Chapter Four
Wade
I’ve never been this man before. You know, the one who stalks a woman and drives her and her child away from their home in the dead of night. I’d bet that guy doesn’t have a lot of friends. I can’t imagine he gets the girl in the long run either.
How could he?
She’s fragile right now. Raw. She needs a shoulder, a listening ear, someone who’s going to be gentle and soft.
A friend. Not some asshole who hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what she’d look like with nothing on.
Not some asshole that laid in bed wishing she were in his arms, on his cock, filled up with his come.
Fuck! I need to get a grip. I want her to feel safe here. At the core, that’s the goal. I need to suppress all this sexual tension.
“Are you always up this early?” She stretches her arms into the air, lifting an oversized Aerosmith T-shirt up her thigh.
This is intentional, right? There’s no way she’d saunter out here with her thick, creamy thighs exposed if she wasn’t interested.
I clear my throat and take a sip of coffee. “Mornin’ chores.”
“I bet!” She sits down across from me at the island. “I didn’t realize you lived on a farm until last night. I liked falling asleep to all the animal sounds. We don’t get things like that in town, though I did hear a racoon in the back bin a few nights ago.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty nice out here. A lot of work but it’s worth it.” I pour her a cup of coffee and set it down in front of her with the cream and sugar. “They’re on a schedule though. I miss breakfast by ten minutes, and everyone gets cranky.”
“Same, if I’m being honest.” She grins and takes a donut from the box on the counter. “Are these from Josie’s?”
“Yup! Sorry I polished off the last bear claw yesterday. I didn’t know I’d be having company.”
That gains me a smile. “I’ll forgive you considering you did Jasper and I a huge favor last night.
Thank you!” She reaches across the table and lands her hand on mine.
“I mean it. I shudder to think where we’d have ended up.
Plus, I slept better than I have in months and Jasper is still asleep, so I doubt he’s going to complain. ”
“Good, I was worried y’all wouldn’t be warm enough. I forgot to tell you about the extra blankets in the hope chest.”
She dips her donut in the coffee and takes a bite, talking casually with her mouth full as though we’re old friends. “Oh, you have a hope chest? I didn’t see it.”
I glance down then up again slowly. “My, ugh, my wife… she had this dream to turn this place into a farm, so she bought that chest to store things that were taking up space for equipment.”
“Oh!” Her eyes widen. “I didn’t realize you were married. I’m—”
“No,” I grin, “I’m not. She passed away years ago.
It was a sudden accident on the road between here and the Springs.
It took years for me to rationalize it. Every ounce of me wanted some sort of cosmic justification.
That somewhere there was an answer for why she could be here one day and not the next. ”
Her voice softens as she says, “I’m sorry about your wife. That’s… awful. I had no idea.”
I pinch my lips together and pause for a moment before speaking.
“Thankfully, we’d started working on this farm dream.
So, I began growing some veggies, our daughter Kit fell in love with horses, and before you know it…
farm. Kit and I did it together for years, but she’s an adult now and she needs to spread her wings.
So, when the animals need to be fed and the crops need to be harvested, I’m the guy.
” I let out a calming breath. “I may not have gotten the answers I was looking for, but I got the focus I needed.”
She nods. “That must have been so hard. I don’t know what I would do without my mom. We don’t always see eye to eye, but if she was suddenly gone, I’d be devastated.”
I nod slowly. “Girls need their moms, no matter their age. It was so obvious to see it in the way Kit and her mom interacted. No matter what they were feeling in a moment, you could see the love shining through.” I nod toward a picture of Kit hanging on the wall.
She was four at the time, pigtails, overalls, the whole thing.
“She’s carrying on her mom’s free spirit and love for animals.
” I suck in a deep breath. “Unfortunately, she’s seeing one of the guys at work now.
Not sure I’ll ever get used to that, but life works in mysterious ways. ”
She nods slowly, her gaze stuck on mine. “It does. I never thought I was going to end up here last night. Not in a million years.”
“Have you heard from Pete?”
“I texted him this morning and told him it was over, then let him know that I was willing to work out a visitation agreement with a lawyer come Monday.” She takes a bite of the stale donut, and I realize I need to go grocery shopping.
“I’m not looking to take Jasper from him.
I just don’t think it’s healthy for us to be there full time anymore, ya know?
” She’s barely finished her sentence when I hear the patter of little feet running down the hall.
“Mom? Mom!” Jasper’s tiny voice yells as he rounds the corner. “Do you see the horses outside, and the red barn? I think I’m still in my dream!”
Sara lifts her boy into her arms and holds him close to her chest before turning toward me. “Every night before bed he tells me how he wants two horses with a big space and a red barn.”
“Well, then you’re in luck, bud. There are six horses out there.”
“Six!” He glances toward Sara, dark eyes bright and wide. “Mommy, can we feed them carrots?”
