Eight #2
“Come on, Edira.” Rorik beckoned to me with the slightest curl of his fingers and a wicked smirk. “Let’s see if you remember anything I taught you.”
Everything in me demanded I take the bait, but I forced myself to hold steady. My eyes tore apart every tense muscle in his body. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Did you want me to?” He cocked his head to the side. “I’ve always been exactly what I said I was. Nothing more, nothing less. Tell me, why are you so angry?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Heat colored my words, and I stepped toward him. He didn’t retreat. “I’m furious that after everything I’ve done for you and your family, you won’t help me.”
“I am trying to help you,” he growled.
“Really? I must have missed that,” I hissed. “Because the only person I see you spending any time with is Ossanna, and she’s not the one trying to save you.”
An emotion I couldn’t name flashed in his eyes, but I felt its heat down the heartbond. “You shouldn’t be jealous of her.”
“You know nothing about what I feel.”
“That’s right. I suppose I wasn’t privy to your innermost desires like my darling deceased brother was.”
Indignation roared through me, and I lost all semblance of control.
I launched myself at Rorik. I knew he’d expect me to come at him again, so rather than aim a punch at his face, I simply threw my entire body into his center.
He wasn’t prepared for me to wrap around him, and I took us both tumbling to the ground.
His head smacked against the earth, and he let out an audible grunt as I pinned him beneath my weight.
Shock made him slow to react as he blinked up at me.
Pressing my thighs tight on either side of his hips, I sat on top of him and threw punch after punch against his chest.
His ribs shuddered beneath me, and I thought I was finally, finally, doing some sort of damage to his precious ego, when I realized that rumbling was nothing more than a laugh.
“Edira—”
“Shut up!” I screamed.
He caught my wrists midair and snared them in his hands.
Then, with one obnoxiously fluid move, he flipped us so my back was pinned to the earth and he was poised above me.
With ease, he pressed my wrists to the ground above my head.
My chest heaved uselessly as I writhed beneath him, and a dangerous, tantalizing heat filled his stare.
“Stop it,” he murmured.
His breath was warm against my neck, and gooseflesh rippled across my skin.
A sudden awareness clicked in my mind and doused the fire raging through my veins.
All I could see was his broad chest and the exposed length of his neck.
All I could feel were his hips pressing down against mine and the delicious pressure of my hands bound by his above my head.
Heat flared in my cheeks, and I swallowed.
He watched it all. “I’m going to let go now.”
All I could do was nod.
Slowly, he released my hands and then shifted off me. I hated how much I immediately missed the weight of his body.
“Sorry.”
“Are you?” He chuckled. Leaning back on his hands, he stared up at the afternoon sky.
“Not really, but it felt like the right thing to say.” Pushing myself up, I scooted into a sitting position a safe distance away from him, where he was out of reach and where I could easily keep my hands to myself. The emotions raging inside me subsided, and I groaned as I pinched my nose.
Rorik blew out a heavy sigh. “This is my fault. I wasn’t paying attention to our bond, and I let some of my emotions slip through. You’re frustrated, so my frustration simply amplified yours.”
“That was your frustration?” I rested my chin on my shoulder as I stared at him. “You’re a fucking mess if you’re that upset all the time.”
“I know.” His smile was stilted. “You can blame yourself for that, though.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course, because it’s so immeasurably difficult to have me around.”
“Yes.”
My nails dug into my knees. “This is going nowhere. You still refuse to help, yet you can find it in your heart to spend time with Ossanna. Is she trying to pawn Issa off on you like she did with Orin, or does she want you for herself?”
Rorik winced. “It’s complicated.”
“Is it? It’s not like we have anything between us.
Orin was going to do the same thing, despite claiming to love me.
” The words tasted like ash on my tongue, and I looked away to avoid the weight of Rorik’s gaze.
“I’m sorry you had to heartbond with me out of some perceived fealty after I broke your family’s vow.
I’ll be dead soon anyway, and then you can go about your merry days with her. ”
A rumble of discontent came from him, but I refused to stop. “I’m going to do this with or without you. You can make it easy for me, or you can make it hard. All I’m asking for is the chance to do what I want with my last bit of time on this gods-forsaken earth.”
