Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
Aurora
Since Deacon left the hotel, it feels like work is my only escape from thoughts of him. While I’m at Hotel on Ninth Street, I can block Deacon out and focus on the job. Even though he was such an important guest, I’m too busy to focus on anything but what I’m doing.
I’m in reception when a courier drops off an envelope for Poppy. I tell Tao I’ll take it to her. He’s busy and we’re a team.
I love working for Avril and Poppy. They’ve become friends and have given me a sense of belonging that I didn’t expect to have at all, let alone so quickly. I’ll miss them when I’m gone. I’ll miss this place and the people who have all been so welcoming.
I cross the lobby and knock on the door to Avril and Poppy’s office and go inside.
“Hi, Aurora, come in,” Avril says. “Poppy just went for coffee. You want me to text her to get you one?”
“I’m good, thank you. A courier just dropped this package for Poppy.”
“Are you sure you don’t want a coffee? I need a break and gossip.”
I finally shrug. “Sure. I’ll have a latte.”
“Regular milk?”
I smile at her question. I’m not sure I’ve completely settled into New York because I’m not ordering oat milk or almond milk or any other type of milk other than…normal milk. “Yeah, regular milk.”
She texts the request on her phone and we both head over to the table by the window.
“Are you stressed?” I ask her. “Or just hunting around for scandal?”
“Both, I think. I need a distraction because I’ve just been going through candidates for the general manager job again, since the last round of interviews was a disaster. Poppy says the problem is I’m looking for a carbon copy of you.”
My stomach swoops at the mention of my replacement. I hate the idea that someone else will be walking in my shoes soon. Will they care enough? Will they fit in? Any team is a delicate dynamic. A bad general manager could really upset what Avril and Poppy have so carefully built.
“You want me to take a look?” I ask feeling a little protective.
She shrugs and grabs a bunch of papers off her desk and hands them to me.
“What are you looking for?”
“You mean other than you?” she asks.
I laugh. It’s incredibly flattering to be so well regarded by Avril and Poppy, but I’m also invested in whoever takes over from me. I want them to be good enough. This hotel is a special place, and they need someone who will appreciate that.
“The problem you have is that you don’t just want someone with a lot of experience. You want someone who…will care about the place.” That’s not easy to find in any job.
“Exactly,” Avril says.
“And they need to be able to come in and work as a team and not just assert their authority.”
“I know,” Avril replies.
“And you don’t want someone who’s going to change things, just to put their stamp on it.
That kind of move is disruptive. The staff will see it, and it could cause a morale problem.
” It’s such a great team here, I’d hate for it to fracture because of a new general manager who didn’t care about the place the way Avril and Poppy do—the way I do.
“You get it completely,” Avril says.
“But you can’t tell any of that from a résumé or an interview.”
Avril groans. “It’s an impossible task. Tell me you’ve changed your mind and you want to take the job. You fit in. You’re like part of the family. And that’s what we’re building—a family-run hotel. Is there anything we can do to get you to stay?”
I pause. Since breaking up with Deacon, all I’ve done is count down the days until I can go back home.
I’ve not really thought beyond that. What happens when I get back to England?
It seems clear I’ll be able to go back to The Rookery.
So I’ll slot back into my old life. The problem is, when I think about living that old life, it doesn’t feel right. I’m not sure it ever felt right.
Being here in New York has been a roller coaster compared to life back in Chilternshire. It’s not all been positive, but it’s been real. And I’ve been center stage. It’s my life I’ve been living, rather than standing on the sidelines of someone else’s.
Do I really want to go backwards?
And I love this place. I love the fact that it’s an independent family-run business, not some soulless chain. I love the people and the way we’re right in the heart of the city—a city I don’t know well…yet.
I pause and press my lips together, before I blurt, “Is that still a possibility?” I never usually act without a lot of thought and consideration.
It’s stopped me taking action—moving, changing jobs, making choices.
But the thought of someone standing in my shoes, experiencing all the things that I’m going to miss out on makes me feel panicked.
I’m sick of feeling like I’m missing out, and if I go back to Chilternshire, I will only have myself to blame—there’s an opportunity for me right here.
