5 #3
“We don’t have roaches,” Mitzi said, turning to Stevie and Nate. “Or we didn’t have roaches until that dirty hippie moved
in next door.”
“Benny’s great,” Luna said, her mouth set in a defensive frown.
“Luna,” Margo said, “don’t.”
“She is. She has values.”
“Kid’s got a point,” Helen added from the recliner.
“Oh, don’t you start, Helen. Do you know she’s been bringing mice up here? From the basement?”
Luna was about to open her mouth, but her father shook his head.
“Have a cookie, Luna,” Helen said. “The dark cocoa ones with the white chocolate pieces are vegan. I made them for you.”
Luna sullenly got up and stomped over to the kitchen bar in her platform boots, the chains on her kilt gently jangling in time with her steps.
The crooner demanded that everyone in the room have themselves a merry little Christmas.
Stevie huddled in on herself with a plate of cookies and tried to disappear into the wallpaper.
“So!” Arthur knitted his hands together and leaned over his crossed legs to focus on Nate. “We’re all here to make you feel
welcome and help you with anything you need while you’re here. Sounds like you’ll be busy! Now, how long have you two been
dating?”
Stevie almost choked on her gingerbread man’s arm. Everyone watched her cough and gag, her eyes watering, but then were distracted
by a knock at the door.
“Who’s that?” Mitzi asked. “Everyone’s here. Lance, did you order something?”
Lance shook his head and swayed along to Tony Bennett as he answered the door. Someone else joined the party, causing a sudden
quiet to fall over the conversation.
“Sorry if I kind of smell,” the new person said, not looking the least bit sorry. “I came right from the shelter and one of
our new dogs was shitting everywhere.”
“Benny!” Luna said, grinning. Helen smiled as well. Lance, Sophie, and Imogen looked confused. Elliot rolled his eyes and
rubbed his forehead.
Mitzi looked like the fire sprinklers had come on and sprayed the room in piss.
Benny was short, with masses of reddish-blond hair that wasn’t quite curly, but was thick and unwashed, thrown up in a messy topknot that leaked golden tendrils to her shoulders.
She was wearing denim overalls streaked in what Stevie really hoped was paint.
She had the hardy and wild look of someone who might be seen wandering over a Scottish hillside, wearing nothing but a bearskin and a ratty kilt.
She was gloriously, proudly filthy. An earthy, pungent odor emanated from her clothing in near-visible stink lines.
“Hello, Bernadette,” Lance said with a stiff smile. Benny went to sit down on a beige velvet chair, causing Mitzi to lurch
forward.
“Not there!” Mitzi shrieked. She settled her voice back down to add, “If you don’t mind. Since you’re . . . still in your
work clothes.”
Benny seemed to take no offense to this and planted herself on the wooden dining chair that Mitzi indicated.
“Buone feste, Benny!” Lance said, trying to smooth things over. “Auguri! Can I get you a drink?”
“Love one of your famous Negronis.”
“Coming up!” Lance went over to his bar cart to concoct the drink.
Snacks seemed bewitched by the odor emanating from Benny and scooted up to her. She reached down and gave him a playful scratch.
“Busy time of year at the shelter,” Benny said. “I’m volunteering Christmas and New Year’s Eve because a lot of people have
kids and can’t do those dates. People come to adopt animals as gifts. Like they’re toys. We try to screen them, make sure
only the serious ones get to adopt, but it’s hard. Then they bring them back after the holidays because people suck. They
treat animals like they’re nothing.”
Benny’s gaze had landed on a short fur jacket hanging off the back of Sophie’s chair, which made other people turn to look at it. Luna, however, did not. She kept her focus down on her phone and was furiously typing.
“You see we have some new people,” Lance said as he prepared the drink. “This is Stevie. And this is Nate Fisher. He’s staying
at Diana’s. He’s a writer.”
“Oh! Have you met Elliot here? He’s a writer too.” Benny made air quotes around the word. “Elliot would like to take any story of yours and maybe write it down, if he
can work up the energy. Being a pompous failson takes up a lot of time.”
Benny’s words didn’t seem to bother Elliot very much.
“Are you thinking about taking a holiday shower?” he replied.
“Thinking about it,” Benny said, accepting the drink Lance offered her. “It depends on your mom’s schedule. That’s our favorite
spot for lovemaking.”
Stevie caught Luna zeroing in on her out of the corner of her eye, but when she turned, Luna went back to her phone.
“Benny tried to write a book,” Elliot went on. “She couldn’t finish.”
“And yet, your mom always does.”
“Okay!” Andy slapped his thighs and stood up, nodding to Margo. “We better get back. We have some work to finish up. Thank
you so much for the hospitality, Lance.”
“Wonderful to have you!” Lance waved. “Auguri! Please come by on New Year’s.”
“Wait,” Luna said, bouncing with some urgency on the cushion as her mother tried to move her along. “It’s you. The one with
the murders!”