1. Just the Way You Are
1
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
brUNO MARS
2 YEARS LATER
“Throw that bag in the closet, and then y’all just go ahead and grab the barbeque from the counter. I’ll be ready in a minute.” Ginny stuffed the last of her laundry in the dresser, promising herself she’d perfectly organize every single drawer once her sisters left the apartment.
Her apartment. Her loft. All to herself.
“Gin!” Georgia hollered from around the corner. She’d been steadily unpacking the kitchen and, Ginny suspected, slowly eating all the coveted Duke’s BBQ macaroni and cheese before she or Caroline could get their hands on it. Ginny thought she might just kick her sister to the curb if Georgia so much as touched the corn dog with Ginny’s name on it before she got a bite.
Muffled and definitely eating something, Georgia asked, “So, are you gonna bring Danger to the wedding this weekend?”
“Are you eatin’ my corn dog?” Ginny snarked while carefully stacking her folded towels into the single linen closet, then turning to arrange her books on a shelf Dakota had installed the year before.
“No, Virginia, I haven’t touched your precious corn dog… Stop evading.”
“Ya know,” Ginny said to herself and her boisterous sisters, “I think I should invest in some autumn candles. Pumpkin… cinnamon… apple pie—”
“How ‘bout one that smells like a tall, dimple-chinned, supermodel with a man bun and a heart of gold?” Caroline interrupted.
“I’m not bringing Danger. He already has plans.” Ginny rolled her eyes. Danger, or Daniel as she later learned, was a man she’d met in a senior level English lit class. One date and one public indecency citation later, they’d gone their separate ways, romantically, but had managed to become really good friends. He was awesome, despite their failed first and only date. And to his credit, his family had begun calling him Danger as a child. As ridiculous as it was, he really did consider it his true name.
Ginny’s sisters, happily married and now mothers, loved to shamelessly ogle the long-haired, Henry Cavill look-alike. Something their incredibly secure husbands found juvenile yet somehow charming.
“Ohhhh,” Caroline squealed from her spot on the plaid couch. Ginny could only see her sister's mismatched-sock feet kicking in the air over the head rest. “That man is so dang handsome, Gin. I don’t care what his name is. Ya should probably give him another chance.”
“I’m not gonna do that,” Ginny said, throwing a mustard yellow pillow at Caroline’s face on her way to the kitchen, where she butt-bumped Georgia away from the mac and cheese. “You have zero self-control.”
Georgia laughed. “With mac and cheese or Danger?”
“Both,” Ginny answered, scooping a bite from the container.
“I’m just sayin’,” Caroline continued, joining them with a fork of her own over the mac and cheese, scooping a bite and then stuffing it into her cheek as she talked, “he’s always hangin’ around, and you always seem to be in his office when I come by.”
“I am not always in his office, Caroline,” Ginny defended herself. “We’re friends.”
Georgia squealed, “Oooohhhh, this is getting juicy. Caroline, hand me a sweet tea. I need somethin’ to sip on.”
Caroline grabbed the requested tea for Georgia then hoisted herself onto the tiny countertop, letting her legs dangle. “I saw Gin in Danger’s—Mr. McDuffey’s—office twice last week and then again on Monday.”
“How they let a man who was so unhinged over a pie-eatin’ contest—that he felt compelled to strip half-naked in the street—become an elementary school counselor is beyond me. But, please, do continue.” Georgia sipped her tea through a pink straw and smiled deviously over it.
“I have not been there that often!” Ginny flicked Caroline in her smug cheek then took a bite of the corn dog she considered a prize for having this conversation with her sisters. “And they let that man be a counselor because he earned it. With two degrees. He’s brilliant, and he’s great with the kids. Plus Danger and Ryan, your best friend and our elementary school physical education teacher—who also stripped half-naked, may I remind you—have made amends. They’re totally friends now.
“I’m just friends with Danger. We hang out sometimes, and I brought him lunch. That’s it.”
“And those times have nothing to do with the fact that you think Danger’s a babe?” Georgia asked.
“Zero.” Ginny rolled her eyes and busied her mouth with bites of barbeque and corn dog. Those visits to hang with Danger had far more to do with the possibility of seeing his newest friend, the aforementioned PE teacher, and nothing to do with any interest in Danger himself. He was completely aware of Ginny’s romantic situation, or lack thereof, and also completely hung up on a girl he’d known his entire life, who apparently didn’t see him romantically. Something Ginny could understand all too well.
