I’d still undermined my employer. I’d still stepped into a position I hadn’t been trained for. I’d still knowingly done something that I knew would hurt her.
“Look,” I said, admittedly wanting her to understand it in context so the bad thing I’d done wouldn’t seem quite so bad. “It happened sort of accidentally. Well, not accidentally at all, but it didn’t start with me trying to go behind your back. It was more I was in the right place at the right time—or maybe from your perspective I was just in a place at a time—but it seemed like fate because I happened to meet Brett, and I didn’t know he was a Sebastian?—”
“My cousin,” Scott interjected when Kendra’s expression turned puzzled. “He works in my department.”
I jumped back in as though there’d been no interruption. “And he said his employer was looking for a charity, and I was like, oh hey, that’s what we do, and he gave me his card and set me up with his assistant, and then I asked you about it. I asked you about SIC, and you said no, and I should have listened to you, but there was this opportunity. They were looking, and I really needed the chance to prove I could do it—for myself. Prove it for myself, and there was the door wide open with an amazing corporation, and knowing that we had a charity—a deserving charity—that would be the perfect fit, how could I not take the chance?”
I was breathless when I’d finished. And nerve-wracked. I’d always known this moment was coming, but I’d tried not to think about it, and not thinking about it had left me unprepared for how strongly I wanted Kendra to understand.
“You pushed them to the DRF,” she said, her expression unreadable but with a tone that said she knew I’d done this all for Teyana and that personal motives did not belong in these pitches, and obviously I had done it wrong, and this was exactly why she hadn’t given me the opportunity to pitch in the first place.
“I presented eight in total,” I said flatly, trying not to sound too defensive. “The DRF wasn’t even the first I pitched.”
Scott had been mostly silent until this point, but now he spoke up. “We would have picked the Dysautonomia Relief Foundation even if Tess hadn’t been so passionate about it. She was right. It was the right organization for us to partner with.”
It was embarrassing to have him witness this, but I appreciated his comment. The praise felt extra warm in Kendra’s chilly wake, and I suddenly felt it vital to clear his name. “Scott didn’t know I wasn’t there with your blessing. He had no idea I wasn’t legit.”
He met my eye, and for a moment I thought he was going to say something to try to take the blame. Then he seemed to think better of it. “I figured it out when you introduced us last night.”
It took her a second, but then she figured out how. “Because I should have known you’d already met.”
“Tess was completely professional,” he went on. “Her presentation was thorough. No one could have known she was new to the job. I think you would have been very happy with how she represented your company.”
She shifted her body, and now instead of being angled toward me, she faced us both like the base of a triangle. “My company would never have sent an employee in my place to meet with a client as important as SIC.”
“My father did notice your absence,” he admitted.
On that note, I had something to admit too. “He basically commanded that you be at all meetings going forward.”
Scott threw me a he-did-why-didn’t-you-tell-me glance.
I replied with an it-didn’t-come-up-between-orgasms glance.
Kendra took a deep breath. Otherwise, she was as poised as she always was when talking business, a trait so deeply instilled in her that I sometimes imagined she’d look composed even if she were hit by a train. It was weird how she had that professional mode, how she could separate it from her private mode, especially since this currently collected woman was the same person who collapsed in histrionics at the slightest bump in her more casual interactions and ran off on a whim when her heart was the slightest bit broken.
Weirder still was how much I wished she’d give me the dramatic response instead. How I wished for proof that she cared enough about me that my actions affected her too deeply to keep it together.
“The deal’s gone through?” she asked after a beat, still composed. And now a new slight as she angled her body completely toward Scott, as though excluding me from the conversation.
The worst part was that he went along with it. He didn’t even look at me before responding. “It’s in negotiations. Like I said, it’s a good fit. Exactly the kind of partnership we need to distract from other aspects of our image.”
“I didn’t think it was right for me to approach you. Even before.” Her eyes darted to the heavy ring she wore. “Before we got together. Our parents’ relationship and all. I thought it better to let you approach me.”
“I should have, honestly. I don’t know why I didn’t.”
“I suppose we’ll have to work on communication. I hear it’s important in a marriage.”
“I hear that as well.”
As irritated as I was to have been shut out, it was fascinating to watch the two of them interact. Mere acquaintances trying to navigate the prospect of a lifetime together.