“I have sweet potatoes. Will that do?”
Jasper nods excitedly and bolts back down the hallway as quickly as he came. “I’m getting dressed!”
Sara spins back toward me, her face bright and happy. “I’m not sure I’ve seen him this excited about anything ever.”
“He should be over the moon then when we take him to the rodeo tonight.” I pause wondering if maybe I’ve overstepped. “I mean, if you want to go. You don’t have to go with me. I’m not implying that—”
“I want to go with you.” She smiles. “It sounds fun! Plus, you got us the tickets. Thank you! He’s going to lose his mind. You should let me cook dinner. It’s the least I can do.”
“The closest thing I’ve had to a home-cooked meal in months is the diner’s Sunday special, so I reckon that sounds like a plan. There’s a greenhouse outside you’re welcome to pull from. Everything else has to wait for the thaw.”
She grins wide. “You’ve got a greenhouse too? What do you grow?”
“Staples mostly. This time of year, the greenhouse is pretty stocked with spinach, carrots, and… I think there’re some peas out there too.”
She nods slowly. “Sounds like your wife had the right idea for a dream.”
I smile, thinking back to the woman that stole my heart a long time ago. “She sure did, but that greenhouse is all me. See, I’m cheap and if I can grow ten potatoes for the price of one from the grocery store, that’s what I’m going to do. Plus, I like the self-sufficiency of it all.”
She smiles wide and twists her long blonde hair to the side of her shoulder. “Yes! That’s how I grew up. I swear, if you try and explain this stuff to people who haven’t lived it, they think you’re crazy.”
Jasper comes running back down the hall with a crooked gait, his clothes half on. “I’m ready. I just need help with the snaps.”
Sara leans down and readjusts his jeans, buckling them closed before tightening his socks. “Looks good, bud, but where are your boots?”
“Boots!” He tears back down the hall again, running his hand against the wood chair railing as he turns the corner.
My chest tightens as though I’m seeing ghosts. “I didn’t realize how much I missed this.”
“Missed what?”
“Noise in the house. Little feet. Voices echoing. Life. I got used to the quiet but I’m not sure I actually enjoyed it.”
“Why didn’t you ever remarry?” She grins coyly. “I hear what the women around town say about you. You could find someone if you wanted to.”
I raise my brows with genuine curiosity. “What do the women around town say?”
“Nothing.” She covers her smile with her small hand. “You know… they just talk about how big and rugged you are.”
“Well,” I shrug and finish off the plain donut, “I don’t know. I just never wanted to date. I got busy with work and life. Just figured I was too old to start over.”
“Do you still feel like that?”
I stare at the woman I’ve been thinking about for months. The only one I’ve shown interest in since my wife passed. “I don’t know what I think anymore.”
She nods slowly, the two of us locked in on each other the same way we were at the salon until Jasper’s footsteps come jogging down the hall again, this time with a clomping of boots that are clearly on the wrong feet.
Sara smiles and lifts him into her arms. She’s so gentle with him, so sweet as she kisses his head and rearranges the boots to their rightful place.
“Okay!” he shouts and wiggles away. “I’m ready to see the horses!”
“You’ve got to eat some breakfast first, and Mom has to get dressed.” She glances toward me. “Can he have a donut?”
I really need to grab some groceries. A growing boy can’t eat old donuts every day. “Sure can. I’ll make a trip to the store tomorrow so we can have something a little more nutritious.”
“Not necessary,” she says standing from the stool. “I’ll grab some stuff in town when I’m there this afternoon. I need to get a few things from the house, anyway.”
My chest tightens and my brows narrow. “The house? You have to go back there?”
She nods. “I didn’t grab much last night. I need more of my clothes and Jasper’s toys. I only brought the absolute essentials with me.”
I’m tempted to offer a shopping spree for all new things, but I understand the comfort brought from familiarity. “We can go to town together this afternoon. We’ll get your things and we’ll stop at the market.”
“I don’t want to bring you into all this. It’s my problem. I’ll deal with it.”
I step toward her, my hand resting on her shoulder.
“As long as I’m here, I’m going to help you.
So… why don’t you take your time, get dressed, maybe have a bath, and relax for a bit.
I’m sure you could use it. I’ll take this guy outside to see the horses.
” I glance down at Jasper, who’s stuffing a donut the size of his head into his mouth.
“We’ll check the coop for eggs while we’re out there. ”
“Are you sure? He can be a handful, especially when he’s excited.”
“I’m sure. You relax.” I lift the kid down from the chair, donut still in hand. “We’ll have fun out there. Right, Jasper?”
He nods and grabs his jacket with his free hand, tugging it on as best as he can while not letting go of the chocolate frosted pastry.
I know I shouldn’t get used to this… Sara’s warm presence, Jasper’s excitement, the noise in the house… but damn if it doesn’t feel good to pretend.