Chapter Ten
Rex
I’ve made an awful mistake. Why did I think confessing to Darien was a good idea?
My heart thunders and my stomach twists as I cradle him in my arms. This is why revealing ourselves to humans is so frowned upon. He’ll probably have nightmares for the rest of his life and never want to go into the woods again—his favorite thing to do. And it’ll be all my fault.
If I really cared about him, I should’ve resisted the selfish urge to come clean. Making this all about me was wrong. So what if I’m painfully lonely and think I’m falling in love with Darien? I had no right to ruin things for him.
My breath catches as he stirs, his eyes fluttering. I’m not prepared for his reaction, but at least I had enough sense to shift back.
“Darien? How are you feeling?” He gazes up at me with wide eyes as if trying to work out whether I’m real or not.
“Please forgive me. I never should’ve done this to you.
” My eyes burn. “I’ll understand if you tell the rangers or authorities, go to the press.
I can leave and find somewhere deep in the wilderness to hide.
It’s what I deserve for being so thoughtless and selfish. ”
Darien furrows his brow, and he pushes himself up. I loosen my hold, but even though he climbs off my lap, he sits down cross-legged next to me.
“Wow.” He’s staring holes through me, yet he doesn’t seem afraid anymore. “It’s fucking real. You’re a cryptid. An honest-to-God legendary creature.”
I cringe. “Please don’t call me a creature. It hurts my feelings.”
His jaw slackens. “Oh damn, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
To say I’m perplexed by his response is mild. Maybe he doesn’t hate me after all.
“No, please don’t apologize.” This is super uncomfortable. I’ve never given one second of thought to what I’d do if a human ever discovered my true identity. “Again, my actions were selfish. I was thinking with my heart and not my head.”
Darien tilts his head. “Yeah, so, along with the thousands of questions I have about the Howler situation, I’m confused by the whole selfish thing.
Why was it selfish? I’m the one who’s been pestering you about whether they’re real.
And I don’t get what you mean about your heart leading you.
” He pinches his eyebrows together. “What are you trying to say?”
“Err…” My thoughts drift to WWBD, as in ‘what would Boone do’, but maybe it’s time I put my big cryptid pants on and deal with this quandary myself.
“So… I wasn’t kidding when I said I feel a connection to you.
I don’t have anyone I can enjoy my surroundings with, anyone who feels the same deep link with nature as me.
I have my animal friends, but not having anyone I can talk to without having to hide who I am has been awful. ”
It’s not until I say it out loud that the truth hits me so hard. “I’m so lonely.” I give a small shrug. “I thought maybe you were feeling something similar because you don’t have any friends or family here.”
Darien bites his lip, his eyes glimmering. “What about the healer guy or those other Howlers that haven’t left the Ozarks? You never hang out with them?”
I let out a grunt. “Edgel barely leaves his cave and never-ending stream of reality shows anymore, and I don’t really vibe with the others. We don’t have a lot in common.”
Darien snorts. “Am I an ass for assuming that being a Howler is all the commonality you need?”
I smirk. “We don’t have a hive mind.”
Darien nods. “Yup. I’m being an ass.” He rubs his chin. “So you literally have no friends at all, no one to talk to ever?”
“No, I have friends. I chat with the guys on the Monster Network quite a bit.” I smile with a bit of pride. “I'm the US Network Secretary, so I have a lot of interaction with them.”
Darien’s eyebrows shoot up. “Monster Network. Monster? What the actual fuck.”
Oh. I seem to have two modes of communication. Secretive and complete openness. Interacting with Darien is somewhere in between. Every bit of new info is blowing his mind, and I can’t seem to grasp that I should slow my roll.
“That sounds a lot scarier than it is. It’s basically our cryptid government.
A way for us to make sure things are going smoothly with all the various species.
But it’s also social. For instance, we have the big summer solstice bash in Yellowstone coming up soon.
” I grin. “It’s the only time I can see the guys in person and really socialize, so I always look forward to it. ”
I suddenly realize that Darien’s eyes have bugged out and he has his hand over his mouth as if he might scream.
I should really shut up, but at the same time, I ache to pour out my heart and soul to him.
To have him understand me and maybe… My shoulders slump.
He’s being very nice about everything so far, but the leap from begrudging acceptance to forever-after seems insurmountable.
He finally lowers his hand and clears his throat. “I have so many questions.”
“Of course.” I nod. “Whatever you want to know. Should I start by telling you about the different types of cryptids? The solstice party? Howler history?”
“Oh my God,” Darien mutters. “Brain overload.”