Tension filled the space between us as a deep, pregnant silence took over.
I felt his stare worm into me, and it grew heavier, more damning, with every passing breath.
I drilled my fingers against my legs until finally I turned.
Fire burned in his eyes, and the muscles along his neck strained tight against his skin.
The vein near his temple flared, and there was so much hanging unsaid between us that I nearly broke down and closed my eyes.
I couldn’t stand the way he was looking at me.
Like I was some burden he’d been forced to carry.
I carry the weight of unspoken burdens in my bones.
He’d said that to me one night, before I understood the truth of his predicament and how Orin essentially controlled him. I never wanted to be like that. I didn’t want to be the reason Rorik felt forced to do anything.
Heat pricked at the backs of my eyes. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. I’ll just—”
“Fine.” The word was so strained, so heavy, it scraped through the air. “I’ll help you.”
“Forget it.” Now that he was offering, I couldn’t bear to take it. It felt wrong somehow, stripping this tiny piece of self-control he’d gained, this choice he’d finally made for himself.
“Don’t.” He inched toward me. “Gods-dammit, Edira, do you ever think of yourself first?”
I blinked. “What?”
“For fuck’s sake.” He blew out a breath and ran his hand through his hair.
“You say you’re going to do this regardless, because that’s your choice.
Fine. This is my choice.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he pressed his finger to my lips to stop the words from spilling out.
“But just know that I’ll fight you every fucking step of the way in the hopes that you change your mind and run.
” He watched me with an intensity that made my lungs stop working altogether.
After a long moment, he let his finger fall away, leaving behind a burn on my lips.
“I think you thrive on being difficult,” I finally managed to say.
“Maybe,” he mused. He turned his body so he faced me directly. “Place your hands in mine.”
Gingerly, I did as he asked. His lips quirked as his thumbs teased the center of my palms. Warmth spilled from his touch, and while I knew it was just body heat pooling between us, a flicker of desire stirred in my chest.
“Close your eyes,” he said.
I frowned. “After you just pinned me to the ground?”
His grin sharpened. “I can do it again if you’d like.”
Heat flamed in my cheeks, and I slammed my eyes closed. “Just tell me what to do.”
“What a tantalizing offer,” he purred. I bared my teeth at him, and he laughed. “Just picture our bond.”
Finding it had never been hard. It was impossible not to search for it every time I rummaged through my consciousness.
It was a beautiful, sparkling thing that yearned to be seen.
Touched. Acknowledged. It bloomed to life in my mind with ease, and my breath naturally fell into a slower cadence as I waited for Rorik’s guidance.
Memories of our past skated through my mind.
How many times had we done exactly this?
Sat together and simply breathed? It felt so natural to be doing it again, and a pleasing weightlessness filled me to the brim.
“Good,” Rorik murmured. “It’s one thing to wear a mask on your face, but an entirely different thing to mask your truest emotions.
Usually by the time they bloom to the surface, they’re a bit diluted and easier to manage.
I forget, as a mortal, this intimate knowledge of your emotional being is often lost on you. ”
I snorted. “I don’t know whether to be offended or to just chalk that comment up to more immortal snobbery.”
“Both,” Rorik said. “Still, the more familiar you are with the source of your feelings, the easier it will be to mask them. When they pop up, give them the space to fully breathe. Acquaint yourself with the rawest form of what you’re experiencing, and the next time, you’ll recognize it sooner. And be able to mask it.”
“I’ll have you know there will be no filtering on my end. I’ll make sure you experience every ounce of disgust and rage I feel toward you at any given moment.” I couldn’t keep the grin from tugging at my lips, but I had no idea if he saw it or if his eyes were shut like mine.
Even so, I could hear a hint of a smile in his answer. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. Now, just keep breathing.”
Nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened next.
At first I was there, standing on the edge of the bond and staring into the darkness where I knew he lurked.
Then there was a deep, heavy shudder like the ground giving way, and the bond between us went impossibly taut.
The river itself became a placid stream of shined gold, more reflective and blinding than I’d ever seen, and suddenly Rorik was there in my mind.
He stood at his end of the bond, his amber eyes trained on me. Waiting. Watching.
There was a slight pause. The calm before the storm.
And then everything slammed into me.