Okay, so things didn’t work out with Deacon, but I’m going to be heartbroken in Chilternshire, just the same as I am here.
Except there will be less distraction—fewer opportunities for something exciting to happen.
Why would I just give up and go home now?
Avril jumps to her feet. “Are you serious?” she asks. “You want the job?”
I know I don’t want to go back to The Rookery and my cold little cottage and the same existence as I had before. New York hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been more than I had…and I don’t want to leave when I think there’s still more for me here.
Why had I made the decision to ditch New York and go back home so quickly?
Because Deacon broke things off with me—I was making a decision based on his choice.
It’s time I made a decision for myself. Not because it fits in with Deacon or Darcy or even Scarlett and Avril.
I need to decide what I want. And even though it might look like a sudden change of mind, it isn’t at all.
I’ve known all along. As the song goes, I’ll take Manhattan.
“I really think I do,” I say, almost surprising myself with how much relief I feel as I say the words.
“You think you do?” she asks. “Is that British for I absolutely do?”
I laugh. “Yeah, that’s British for I’d really like to be general manager of Hotel on Ninth Street if you haven’t found anyone else.”
“This is fantastic news! Fuck the coffee, we need champagne to celebrate,” Avril says, just as Poppy walks through the door carrying two coffee cups.
“You’re sure you haven’t found anyone yet?” I ask.
Avril just laughs. “We’re celebrating,” she says to her sister. “Aurora is going to stay.”
Poppy’s face lights up. “Really?” she asks.
My heart lifts like it’s on strings. It feels good to be wanted.
When I nod, she pulls me in for an awkward, handless hug, then places the cups down and hugs me again.
“This is great news,” Avril says again, as she jokingly pushes Poppy out of the way to hug me. “What changed?”
“Like you say, nothing’s really ever permanent. If I accept the job, I’m not committing my entire life to being in New York. I’m just saying this chapter’s going to be here.”
The next chapter. The next adventure. New York feels like the right place to be in the next part of my life.
I’ve spent so long at The Rookery that the thought of not going back felt almost impossible. But now even the thought of going back there doesn’t fit. Like a too-tight skirt. I’ve outgrown it somehow.
I survived the breakup with Deacon, albeit I’m still bleeding, but I’ll be okay.
He was the best thing that had ever happened to me in so many ways.
I don’t want that experience to chase me home.
I want it to propel me forward. I want to experience some more of what the world has to offer.
Going back to England would be reliving my history when my future is right out in front of me.
In New York.
Poppy lets out a sigh. “I’m so happy you’re staying.”
I nod enthusiastically. “Me too.”
“How can we properly celebrate?” Avril says.
“Snacks and a movie?” Poppy suggests.
“Absolutely not. Or at least, that can only be part of the celebrations. We need to put on some strappy sandals and a cute dress and paint this town a shade of tasteful peacock green.”
“Out out?” Poppy asks, incredulous.
“Out out,” Avril confirms, and I laugh.
“Can I invite Scarlett?” I ask. We’ve caught up a couple of times for lunch. It’s the only time I’ve really gotten to know her without Darcy being there, and I really like her. I want to add her to my expanding friendship group in this city.
“The more the merrier,” Avril says, very seriously, and then lets out a squeal. “This means I can really focus on Boston. We’ve got a lot to do and it feels so overwhelming. Knowing Hotel on Ninth Street is in safe hands is a weight off my shoulders.”
It’s so good to be really helping them. I feel like I’m more than an employee.
“And I’m definitely getting a junior finance person,” Poppy says. “Can we fit another desk in here?” she asks, looking around.
“Two more desks,” Avril corrects her. “We’re expanding. You never know, we might go full circle and end up opening a hotel in England at some point.”
“You never know. I might want to go back by then,” I say. But I don’t at the moment.
I can’t believe I almost didn’t take this job.
I was so close to running back to England that I didn’t see what was right in front of my face.
I just need to drop the bombshell on Darcy.
My parents will be happy for me. But Darcy?
She and I have been like sisters, living in each other’s pockets all our lives.
It will be an adjustment for both of us.
I hope she can be happy for me. I hope she’ll understand that I need to live my own life, rather than be a spectator in hers.