Both her sisters pouted their disappointment. But Caroline, never one to let things go, took the last bite of their shared appetizer and said, “Can you at least admit he’s easy on the eyes?”
“Can you admit your objectification of my very good friend is creepy and at least a little inappropriate?”
Caroline looked at Georgia who shook her head. Caroline nodded and hummed her silent agreement.
“Never,” she replied, hopping down from the counter and grabbing Ginny and Georgia by their arms. “Now, come on. We’ve gotta have a snuggle before I go home to the boys.”
Georgia and Ginny followed, falling side by side onto Ginny’s mattress and staring at the wooden rafters across the ceiling.
“I can’t believe it's your turn in here, Gin,” Georgia said wistfully. “It feels like you were just over having slumber parties with me, and now it's your place.”
Ginny rested her head on her eldest sister’s shoulder. “Aww, Georgie. Motherhood has made you so sentimental. You can escape Mr. Clean and his perfect little minion and have a slumber party here with me any old time. No questions asked.”
“What about me?” Caroline elbowed Ginny from her other side. “Am I invited? I’m the one living with all those boys!”
All three groaned, likely simultaneously remembering Dakota’s unexplainable smelly stage, where everything he owned and touched seemed to stink like dirty gym socks soaking in bath water.
“Of course you’ve invited,” Ginny said, grabbing Caroline’s hand. “I’d never subject you to stinky boys for too long.”
“They’re kind of amazing, though,” Caroline sighed. “And so, so cute.”
“And my house is freakishly clean all the time. Toddler included,” Georgia added.
Ginny hummed, not understanding at all but well acquainted with their fanciful musings over the Lovett brothers, who they’d each fallen head over heels for and married. In truth, Georgia and Caroline, seven and five years older than Ginny, had both dove headfirst into their own lives with careers, husbands, and now kids. Built their own families. Moments like this one, in the loft with just her sisters—though missing Sadie—were few and far between.
Sadie had lived in the loft above Good Start Coffee for the last year and a half while Dakota had gone through Officer Training School and then his initial pilot training for the Air Force. But after this weekend, they’d be married too and off to Florida for his first assignment. And Ginny would be settled in the cozy, studio loft that each of her elder siblings had lived in at one point or another. Alone. With her mustard yellow couch pillows, ancient hand-me-down couch, and the festive candles she’d definitely be buying for each season. But even those little details that would make this place hers couldn’t lessen the strange feeling of loss she felt moving everything she owned into the loft.
Ginny loved the idea of Dakota, her lifelong, built-in bff, and Sadie—who’d become as close as a sister to Ginny over the past few years—running away and living happily ever after together. Though when her brother and his beloved fiancé chose public displays of affection—specifically where his parents, siblings, or their children were present—Ginny did have to actively remind herself not to gag.
They were in love. They rarely saw each other. She was happy for them. It was natural, etc, etc.
But more commonly, Ginny found herself deeply saddened at the thought of her two closest friends leaving her behind in Sugartree as they set off on a new adventure together. Although she was the youngest, she’d never really had to say goodbye to any of them. It was the beginning of a new, uncharted season.
All three siblings had stayed in state for university and had then settled in the crazy little town of Sugartree with their spouses… aside from Dakota. Her protector. Her pest. Her pal.
While Georgia and Caroline, the two oldest, had been paired their whole lives—a strong force against the world—Ginny, being the baby, had most often been paired off with Dakota, sibling number three and the only boy in the bunch.
Now that stinky, endearing buddy of hers was leaving and taking one of her best friends with him. Their sisters were busy with husbands and babies and jobs. And Ginny would have the loft… to herself.
Every time Sadie became giggly over her upcoming wedding, color schemes, or house hunting, Ginny tried her very best to remind herself of how happy she felt for Sadie and Dakota and not how much she’d grieve their absence in her everyday life. Moving into the loft was the final piece of the abandonment puzzle.
“So,” Caroline said, breaking Ginny from her private and pathetic reverie, “how much do you wanna bet Kota cries before he’s even in his tux tomorrow?”
“Ten bucks says he holds out until she walks down the aisle,” Georgia said through her laughter, always giving Dakota the benefit of the doubt.
But Ginny knew her brother, and she knew how long he’d waited—not entirely patiently—for Sadie to love him in return. “I bet he doesn’t make it through dinner tonight.”
