15. Declan #2
“Sinead likes that part too,” I said. “Actually, she likes this whole movie. I don’t know why.”
Olivia sent me a knowing look. “Is that why you picked it tonight?”
I didn’t answer that.
We watched as the heroine introduced herself as Lady Sadhbh. Fionn instructed his people to care for her. Sadhbh met Fionn’s sister, and the two became fast friends.
“The sister’s not in the original legend,” I pointed out.
“I’m guessing the 70s folk-rock music isn’t either,” Olivia said.
“No, that part’s original,” I joked, but it felt hollow.
Olivia hadn’t pressed me to keep talking about Sinead, and I felt oddly disappointed.
A part of me wanted to talk about her now, I realized.
Maybe because it was easier to talk about important things when we were both staring at a dumb movie, instead of each other.
“I don’t know who Catie’s father is,” I admitted.
“I always assumed Sinead didn’t know, or at least that he was someone she barely knew and that was why she never tried to get him involved.
But today she admitted she was basically in love with the fucker.
And yet, she won’t tell me who he is because she thinks I’ll judge her. ”
“And that hurts you,” Olivia said quietly, understanding.
“No,” I protested. Then I relented. “Maybe a little.”
Olivia reached over and slipped her hand in mine. “Just do your best to keep showing up for her, and give her time. She’ll tell you when she’s ready.” She gave my hand a brief squeeze, and then let it go.
I fought the urge to reach for her.
Onscreen, the movie had moved on to the sequence where Fionn courted Sadhbh. So far he’d picked a wild rose for her, sang a throaty folk song, and hit a man who insulted her. “Do women really find this romantic?” I asked, mostly because I needed to change the topic to something light and easy.
“It’s not the things he’s doing so much as the way he’s doing them,” Olivia said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You see the way he looks at her, like she’s the best thing in the world? And the way he holds on to her until the last possible second, like he doesn’t want to let her go?” She made a show of fanning herself. It was kind of cute.
I grinned. “Is that what you’re waiting for? Some guy to moon over you and hold your hand?”
Olivia snorted. “In real life, guys aren’t waiting to fall in love with you. And when they are, it gets creepy fast. That’s why I love movies.”
I frowned. I didn’t like the idea of Olivia doubting that any man would be lucky to have her. And I definitely didn’t like the idea of some guy making her uncomfortable or ruining romance for her.
“It sounds like there’s a story there,” I prompted.
Olivia made a face. “It’s not a big deal. Just a bad experience with a guy on a dating app.”
Everything in me went still. “Olivia. What do you mean by ‘bad experience?’”
If some bastard hurt her…
“It started off fine. We matched on the app, went on a few dates, et cetera. But when we were getting to know each other online, I mentioned this silly blog I ran on Snug. So then he created an anonymous profile and used it to get to know me online, pretending to be a random reader.” Olivia pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, protecting herself as she told the story.
“He didn’t tell me until we’d been dating for like a month. ”
“What a creep,” I said.
“Right? I think he thought it would be romantic or something. Two people who keep crossing each other’s paths until they fall in love.
But in real life it just felt…invasive. Like he was spying on me or manipulating me.
” She wiggled her shoulders like she was shaking off a bad memory.
“Anyway. I dumped him and blocked him online. And after that, I kept my blog and my real life separate.” She cocked her head at me.
“What about you? Are you waiting for some grand romance? The perfect woman?”
But I wasn’t ready to let her brush off what had happened to her. “What’s the creep’s name? Do you have his contact info?”
“Why?” Olivia asked.
“I’m going to ban him from Snug,” I said, dead serious.
“It wasn’t that bad,” she protested. “Men are creepy on the internet all the time. You can’t ban them all.”
“Yes, I fucking can,” I said.
Olivia smiled. “Aww. You want to do the cyber equivalent of punching the guy who insulted my honor.” She turned back to the movie. Her smile softened. “You’ve got more ‘hero’ in you than you think.”
That was bullshit.
But I pulled out my phone and shot Anil a text, reminding us both that we should review Snug’s policies about cyber harassment, and see if there were any areas where we could improve.
“So what was your blog about?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. “Fan fiction about your favorite TV show? Nannying tips? An expose on every dumb boss you worked for?”
Olivia laughed, and it slid through my veins like whiskey.
“Actually,” Olivia joked, “it was fan fiction for The Deer and the Warrior. I’m actually obsessed with this movie. It’s why I took this nannying job. I’m hunting for an Irishman who will promise to save me from evil wizards. It’s a highly specific fetish.”
“In that case…” I smirked, deepening my voice and thickening my accent as I looked deeply into Olivia’s eyes, and recited one of the movie’s most famous lines.
“‘Lass, I canna ignore the call of battle. But tonight, we dance. So be kind to your man and give me one last taste of what I’d die to protect.’”
At first, neither of us could keep a straight face. But as I got to the last line, the words didn’t feel quite as ridiculous as they should. If Olivia kissed me by an ancient bonfire and sent me into battle to protect her, I was beginning to think I’d go.
Olivia’s eyes darkened, and I felt my own pulse pick up in response.
Wait, was she really into this?
Because I had this whole fucking movie memorized.
Abruptly, Olivia scooted away and turned back to the screen. The color was high in her cheeks. “I forgot to say. Molly invited me on a double date this week. Is there any night where you’d be okay with me leaving work early?”
Her words felt like a cold bucket of water. She didn’t want me to kiss her. She wanted my permission to go out with another man.
I felt like swearing or kicking something. She was tangling me up in my own emotions—and the worst part was that she had no idea what she was doing.
“Pick any night,” I said gruffly. “I’ll make it work.”
I hated the idea of her going out with another man. But unlike Fionn, I didn’t have a right to my jealousy. This wasn’t a love story, and Olivia wasn’t my woman.
She was just my nanny. And she was casually turning my world inside out.