I wince. “Sorry. I’m terrible at this. I’ve literally never told another human being who I really am.”
“Seriously?” I’m startled when he reaches out and lays his hand on top of mine. “That’s so sad.”
He seems to catch himself and quickly yanks it away. I almost reach for him, but my judgment calls so far have been epically shitty, so I refrain.
“It is what it is.” I smile. “Thank you for not running away from me.” My gut clenches, but I have to ask. “Does that mean you won’t reveal who I am to everyone?”
Darien presses his lips together, then answers, “I promised, didn’t I?
I wouldn’t do that. Especially now that I know the truth about you.
” His fingers curl into fists where they rest on his knees.
“You’d never be left alone, and how could I live with myself for ruining your life?
I’ve dedicated myself to protecting the environment and all its creatures…
” He arches his eyebrows. “Sorry, living beings. So just because I never knew cryptids were real doesn’t mean I’m going to change my beliefs. ”
I let out a long sigh. Maybe things will be okay after all. “I sensed that about you. I guess that’s why I took a chance and confessed who I really am.”
His features have softened, and his body has lost all its tension. I’m finally feeling better about what I feared was a reckless decision.
“Thanks.” Darien smiles wide. “I appreciate your trust.” He glances away, and I assume he’s deciding which cryptid fact he wants me to reveal first. He turns back to me. “I’m curious about one thing, though. What did you mean by you were thinking with your heart, not your head?”
His cheeks flush, and the heat in mine suggests mine are turning red also. “I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
“But you did.” He arches his eyebrows.
I run my hand over the top of my head, then fuss with the band holding my hair back.
Sometimes when I transform to my human self, the magic doesn’t put non-organic things back in place perfectly.
The one incident with the missing pants was a tough one.
I had to creep through the woods over several miles to get back to my cave and was almost spotted more than once.
It wouldn’t do for the local innkeeper to be arrested for indecent exposure.
“Rex?”
“Right, umm…” I scratch my chin. Why is it so much harder for me to express my feelings to Darien than it was to tell him I’m a Howler? “Well, you might end up not wanting to have anything to do with me just for this, but…” Man, I’ve never been so nervous before. “I’m very attracted to you.”
My cheeks are so hot I’m about to combust.
Darien straightens, letting out a small gasp, and I prepare for him to bolt.
“For real?”
I wring my hands. “Yes. I realize how abrupt this must seem, but…” I shrug with a shaky laugh. “I can’t help it.”
“So…” Darien begins, “are you saying you’d be interested in going out?” He chuckles. “That was dumb. We’re definitely out right now.” He ducks his head and peers up at me. “But another time, like on a date?”
I can’t believe my ears. This is an actual possibility?
“If you want to, yeah.”
Darien grins. “I’d love to. But I should probably tell you something first. You’ve been honest with me, so I should be with you.”
I pretend my heart isn’t in danger of being crushed. He probably has someone back in California. Maybe they’re even planning on moving here at some point. If all he wants to do is hook up, I’ll be super bummed.
“Sure.” I try not to sound too melancholy. “What is it?”
“I’ve never gone out with a guy before. I’ve only ever had one serious relationship, and it was with a woman. But I’ve come to realize that I’m not straight. I’m not sure if I’m ready to put a label on who I am yet, but what I am sure of is that I’m attracted to you too.”
Excitement courses through me, and I’m barely able to catch my breath. What an incredible day this turned out to be after all.
“Well…” My cheeks hurt from grinning so hard. “Since we are technically out already—like you said—maybe we can consider this our first date?”
Darien scoots closer, his bright, hazel eyes fixed on me as if I’m all that exists in this world. I ache to touch him. He places his hand on my knee.
“Do you kiss on the first date?”
My vision grays out for a sec, but I’m not about to pass up this opportunity. He tips back his head, and I lower my lips, pausing less than an inch from his mouth. Our breath mingles, and I slip my tongue past the seam of his lips.
I tentatively taste him, struggling to let myself go and kiss him the way he deserves to be kissed. Darien clutches my shoulders, and that’s the signal I need. I delve deeper into his mouth, exploring, claiming.
I gather him onto my lap without breaking the kiss, and he goes limp in my arms. I never want to stop tasting him, want to hold him forever. Darien responds to me eagerly, answering back with his own possessive swipes.
At last, we break for air, both of us panting. His pupils are blown wide, and he makes no move to climb off me.
I smile down at him. “Was out first date a success?”
He grins. “I’ll let you know. It’s not over yet.”
And with that, Darien takes the lead and steals my breath away with another kiss.