“Virginia Maple, where on God’s green earth were you all morning?” Ginny’s mother looked completely put together in her blush-colored, mother of the groom gown, though her tone and the red fire in her eyes told Ginny she should tread softly. “We had a mind to hunt you down. Ya know… so we could get ready for your brother’s wedding. Ya nearly missed the whole thang!”
A terrible exaggeration. Ginny had only missed Caroline’s early morning grumpiness, Georgia’s itinerary debrief and, likely, Sadie giving everyone a chirp of wisdom in the midst of it all.
“I’m sorry, Mama,” she offered. “I had a quick errand to run this mornin’.”
To the record store in Honey Hill, where she found herself most mornings when she felt as if she wanted to be surrounded by noise but not necessarily by people.
“But I made it,” she said wryly to her Mama, who looked as if she could throw Ginny over her knee in that moment and give her a good and proper spankin’. “And look, they’re married! Crisis averted.”
“Ginny,” her daddy warned, using his best retired Air Force Colonel voice, “don’t sass your mama.” He had a twinkle in his eye that said he thought whatever she was up to was likely far better than their morning chaos, but Ginny didn’t mention it.
“I’d never sass her, Colonel,” she said and perched a hand against her dad’s shoulder so that she could better reach his cheek for a kiss.
“I was just wonderin’ where you were, is all,” her mom said quieter, bumping Ginny on her side, the tulle skirts to both their dresses shuuussshhhing with the movement. “You’re so elusive sometimes, and it seemed odd. I just wanna make sure you’re alright. And ya deserve to get just a little grief for missin’ out on Georgia’s schedule this morning when the rest of us had to memorize her color-codin’ and charts.”
“It was one for the ages,” the Colonel added, winking at them both. He put his arms around them and pulled them close as they all watched Sadie and Dakota greet guests before their first dance.
Sadie wore a silk, spaghetti-strapped ivory dress with a ruched neckline and a dramatic train that made Ginny think of old hollywood. It looked stunning against her coiled curls, pulled to one side. Dakota, dapper in his Air Force dress blues, looked as if he wouldn’t be letting his brand new wife out of his sight. His hand had found its home resting against the small of her back or pulled tight around her waist or at the base of her neck since the pastor had said, “You may kiss your bride.” He’d been touching, attentive, and completely smitten with Sadie all night, just as he’d always been.
Ginny smiled at her brother and sister-in-law as they hugged Sadie’s parents across the reception room. “I had to grab their wedding gift, that's all. I was waiting to find the perfect one.”
A record. Featuring Men Without Hat’s single, Safety Dance . They didn’t have a record player, but Ginny knew Sadie and Dakota would love displaying the album in their home. A reminder of the road trip that had finally brought them together two years before. She’d picked it up at For the Record after weeks of back and forth over which album would be best as a gift to them.
The first time she’d been to For the Record was with the purpose of chasing Ryan down after he’d been avoiding their family for months. Ginny suspected she knew the reason behind his notable absences, which only fueled her annoyance further. She’d been watching Dakota get his first tattoo, saw Ryan walk into the store across the street, and didn’t think twice about marching over and giving him a piece of her mind.
Unfortunately for her, Ryan had been meeting a date at the store that day which gave Ginny the unfortunate opportunity to meet that lovely creature—dressed in a strapless, flowing dress and long wavy locks—right after she’d placed a familiar kiss on the very man Ginny had aimed to chew out. So, instead, Ginny greeted them, introduced herself as Virginia, earning Ryan’s irritated glare. Then since she couldn’t challenge the fairy goddess that was Ryan’s date to a pie-eating contest—one she’d absolutely win—Ginny proceeded to shop in the store as if that had been her intention all along.
Despite her flailing, she’d soon found the store to be a kind of sanctuary and, after that, returned morning after morning to walk through the aisles in between the freelance graphic design jobs she did from home. She hadn’t run into Ryan again but loved getting lost in the smell of worn and dusty, vintage album covers and the eclectic playlist heard over the speakers. She’d rummage through a section, organizing them by color or alphabetically—since they always seemed to be ridiculously out of order—and introspectively wondered whether she should just go ahead and apply to work there in her down time.
For some reason, though, Ginny had kept her little, record store hobby a secret. A kind of quiet place for herself, outside of her siblings or friends. A clubhouse all her own. One she only mildly associated with the man she’d harbored a crush on for half her life.
None of these things would she admit to her mama and daddy, who looked back at her like she hung the moon, despite her tardiness.
“Ya ready for your big moment, Sugar?” the Colonel asked.