That was not what marriage was supposed to be. Impersonal. Detached. A box to check off on a to-do list. It made me feel sad and sorry for both of them for ever thinking this was what they deserved.
But I was still irritated. So I didn’t feel that sorry for them.
And even though I knew Scott didn’t want to talk to her about breaking off their engagement until after he’d talked to his parents, it pissed me off that he was playing along with the idea that their marriage would actually happen.
And another thing that pissed me off? The fact that I only knew it was a sham of a relationship because of Scott and not because of Kendra. Which was a stupid thing to be pissed off about because I was pretty sure even her mother thought it was true love, and why would she tell me when she wouldn’t tell her mother? But I couldn’t help my feelings, and I was pissed nonetheless.
As though my feelings were strong enough to remind Kendra that I was still in the room, she turned her stare back on me. “Just because the partnership worked out doesn’t make the way it came about right in any way.”
The harsh words showed a crack in her veneer, a hint at emotion, and I suddenly remembered that although I was pissed, I was also guilty. “I know, K. It wasn’t right. I deliberately defied you. And I’m sorry.” Except I wasn’t really sorry because if I’d had the chance to do it again, I would have. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, anyway.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her posture no longer assured. “That’s the right word, Tess. I’m hurt. I’m really hurt.”
I was hurt too. All the times she’d denied me a chance to pitch, all the times she’d said I wasn’t ready. All the times she’d called me a friend and then shut me out.
It probably wasn’t the best time to express that. “I know.”
“I mean, this feels like a pretty deep betrayal. Out of all the people I could have invited to come work for me, I chose you. Not just because I knew the value you’d bring but because we were friends. Because I trusted you. I trusted you to look out for my company.”
“And I did.” It was one thing to let her feel her feelings. It was another to let her turn it into a baseless attack. “I made a move that Conscience Connect should have made. Because it was the right move.”
“That wasn’t your call to make!” Her volume rose sharply, and this was the version of her I’d expected to face. The version I’d wanted.
Before I could respond and turn it into an all-out screaming match, Scott stepped in. “Kendra. You and I, of all people, we know that the tactics it takes to survive in this world are not always the most compassionate.”
She whirled toward him, seemingly ready to lash out.
But then she collected herself. “You’re right. They’re not. But there are always consequences. Survival says compassion isn’t expected from me either.”
“I hope you’re not suggesting that Tess lose her job over this.”
“Hey,” I butted in, not at all interested in letting Scott fight my battles for me. “I don’t need anyone?—”
Kendra ignored me. “I hope you’re not suggesting you have a right to give input on how I run my business.”
He smiled. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about how you run your business. But Tess Turani is the liaison that connected my company with the DRF. She’s done all the work so far. My team and I trust her, and I expect her to be there going forward.”
They held a tense stare between them. I hated how I felt like a child witnessing grown-ups fighting. Small and powerless, with neither my opinion nor my feelings worth considering.
I was used to that from Kendra. Not Scott. I knew he was only trying to protect me and swoon for that, but I didn’t need him to man-in-charge me or on my behalf. I didn’t want that from him. I wanted equal footing with him. With both of them.
But equal footing wasn’t what I got.
“Of course,” Kendra said sweetly, my fate decided by others and out of my hands. Temporarily, anyway. “Tess and I will revisit the status of her employment when the deal is done.”
“Looking forward to it.” My smile didn’t look nearly as authentic as hers. A fault of my breeding, I was sure.
“Meanwhile.” She turned to Scott. “You drove here, didn’t you? Sweetheart.”
If he was surprised by the endearment, he didn’t show it. “Yes.”
“Good. Tess has a ticket for the train a little later. I was going to go back with her, but better that I drive with you instead. You can catch me up on the negotiations on the ride.”
At least he had the decency to flinch when he said, “Uh, sure.”
“I guess I’d better go pack my bag,” I said, storming out before I unleashed my growing fury. Who I was most angry with, I wasn’t even sure. Kendra for acting like a hard-ass? Scott for standing up for me when I didn’t need it and failing to do so when he should have? Myself for caring about both of them way more than I should?
One thing was sure anyway—Scott had been right not to tell her about our relationship. Mainly because her callous behavior today had convinced me I was stupid for caring about her feelings when she so clearly didn’t care about anyone but herself.
But also because, with my current attitude toward her fiancé, I wasn’t sure he and I would have a relationship much longer to even tell her about.