28. Natalie #2
He walked closer to me, and I ignored my body’s visceral reaction to being near him.
At first, I thought he looked better than ever, like not seeing him in real life for so long had intensified all of the things I loved about his body.
He seemed more muscular, as if he’d been spending all of his free time working out.
But as he drew closer, I studied his face and realized that he was pale, with shadows beneath his eyes.
“Natalie, look,” he said, holding his phone out to me as he walked to my desk.
I refused to glance at his face, focusing my attention on his phone.
“Look closely at the cover of this book.”
I snatched it out of his hands and saw a typical-looking clinch-cover of a Regency romance.
The woman was in a swirling purple gown with her head tipped back at an almost impossible angle and her eyes closed while the rake bent over her to plant a kiss on the side of her neck.
Erin Woodley’s name in the typical scrolling font dominated the top quarter of the cover, as usual.
“Okay? And?”
James sighed with obvious frustration. “Look at the models, for God’s sake.”
I held his phone closer to my eyes, then gasped. “That’s me!” My mouth dropped open as I studied the rake. “And you!”
He nodded.
“Wait…does that mean my name… That wasn’t a coincidence? James, what the hell did you do?”
His lips turned up in the world’s smallest grin.
“I called in a favor. The CEO of the media company that owns her publishing house is a friend of mine from the Glenhaven Club, and he owed me a favor. He introduced me to Ms. Woodley, and I asked her to help me out, in exchange for a donation to her favorite charity, since you’re such a fan of hers.
Plus, you’re the reason I was introduced to her work.
She’s very good. I’ve been reading all of her old books during my sabbatical. ”
I could barely form a sentence. I realized that I probably looked like an idiot standing there with my mouth hanging open.
“She wrote the first chapter of The Rogue’s Rebuttal,” James continued. He paused to stare at me. “She said the happily ever after is up to us.”
How was it possible that the mighty James Branson looked like a little boy in this moment?
“I don’t know what to say,” I finally managed.
James started to reach for me but stopped himself. “Say we can talk things through. That you’re open to hearing me out. I have a lot to tell you, Natalie.”
My heart swelled at the naked emotion in his voice. I wanted to believe what he’d said through the audiobook. It was a beautiful gesture.
But then I realized that that was all the thing was.
A gesture. He’d used his money and connections very effectively to manufacture a situation that would appeal to me, but that just meant that I was an emotional mess while he was cool as a cucumber.
It might work for some of the women he dated, but I wanted something real, not just a fancy gift with an astronomical price tag.
And speaking of the women he dated, he’d literally just ended things with Heidi.
Did he really think I’d welcome him back while his sheets probably still smelled like her perfume?
If I listened to what James had to say I had no doubt I’d fall for it.
The man was smart, and he knew me very well, knew how to get the response he wanted out of me.
It didn’t help that I was so hungry to touch him that I had to keep backing away from him, to keep my hand from accidentally connecting with him and short-circuiting my logic.
“Can we get out of here and talk?” James asked. “Please?”
There was an edge in his voice that almost sounded like begging.
Didn’t matter. My guard was way up.
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing you can say that will change things, James.”
Now it was his turn for his mouth to drop open. “What? Seriously, Natalie?”
I crossed my arms and hoped that my resolve would last. “It doesn’t matter what you want to tell me, my mind is made up.”
His face turned stormy. “So nothing I say to you will matter. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“I don’t see how any words can undo what you did.”
The air between us sparked with static. I could almost feel the heat wafting from his body. As much as I wanted to put distance between us, I held my ground.
His beautiful face looked tormented, with his brows drawn down and his mouth twisted into a frown.
“Do you want to know the truth?” he demanded.
I shrugged. “Go ahead, if you want.” You always do what you want anyway.
His expression softened a little, and his eyes searched my face. I refused to give him any indication of what was going on inside of me. That the tiniest flicker of hope had ignited deep within me.
“I fell in love with you, Natalie,” he whispered. “That’s what I need you to know.”
My eyes filled with tears at his confession.
It was exactly what I wanted to hear…and it didn’t change a thing between us.
I cleared my throat and swallowed the lump in my throat.
“You know what? It doesn’t matter that you think you love me.
You’ll always love Branson Designs more.
We both know it’s true. And I’m sorry, but when it comes to love, I will always put the person I love first—and I won’t accept him doing anything less for me. ”
I clenched my teeth together and stared back at him as his face fell. How I wanted to break down and cry, but I wasn’t about to show him that kind of vulnerability. I didn’t trust him with it anymore.
His entire body sagged as he seemed to process what I’d told him.
“But I….” He gestured between us wordlessly. “You mean you don’t…”
I straightened my back, summoning the last bits of my reserve. “I’m sorry, James. You made your choice, and there’s no room for me in your life. Not in the way I deserve. Trust me, us saying goodbye now is for the best.”
I moved to my desk to collect my things, because I was seconds from an ugly crying breakdown. I wasn’t going to let him see just how badly I was hurting.
“Goodbye, James,” I said over my shoulder.
He stood behind me silently, as if he still couldn’t understand what was happening, then I heard his footsteps retreating from the room.
The moment the door shut behind him I dropped my head and let the tears flow.