3. Tom’s Diner
3
TOM’S DINER
ANNENMAYKANTEREIT & GIANT ROCKS
Dearest Alphabetical Police,
Wow. What more can I say? I got your message, loud and clear.
I’d like to mention the fact that upon receiving your note, I asked Jan, the owner (Do you know her? She’s cranky, too), if she left me this enchanting and well-written warning. She said she didn’t have the time or inclination to care about what order the albums were in as long as they stayed in their “territory”. Which leads me to believe you felt personally inclined to correct me of your own accord.
I’m not even mad. Mostly impressed. And I wouldn’t normally respond, but it's been a tortuously long weekend, and I’m feeling just a tad bit agitated myself. (Again, not your fault, but here we are.)
The Civil Wars over The Righteous Brothers?
No. Simply, no.
I know I’m the one who put them in front, because ya can’t argue with talent, tension, and grit, but they are no contest against their rivals. Come on! “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling” (Which clearly you have… Sorry. Just callin’ it like I see it) and “Unchained Melody”… They can’t compare. The Civil Wars albums were great but will never measure up. Just one man’s opinion.
Simon and Garfunkel made the honorable mention list for sentimental purposes. My grandparents played them on every car ride during my childhood. I proudly knew every word to “The Sound of Silence” before I was ten years old. But I digress…
I’m sincerely sorry for the clear, emotional distress my personal organization caused you.
Will I stop? Decidedly, no.
But I’m sorry all the same. Maybe we’ll meet again in the music… but probably not.
Sincerely,
Grumpy Jan’s new BFF
For Unchained Melody Man,
I am not cranky! Thank you very much.
Well, I was a little cranky when I left the note on Sunday. More like frustrated but with cause. So, I’m sorry for that. It had been a long weekend for me, too.
But I’m not a cranky person in general. I’d call myself spirited. Determined. A go-getter.
My family says tenacious, which really means I’m persistent and stiff-necked to a fault, but I yam what I yam. (Low key Popeye reference. You’re welcome.)
So, here I am on Tuesday morning, happy as a clam and rearranging music alphabetically like it's my jam. (See what I did there? Musical poetry.)
Would a cranky person leave clever musical puns for you to find behind your favorite album? No, sir. She would not. Ms. Jan certainly doesn’t.
I once got in trouble with her for lingering too long in the Movies and Music section. She said anyone who was that interested in soundtracks couldn’t be trusted. For the record, I vehemently disagree, as would a couple of my siblings.
So, Ms. Jan is not cranky, she’s terrifying admirably scary. Like a great aunt you respect deeply but don’t want attention from. (Ms. Jan, if you’re reading this, please don’t kick me out. I love this store and you, and you’re so cool it hurts. I want to be you when I grow up… kind of.)
I’ve always liked “April Come She Will” more than “The Sound of Silence”, but that’s just one woman’s highly regarded opinion. Your grandparents sound like they have decent taste in music, and thus, you must have inherited some redeemable qualities through them or, at least, through osmosis of the ears even if you can’t alphabetically order lists.
I get it. Letters are hard.
Alright, I’m off for some music therapy and may actually bring one home today. I’m thinking something super gloomy and appropriate for fall. Isn’t this the best time of year for music? It makes me melodramatic and somber and torturously romantic. I love it. Probably why you will never convince me The Civil Wars can be topped.
Yours Truly,
A woman definitely going home with an Adele Album
To Mood Music Madam,
I caught you red-handed! In Movies and Music again? Tsk-tsk. What would Ms. Jan say?
This is me saying, “Game on.”
Call me a glutton for punishment, but I rearranged the section accordingly and you said you’re a go-getter… which, for the record, I highly respect so have at it. (Not me flirting.) Anyways, I’d love to hear what you and your siblings would say about my choices.
Top three in order: The Last of the Mohicans, Jurassic Park, and I’m not too proud to say, Hamilton. Though the last one should probably be in musical theater, it wouldn’t aid my cause there. This isn’t even taking into consideration Top Gun, Rocky, or Remember the Titans which are in a soundtrack caliber all their own.
I warn you, I am a bit of a score snob. For years my best friends have endlessly tortured me with musicals, so there's definitely no way your tastes, however far off, could shock me. I will say this… I also work with a crowd who love a few notable soundtracks, so I may run your opinions by them. (Are we allowed to say what we do for a living? How many personal details should I share with the record store vigilante?) Either way, you’ve been warned.
Happy sorting, Mood Music. I’m walking home with an autumn album myself. Coming straight from the One Hit Wonders section… where you’ll find me next.
Yours Truly,
Melody Man