Her big moment being the song her brother and Sadie had requested be sung for their first dance. A song she’d practiced countless times on her own but never with the accompanying guitar player and harmonizer—Ryan—who’d also been asked.
“Yes, sir. I’m sure it will be fine.”
She got her cue from the DJ, a come hither wiggle of his eyebrows that made Ginny want to both squirm and burst out laughing, but she took center stage all the same, meeting Ryan halfway.
“Hey,” she offered, trying extremely hard not to appreciate the way he filled out his navy blue suit or how the guitar strapped over his shoulder looked so natural it may as well have been another limb. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier, but I like your suit. Ya look like a born and bred superstar.” So much for not noticing his hotness, Ginny. “Which socks did ya pick for the occasion?”
She nudged him playfully, loving the tiny tilt of his lips at her question.
Ginny had learned only a couple weeks before, during one of her visits to Danger’s office, that Ryan had the habit of wearing quirky novelty socks in his day-to-day life.
“Something to keep the kids happy,” he’d whispered so that Danger, who’d been distracted at the time and unaware of his sock secret, wouldn’t overhear. More like something to swoon the proverbial socks right off of Ginny, but she’d steadied herself and locked her lips. His secret would be safe with her, but she’d delight in the knowledge all the same.
He’d seemed embarrassed during her initial discovery. A day when he’d chosen to wear calf-high blue and purple polka-dotted socks with armadillos scattered across the fabric. She’d wanted to ask whether he’d special ordered them, but the look on his face in the office that day had her hesitating and just soaking up that private piece of him. She wondered if his closer friends—her sisters, Blaire, or Dakota—knew.
He leaned towards her, distancing himself from the mic, but didn’t take his eyes from the crowd of wedding guests before them. “They’re music notes…”
“And?” She leaned in, meeting him halfway and getting smacked across the face with the scent of his familiar cologne, the same one he’d worn since high school. She had no idea what brand—it could be a low budget pharmacy brand for all she knew—but she’d happily live in a cotton-candy cloud of that scent, if given the option.
Ryan strummed once. Always keeping his hands busy. “And dancing hearts with bow ties,” he admitted quickly. “You’re gonna ask me every time you see me, aren’t you?”
“Duh. Yes. I spend far too much time thinkin’ about you layin’ out your special socks every night before bed. I bet they match your mood or your outfit… or your underwear.”
Do not think about Ryan’s underwear, Virginia.
“I don’t do that.”
“Mhmmm. Sure. Whatever you say, Ryan Hood… Those socks are precious. They may be my favorite thing about you.” She took the mic in her hands and noticed the way Ryan barely glanced at her as he took his position in front of his own microphone. “In any case, from your head down to your dancin’, heart-printed feet, you look really handsome, Ry. ”
His hand slipped, strumming off key and sending a sharp twang into the room, but he regained composure quickly. Ginny could almost see him clam up and draw a figurative dark red line between them on the stage. Stay back ! it said. The man is terrified.
Of what? She wasn’t sure.
“Oh, uh… thanks, Gin,” he stammered. “You… I mean your dress is… cute.”
Cute.
She looked down at her dress, a spaghetti-strapped, rose pink, 1950’s inspired tulle masterpiece. Her hair was loose, falling in long, dramatic, heavy blonde curls over her shoulders with one side pulled back. She’d taken careful care to get her makeup just right. Ginny felt like a lovely, sophisticated woman. Not… cute.
“Thank you. No adorable socks to match, but Sadie picked it out for me,” she said, hiding her disappointment. “So, I like it. And the Best Woman had to look good, so…”
Ryan nodded without looking at her again and cleared his throat, addressing the crowd with all the charm and grace he’d been missing only moments before.
“Hey, y’all. We’re so happy to celebrate Mr. and Mrs. Dakota Remillard with you.” The audience cheered before he continued while strumming the guitar lightly with his finger tips. “Dakota’s baby sister, Ginny, and I are gonna sing a song for the newlyweds while they have their first dance. So, here goes.”
Cute. Baby sister.
After a momentary stutter, Ginny sang the first words to their duet, hearing the way Ryan’s harmonies blended with her voice perfectly. Like smooth maple syrup poured over warm, buttered pancakes. No need for practice or extra time together, however much she would’ve relished in it.
They worked. In a craving-finally-satiated sort of way. She could feel and hear and almost see it. And as she watched Dakota and Sadie sway to the music, lost in each other as if no one else were in the room, she wished that, just once, Ryan might see her the same way.